The Secrets to Happiness

The secrets to happiness are within the reach of almost everyone. Incorporate the habits, practices, and ways of thinking about the world that happy people use. Beware of the myths associated with happiness. Not gender, age, social, or marital status alone makes one happy.

Stress and pressures of life have negative effects on mood and behavior. They can even lead to heart attack, stroke, or depression. Positive feelings correlate with living longer and having more fun along the way. Randy Larsen and David Buss, chairmen of the Washington University Department of Psychology, co-wrote a textbook called Personality Psychology. They suggest getting in touch with the happiest times of your day, week, or month. Is it playing golf, having dinner with friends, or volunteering at an animal shelter? Try to do more of the things in your life that bring you joy. Here are a few suggestions to increase your happiness. • Just think of how lucky we are living the U.S., rather than the Middle East or somewhere else. We already have it made in terms of the opportunities in this country.

• Try to behave like an extrovert, even though it is not your disposition. Create opportunities to be social. Compliment a person at the grocery store, say hello to someone at a bus stop and have a five-minute conversation.

• Find a new outlet for energy. Clean out your closet or take a walk in a park you never visited. Try learning a new language. Walk on the beach at sunset and have dinner in a new restaurant. If you only read a certain class of book, try something new – an espionage novel or historical biography. Visit a place you haven’t been, somewhere local would be perfect for a weekend getaway.

• Have a few friends write down the five happiest days or nights of their lives. What did you think at that time and how has your perspective changed from the past to now? Get together and discuss it.

Drop the habits of neurotic people, don’t complain. Be a listening ear for someone else and cheer up a friend who needs it.

• Don’t dwell on a problem or jump to a worst case scenario. We all spend too much time worrying about things that never happen. Keep things in perspective. • Try to find humor in a problem or even laugh at yourself.

Decide to dwell on what is positive about your life. Before bed, make a short list of ten things you are grateful for today.

In time, that list will grow.

Baring and Daring Weddings

Life is short, and as long as you’re not hurting anyone else, do what makes you happy. But some wedding attire trends might make me change my lifelong motto. There are some things you cannot ‘unsee’ and therefore, permanent damage to one’s ability to believe in common sense is a distinct possibility. It’s not fair to invite unsuspecting folks to your nuptials, then make them watch a spectacle that will give them nightmares. If you’re going to do something bizarro, give the invitees a heads up, so they can politely craft an excuse to miss it. I thought I’d heard of everything when it came to weddings. Nope. Turns out, if you don’t keep up, the ever-increasing onslaught of weird news will run right by.

The most stomach-churning ones, to me, are the naked or nearly naked, bridal parties. The very idea gives me hives. That said, if it’s taking place at a nudist colony or nude beach, well then, anybody attending already knows what’s exposed, so those don’t count. Naked wedding parties are similar to the disappointment of going to a nude beach, because most who option out of clothing aren’t the ones we want to see in their birthday suits. From the pictures I’ve seen (my retinas will never be the same), the people who get naked-hitched aren’t exactly good-looking. That’s fine. I’m not passing judgment, I swear. But, gee golly willikers Bob, give the witnesses a choice. If invited, chances are they know the bride and/or groom and possibly much of the bridal party. They can calculate in advance how much alcohol to drink before arriving, or decide to be busy that day. I wonder if one such group knows their picture is on the first page of search results.

The bridesmaids wore G-strings and garterbelted stockings, stilettos, and red glittery pasties over their boobs. The groomsmen wore short-shorts and top hats. The generously sized bride and groom wore less than their attendants. And tattoos in the most interesting places. Not that there’s anything wrong with permanently coloring your body if that’s what you want to do. But making the rest of us aware of intimate details we really don’t want to know is just plain mean. Like the one bridesmaid who had the word “lefty” on her left breast, and “ritey” on her right breast. Yes, the tattoo artist got it wrong. Where I came from, if you could see the bride’s bra strap, it was an embarrassment. Of course, I’m from a tiny Mayberry-ish town in New Jersey.

Now I live in South Florida, and I should be used to anything and everything, but yikes. There was an expectant bride who was apparently very excited about the impending birth of her child because she wore a gown with a big hole cut out in the middle for her naked baby bump to protrude through. Another wore a topless gown to show off her enormous ta-tas, which had sequined white pasties over them. I do not understand this. I remember my father and my grandparents lamenting the new generation and the way they did things. I thought they were hopelessly old-fashioned. Jeez, maybe I’m just getting old.

When seniors need a lawyer

An 86-year-old who broke her hip recently was released from rehabilitation. While she was well enough to leave a medical facility, she faced other issues: She could no longer live alone and she’d accumulated expenses that far exceeded her ability to pay them. The senior citizen’s daughter looked for help and found it through Feldman & Feldman, a law firm specializing in, among other areas, elderly law. The firm is working with the woman, the surviving spouse of a wartime veteran, to help her qualify for VA Aid and Attendance benefits. Feldman & Feldman is also providing the area resident with options to qualify her for Florida Medicaid benefits to assist with her care expenses.

“We are also assisting the senior with ensuring her advance directives are up-to-date, so that her daughter may step in and act for her, if necessary,” said Michael Feldman, a partner with the Coral Springs firm.

Feldman is an elder law attorney, a lawyer who specializes in legal problems faced by the elderly andtheir families. Elder law attorneys deal with the “practical and special needs of vulnerable elders and their families, when facing health-related and financial problems,” Feldman said.

He said senior citizens should retain an elder law attorney whenever they face problems related directly to legal problems often faced by the elderly. Elder law’s areas of practice include Medicaid or VA benefits, advance directives, such as durable powers of attorney, healthcare designations and living wills. Elder law also encompasses estate planning and estate administration.

Before hiring an elder law attorney, a person should conduct research by finding out the answers to he following questions:

  • Is the lawyer a member of specialized organizations such as NAELA, AFELA, the Elder Law section of the Florida Bar?
  • How many years has the attorney worked in Elder Law?
  • What specialization and/or board certifications do they have?

Sometimes a person requiring the services of an elder law attorney might contact an ombudsman. Such an individual is “a government employee charged with protecting citizen rights in particular areas of concern,” Feldman said. “Most are attorneys themselves but will refer you to an appropriate private attorney when and if they believe your needs will be best served by engaging private legal counsel.”

According to the web site elderlawanswers.com, under the federal Older Americans Act each state must have an ombudsman program that addresses the complaints of residents who live in nursing homes, board and care homes, and assisted living facilities.

Each statewide program usually comprises several regional or local ombudsman programs which operate within an Area Agency on Aging or other community organization.

 

For help

Snakes On The Loose!

Living out west in Coral Springs, Heron Bay, Parkland, and Boca Raton brings numerous natural rewards: an amazing panoramic view of the Everglades with beautiful sunsets and incomparable bird watching.

It also means sharing that beauty with wildlife. Bobcats, opossums, raccoons, and deer are valued as our unique natural treasure. Yet according to state wildlife officials, those very species are being wiped out by a singularly hungry snake that doesn’t belong here: the Burmese python. Rabbits and foxes already have shockingly vanished wherever pythons now dominate, say wildlife researchers.

In the 1980’s when pet snakes like pythons grew too large to keep, their owners “set them free” or they released themselves. It’s also believed that many more escaped when recent hurricanes battered South Florida’s pet stores and exotic animal importer warehouses.

Before long, these pesky Southeast Asian natives established themselves in the Everglades National Park, rapidly breeding and expanding their range northward.

Who can forget the unbelievable media images of huge pythons attacking and eating grown alligators, usurping the mighty gator’s place as top predator in the vast River of Grass?

Special hunts for Burmese pythons have proved ineffective because the Glades offer a very similar habitat to their home where they easily hide in high grass.

Now researchers estimate there at least 100,000 of them slithering around in South Florida. Each adult interloper reproduces an average of 30 – and up to 100 – voracious little pythons every year into Florida’s fragile ecosystem. They have gobbled up untold numbers of native animals and probably will never be eradicated, according to scientists who now only hope to keep their numbers in check.

Burmese pythons are non-venomous. Instead, they constrict their prey, literally squeezing the life out of them before slowly swallowing them whole. They are one of the most feared species of snakes because they can grow to more than 20 feet long and weigh 250 pounds. And the fact that they do not fear people, unlike most snakes, makes them that more dangerous.

So what should you do if you encounter a Burmese python in your yard? Your best choice is to just let it be. Most snake attacks are a result of the untrained trying to capture or kill them. Odds are it’s probably just passing through the area anyway. So give it some time and space to do just that

If you have small children or pets that play outside, never leave them unsupervised. To exclude pythons and other snakes, eliminate places for them to breed and hide (remove brush piles, fill in under decks and sheds, plug holes and other openings in the home exterior, keep your grass trimmed).

And always remember: Though you may fear them, most snakes are harmless and they all benefit us by eating unwanted bugs, mice, and rats.

If the python must be removed, call a humane animal control professional or a wildlife rehabilitation center. Report any Burmese python sightings to the Florida Wildlife Commission hotline: 1-888:IVE-GOT1 (1-888-483-4681) or visit Ivegot1.org.

Florida’s Crazy Laws

by Glenn Swift Jr.

strapless

We all remember the embarrassment, and humiliation, we proud Floridians endured during the 2000 presidential election: butterfly ballots, and hanging chads. Those images are firmly planted in our memory banks. So, let’s be honest. We didn’t look all that great before the nation. Of course, we assured ourselves that all the insanity wasn’t indicative of our robust, cutting-edge state. Well, on closer look, maybe we do need to rethink a few things after all. You see, we have some, let’s say, rather bizarre laws still in effect in our glorious Sunshine State. Here are some examples of what I’m talking about. Just don’t tell your friends up North.

 

They’ll be convinced that we really are nuts!

 

In Florida…

It is illegal to block any well-traveled wagon road.

It is illegal to fart in a public place after 6pm on a Thursday.

It is illegal to skateboard without a license.

Failure to tell your neighbor his house is on fire is illegal.

It is illegal to fish while driving across a bridge.

Sexual relations with a porcupine are strictly prohibited.

It is illegal for an unmarried woman to skydive on Sunday.

When having sex only the missionary position is legal.

Women can be fined for falling asleep under a hair dryer. (the salon owner can also be fined for this horrible crime.)

It is illegal to break more than three dishes per day, or chip the edges of more than four cups and/or saucers.

Lap dances must be given at least six feet away from a patron.

You may not kiss your wife’s breasts.

Rats are forbidden to leave a ship docked in Tampa Bay.

Topless walking or running within a 150-foot zone between the beach and the street is prohibited.

In Key West…

It is illegal to spit on a church floor.

Chickens are considered a “protected species.”
In Miami…

It is illegal for a man to wear any kind of strapless gown.

It is illegal to imitate an animal.

The penalty for horse theft is death by hanging.

No person shall operate a bicycle unless it is equipped with a bell or device capable of giving a signal audible for a distance of at least 100 feet; however, No bicycle shall be equipped with, nor shall any person use upon a bicycle, any siren or whistle.

Oral sex is illegal.

In Miami Shores…

Any product manufactured in a Communist country that is sold within its city limits must be clearly marked so as not “to hide its Communist origins.”

In Pensacola…

Citizens may not be caught downtown without at least 10 dollars on their person.

It is illegal to roll a barrel on a street. (Fines go up according to the contents of the barrel.)

A woman can be fined (only after death) for being electrocuted in a bathtub while using self-beautification utensils.

In Sarasota…

It is illegal to sing in a public place while attired in a swimsuit.

If you hit a pedestrian, you are fined $78.

Catching crabs is illegal.

In Tampa…

It is illegal to eat cottage cheese on Sunday after 6pm.

Are these crazy enough for you? For more crazy laws, visit
stupidlaws.com/laws/united-states/florida
.

Driving the Open Road

Life is a highway for female trucker Desiree Wood. This wasn’t always the case, and her dream job wasn’t to be driving a big rig. “I was in a bad situation, and my friend encouraged me to try it,” she said.trucker

Wood reasoned that since her children were grown, and she was single, couple that with her love to travel, this would be a good fit. Her next step was to get her commercial driver’s license, which proved to be quite problematic. The obstacles she encounter took quite a bit to overcome.

Wood discovered that most CDL schools were a scam. At one point she wrote a story that Dan Rather investigated. Rather interviewed her, and the piece, titled “Queen of the Road,” aired. (youtube.com/watch?v=bdi37oFBW5k).

Because of how difficult it was for her while she was training, Wood’s co-founded Real Women in Trucking. The website, realwomenintrucking.com, has information and support for women who are interested in becoming truck drivers. The site also lists CDL schools, both good and bad. It also includes events, news, and a blog.

Woods has been driving for nine years. “I drive a truck both locally and long-haul. This past year I was working with a truck driver staffing agency in Fort Lauderdale that had me working in a number of different driving positions that included Pompano, and Deerfield – where I was living when I became a truck driver-, Boca, and throughout the state. Through them I found a position in Palm Beach County where I could drive both locally and long haul delivering specialty plants that are sold at Home Depot and Lowe’s.”

Woods has three pieces of advice for women who want to become truckers. “First, make sure you are not used to life’s pleasures. You need to learn to rough it. Second, Do thorough research on a school, and be willing to live on small pay. Third, make sure your health is good. Driving is hard on a body,” she said.

A final word to the public, Wood said “When you see us on the road, remember we are your moms and grandmas. We see you driving. Don’t cut us off!”

Reaching for the Sky

As a young girl, Rachel Martinez considered different career options. She thought about being a doctor or an architect. Then she had the opportunity to take an airplane ride with a program known as Young Eagles through the Experimental Aircraft Association in Homestead.pilot

“I went up in a Cessna. It was my first flight, and I loved it. Then I saw an older Navy plane with an open cockpit. My mom talked to the pilot and he gave me a ride. When we were airborne, he allowed me to fly the plane. It was the best feeling and I fell in love with flying,” she said.

Martinez went to Embry-Riddle Aeronautical University in Daytona Beach where she majored in aeronautical science, and minored in aviation safety. Martinez earned a bachelor of science degree in three and a half years. She earned her pilots license there, and become certified to fly multi-engine aircraft. She completed a training program at American Flyers in Pompano Beach so she could teach people to fly planes.

While Martinez loves flying, she does not consider herself an airplane fanatic. Her family was not involved in aviation. Her mother encouraged her to follow the dream to be a pilot. “I love flying. The views are beautiful and I am at peace when I am flying,” she said. “It is such an adventure to fly.”

Eventually, Martinez would like to get hired by a major airline. If she realizes this dream, Martinez hopes to continue giving flying lessons on a part-time basis. “I enjoy teaching others to fly,” she said. “I want to volunteer with Young Eagles. That would my way of giving back to the aviation community. I would volunteer with the program that I went through.”

For now, Martinez is working on building her flight time hours. She needs 1,000 hours to be considered for an airline position. She also will have to earn her airline transport certificate to work for an airline. Once she has these qualifications, she hopes to get hired by a regional airline, often a first step to getting hired by a larger airline. If an airline offers her a position, the organization will provide her training on flying jet aircraft. Much of this training will take place in a flight simulator.

Martinez is a confident and articulate young woman. She likes to help others, and being a pilot allows her to do so. “I enjoy seeing families and individuals reach their destination. Everyone has a reason to travel whether to see family or to visit a new place,” she said.

Celebrating Turkey Day on a Castle

by Victoria Landis

castleIf you carve your Thanksgiving turkey in a galvanized tub while wearing cargo shorts and sitting on a stool on a flat castle roof, you might be a unique kind of redneck.

For 16 years, I hosted Thanksgiving dinner, usually for 10 to 12 people. I skew toward a medium-formal setting when I host; placemats, napkins, matching silverware, a table centerpiece, but nothing too Martha Stewart-y. But last year, I needed a break from the two full days of dawn-to-dusk cleaning, prepping, and cooking. So I made my cancellation announcement to the normal invitees, withstood some loud, and withering complaints, then my significant other and I headed south. Since we were lucky enough to be in the Florida Keys, we were invited to partake of the annual feast at the home of an acquaintance of the SO’s.

They were so kind to include us, and we gratefully accepted. I brought a big bottle of Pinot Grigio, and a from-scratch apple pie. We arrived at 3pm, as requested. They lived in an unusual place: A fake medieval castle. Yeppers. Had the notched parapet wall at the top and everything. A souvenir shop occupied the ground floor, and although there was no way to tell from the outside, the second floor had four apartments.

We trudged up the exterior stairs, knocked on the first door, and found 13 other people crammed into a teensy apartment without a table. There was a small living area that barely fit a sofa and side chair. and The television stand was flanked by a miniature kitchen with maybe a total of eight-feet of counter space.

Now, don’t get me wrong, I’m not putting my hosts down for being obviously economically challenged. But imagine our head-scratching, trying to figure out how they planned to feed us. There wasn’t space for each of us to actually sit anywhere. I wondered if their good intentions hadn’t been thought through.

The tiny kitchen had every available inch covered with various foods in the making, ingredients, dirty prep dishes, and booze bottles, since it also functioned as the bar. I opened my Pinot Grigio, poured a generous amount into a red plastic cup, and asked if I could be of any help in the kitchen. She put me to work making the gravy. While busying myself with my task, I asked the hostess, as nonchalantly as I could, how she planned on serving everyone. “We’re eating on the roof,” she said.

That inspired one of her kids to show me said roof. We went outside, up another flight of stairs, and a huge open area of flat concrete appeared. The notched walls were high, so no one would ever suspect parties could happen on top of the souvenir shop. Folding chairs lay against the wall, and three silt-encrusted folding tables sat empty in the middle of the space, but far away from and at odd angles to each other. So, you might ask, why wasn’t anyone from the crammed apartment hanging out up there?

Wind. It was so windy. How to prevent everything from blowing away? I shook my head, shut my mouth (It’s taken years, but I’ve gotten pretty good at that), and went back downstairs.

Our hosts made enough food for half the town. Two turkeys−one oven-roasted and one deep fried−and an enormous ham simmered in a big pot of Coca-Cola. No, I can’t explain that. Three kinds of potatoes, green beans, cornbread, and pasta salad. When it was time to eat, we hauled the food to one of the roof tables. The sooty dirt wasn’t cleaned off of any of them. They weren’t repositioned so the guests might feel like they were dining together. No tablecloths or placemats (they’d have blown away). Paper plates and paper towels were weighted down with rocks.

Our host pulled up a stool and put two galvanized tubs on the concrete floor, each holding a turkey. Using an electric knife, he carved them and placed the meat on platters, also set on the floor. Remember, it’s outside. Loose dirt abounds and it’s windy.

It was a precarious thing, holding a flimsy paper plate flapping in the wind while trying to plop food on it, and keep the plastic wrap or foil covering each dish from becoming airborne. In the end, that effort failed, and all that wasn’t secured did eventually sail off into another person’s backyard celebration.

We ate holding our plates down with one hand. When my SO, seated to my right, had finished his meal, he forgot for a moment and let go of his plate. A gust of wind picked it up and flung it at me. I went home with gravy and potato grease spots all over my shirt.

Thanksgiving is the American holiday. We celebrate it in many ways. There is no right way. Although it’s a ton of work, I am looking forward to my more traditional one again. Indoors.

November Achievements

ACHIEVEMENTS

Attending the Mayor’s State of the City Address

pccmayor

Attending the Mayor’s State of the City Address were Parkland Chamber of Commerce members Golden Johansson, left, Simeon Brier, Hon. Micahel Udine, Evan Wolk, Will J. Lawler, Kim Kadel Jack Kornreich, Steven Clark, Andrea Jacobs, and Nicole Roman

.


Parkland Girl Wins Golf Tourney

kelly

Kelly Shanahan of Parkland won the Tour Championship for Girls 12-14 for the West Palm Beach local tour of US Kids. She will compete in the US Kids State and World Championships next summer in Orlando, and Pinehurst, NC. Kelly is a member of the North Broward Prep Varsity Girls Golf Team as a 7th grader. She will compete this winter at the Publix Doral Tournament in Doral, and in the IMG Junior Honda Classic Tournament at PGA National Golf Resort. Kelly’s dream is to play college golf for a division one school close to home.

 

 

 

 


Comeback Trail 5K rescheduled

Due to Hurricane Matthew, The National Stroke Association rescheduled the Fort Lauderdale Comeback Trail 5K walk/run at Huizenga Plaza to this month. For the new date, call 720-726-5441 or visit https://donate.stroke.org/fort-lauderdale/events/2016-comeback-trail-fort-lauderdale-fl/e67988.


 

November Announcements

ANNOUNCEMENTS

Early Voting in Parkland
The only early voting location in the City of Parkland is the P-REC in Pine Trails Park. For the General Election you will be voting for President, State- and County-level positions, and City of Parkland positions. General Election early voting is at the P-REC November 6th from 9am to 6pm. For information, visit: browardsoe.org.


Parkland Public WiFi Hotspotswifi

The City of Parkland has set-up WiFi hot spots in Pine Trails Park and Terramar Park to enable visitors to the parks the advantage of free Internet access. The hot spots are located in the center of the baseball wheel in both Pine Trails and Terramar parks, and atop the concession stands (in Pine Trails Park the concession stand nearest the baseball fields). The hotspots will be identified as “Parkland Public WiFi.” For more information, visit cityofparkland.org and facebook.com/copfl


Zika Virus Informationzapzika
The U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, the Florida Department of Health, and others are monitoring the Zika virus. For information on prevention and links to regularly updated sources, visit the Zika virus page at cityofparkland.org/zika or call 855-622-6735.


Volunteer Parkland
Earn volunteer hours by helping others, or helping the City of Parkland. Gardening, Parks and Recreation events, the Parkland Library, and community events and projects are among the volunteer opportunities available. For information and to apply online visit: cityofparkland.org/volunteer
or call 954-757-4145.


Coral Springs wins award for 37th time

The City of Coral Springs was awarded the Certificate of Achievement for Excellence in Financial Reporting by the Government Finance Officers Association of the United States and Canada for its comprehensive annual financial report. The certificate of achievement is the highest form of recognition in the area of governmental accounting and financial reporting, and its attainment represents a significant accomplishment by a government and its management. This is the 37th consecutive year that the City of Coral Springs has received this distinction.
Service fees go up at Mall

The Coral Springs City Hall in the Mall location has raised its service fees for fingerprinting, passport photos and notary public. Fingerprinting is $15 per card. These services are offered at City Hall in the Mall every Wednesday from noon to 6 p.m., customers must supply their own card. City Hall in the Mall does not offer these services for immigration, name changes, concealed weapons, or alcohol and tobacco licenses.

Additionally, passport photos are $12 for a set of two colored photos. For those needing a notary public, each signature block will be $10. No appointments are necessary for any passport services.

City Hall in the Mall is open Monday to Friday from 10 a.m. to 6 p.m. and Saturday from 10am to 4pm. The office is in Coral Square Mall, 9239 W. Atlantic Blvd.


OFF TO THE RACES

dog-sled

by Victoria Landis

Humans are competitive about everything, especially sports. We are also quite inventive. So when some of us are no longer willing or capable of exerting ourselves, we find surrogates to compete for us. Who, or what, are those surrogates? Well, in the ‘good’ old days, slaves and prisoners were fodder for such amusements. In modern times, forcing others to run, fight, or die for our entertainment pleasure is, apparently, frowned upon. Sigh. So what’s a rabidly competitive society full of obese couch potatoes supposed to do?

Entrance−stage right−our animal friends. Seems as though they’re game to do anything for us. Some actually know we’re using them to amuse ourselves. Dolphins and elephants come to mind. How about the penguins from Madagascar. But others are thrust into situations that have to be bewildering to them. It’s beyond bewildering to me.

LOUISVILLE, KY - MAY 04:  The field races down the front stretch during the 139th running of the Kentucky Derby at Churchill Downs on May 4, 2013 in Louisville, Kentucky.  (Photo by Andy Lyons/Getty Images)
LOUISVILLE, KY – MAY 04: The field races down the front stretch during the 139th running of the Kentucky Derby at Churchill Downs on May 4, 2013 in Louisville, Kentucky. (Photo by Andy Lyons/Getty Images)

Take, for example, the Crisfield Crab Races in Maryland. Officially called the Crisfield National Hard Crab Derby, it happens annually over Labor Day Weekend. So, sorry to say, if you’re just reading about it now in October, you’ve missed your chance. It’s a crab-themed festival with cooking, rides, crafts, fireworks, beauty queens, a parade, arm wrestling, and racing crabs. A much-needed aside here−somebody please clarify for me just what sort of young woman wants to wear the label Crab Queen? Or Queen of the Crabs? I think even the pushy mothers from Toddlers and Tiaras would have enough sense not to allow their daughters anywhere near such a moniker. That is a title that will follow you for the rest of your life. What if she decided to become an X-rated film star? Her chances would be torpedoed from the get-go.

Back to Crisfield’s celebration of the crustacean. As much as I studied the web page, I did not see colored racing stripes or painted flames of glory on their backs, only boring chalky white numbers. Not very exciting. Although it paints a picture in your head of crabs doing their darnedest to inch along a track, carefully staying in their designated lane, that isn’t at all what happens. The pictures I saw show a multi-lane board all right−but one end was hiked up to an almost 45 degree angle with little ‘starting gates’ at the top. Once the gates open, the crusty critters kind of slide, more than race, down. I for one, am outraged. The good folks in Crisfield could learn a thing or two by paying attention to the other absurd animal races.

There’s hamster racing−in little cars no less−in the UK. It started in 2001, when a hoof and mouth disease put the kibosh on some of England’s horse races. They keep world records and everything. (See? I told you we were inventive . . .) There’s even Professional Hamster Racing now, covered by BBC London, The Sun, and The Daily Mail. Bookmakers take bets on it.snails

There’s races for cows, cockroaches, rabbits, lizards, buffalo, ostriches, snails, sheep, cane toads, camels, and pigs. Yikes!

As much as I would like to enlighten you about all of these wonders, my space is limited. So I will wrap up with what seems to be the biggest misnomer here: Snail Races. The world championships are hosted by our buddies, the Brits. Placed in the center of a 14-inch circle, the first snail to touch the outer circle line wins. In what has to be the most sleep-inducing event in the sports universe, it takes the average snails almost four minutes. Ah, but a snail named Archie in 1995 won it in just two minutes. Those spectators, assuming they had plenty of time for a bathroom break, must have been majorly bummed at missing that finish.

THE PENGUINS OF MADAGASCAR

 

A HISTORY OF CELEBRATIONS

A HISTORY OF CELEBRATIONS

 by Rabbi Melissa Stollman, Congregation Kol Tikvah

isolated honey with apple for Rosh Hashanah

 

This year, at sundown on Sunday, October 2nd, marks the beginning of the first Jewish High Holy Day, Rosh Hashanah. Jews around the world mark the day by entering a synagogue to hear the shofar blast, as in the days of the ancient Temple in Jerusalem during biblical times. However, during ancient times this holy day did not mark the Jewish New Year, or literally “Head of the Year”, as it fell on the first day of the seventh month. Later this day became the beginning of the calendar year in Jewish tradition.

Shofar - a horn used in jewish holidays of Rosh Hashana and Yom Kippur.
Shofar – a horn used in jewish holidays of Rosh Hashana and Yom Kippur.

Jews around the world make it a priority to observe Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur. Worship services, grandiose in style, include a special musical motif, and the ritual of blowing of the shofar, or ram’s horn. The mitzvah, or commandment by God, is to hear the shofar blast on Rosh Hashanah. The shofar symbolizes the ram used during the sacrifice of Isaac listed in the Book of Genesis, and is said to be curved or bent to demonstrate Jews’ humility before God.

In addition to being known as Yom Teruah, The Day of the Blasts, Rosh Hashanah is known as Yom Hadin, the Day of Judgment, when all people appear before God. Many congregations during this time change their Torah scroll covers to white, and their clergy wear white robes. This comes from Isaiah 1:18: “Be your sins like crimson, they can turn white as snow.” Rosh Hashanah marks the first day of the 10 Days of Repentance culminating in Yom Kippur, the Day of Atonement. These holy days, and the intermittent ten days known as the “Days of Awe”, are the opportunity for Jews to apologize to one another for their misgivings, to forgive others for hurting them intentionally or unintentionally, and to ask forgiveness from God. While Jews can ask forgiveness at any time, this is the time to focus on this task in order to be inscribed for the coming year in the Book of Life. Jews reflect behavior from the past year, and this reflection focuses involves teshuvah, known as repentance, but literally means to return. However, repentance is not enough, one must seek reconciliation with those whom have been wronged during the past year. It is mitzvah, or good deed/commandment, to forgive those who have wronged us, and those who have asked for our forgiveness.

For on this day atonement shall be made for you to cleanse you of all your sins; you shall be clean before God. (Lev 16:30)

The complicated rituals and sacrifices led by the high priest, which took place on Yom Kippur in ancient times, have changed since the Temple’s destruction in Jerusalem. Now atonement is a more personal act of emotional purification through fasting, removing from our lives the wrongdoings we have made. The Torah commands Jews to practice self-denial on this day. The fast begins at sundown on the evening of, or Erev, Yom Kippur with the kindling of the Yom Kippur lights. While fasting, Jews focus their thoughts on the day and remove other distractions.

Yom Kippur is often seen as a somber day, but forgiving others and asking others to be forgiven is an important process. The day is long and tiring, but as the “Gates of Repentance” close at sunset Jews around the world celebrate this important moment with a Havdalah ritual to separate this holy and sacred time from one’s regular everyday life. The fast is broken with the final sounding of the shofar, and a joyous meal commences.

As Jews around the world approach the High Holy Days this year I want to wish you all a Shanah Tovah, a happy new year, and a G’mar Chatimah Tovah, may you be inscribed (in the Book of Life) for good.