Parkland Vice Mayor Bob Mayersohn

The month of March is usually the time when we think about springing
forward as daylight savings time commences giving us an extra hour of sunshine. Spring centers around “Spring Cleaning,” “Spring Break,” and the religious holidays of Passover and Easter, which symbolize hope and renewal.

This year, however, March will be different for all of us as it is marked by the anniversary of the first reported COVID-19 case in Florida. Some have called it the “COVID Crisis,” while others call it the “COVID Catalyst.” Whatever lens you look through, the impacts of the virus have been devastating on the health and well-being of our families, our educational system, and our local economy. Yet, we need to be thankful and applaud the painstaking efforts of our frontline health care workers, first responders, educational professionals, and all those essential workers who were and still are critical to help us adapt to mitigate the crisis and create innovative opportunities.

As we strive for “herd immunity,” the work to distribute and administer the vaccines is an indication of hope. Yet, we still must be vigilant in preventing the spread by wearing our masks, social distancing, and washing our hands. For COVID-19 updates and resources, please visit our website at https://www.cityofparkland.org/coronavirus.

On a positive note, this month we are bringing back some of our extremely popular events such as Eats n’ Beats on March 13th and Movies in the Park on March 26th. We still have our incredible Farmers’ Market on March 7th, which will showcase our community awareness and business expo. On March 21st we include our health and wellness vendors.

Not to go unnoticed, March is also Women’s History Month. This is a time we reflect on the often-overlooked contribution of women to United States History and the City of Parkland.

Our City Commission meetings this month will be on Wednesday, March 3rd and March 17th starting at 7pm. You can see our agendas at https://www.cityofparkland.org/cc. and watch our meetings livestream at https://www.cityofparkland. org/1304/Live-City-Commission-Meetings.

Finally, I want to thank Mayor Walker for passing the pen to provide me the opportunity to be a guest contributor this month. Thank you, Mayor.

Local funeral directors shoulder COVID pandemic

With the COVID-19 pandemic putting stress on healthcare workers and first responders (not to mention the rest of us) what is it doing to local funeral homes and the people who staff them?

Deaths due to COVID in the first five months of the pandemic raised total deaths between 25 percent to 27 percent in Broward and Palm Beach counties.

Between March 15 and August 15, Broward County recorded 1,638 deaths due to COVID-19. In Palm Beach County, numbers were similar, with 1,671 deaths. A five-month average for Palm Beach County, pre-COVID, is 6,182; for Broward, 6,361, according to state statistics.

Those aren’t complete figures, explains the Palm Beach County Medical Examiner’s office, because tracking COVID deaths after August 15 was taken away from coroners offices.

Thomas Wojciechowski, location manager at Babione Funeral Home in Boca Raton, which services all faiths, including Catholics, Protestants and some non-Orthodox Jewish families, says during these trying times, they have found ways to accommodate their clients.

“It’s a unique and challenging time,” says Wojciechowski, emphasizing that they follow all CDC guidelines, including social distancing, sanitizing, allowing only 10 attendees in the chapel at one time, and utilizing Zoom for inclusive ceremonies.

Luckily, Wojciechowski says, they didn’t experience much of an increase in deaths over the previous non-COVID year, partially because Palm Beach County wasn’t as hard hit as other counties, such as Miami-Dade.

Babione offers a “remember when” Zoom panel where people can comment in real-time, share photos, and connect with other grieving friends and family.

“People are lonely and alone,” Wojciechowski says. “We make every effort to include everyone who wants to participate.” Currently, they are planning larger-scale remembrances six months down the line, waiting for more conducive times. “Families find comfort in knowing they can come together in the near future.”

Babione and Wojciechowski were lucky that they experienced no shortages of supplies and Wojciechowski is heartened that his staff and community have come together.

“People are going the extra mile,” he says. “It restores your hope in people.”

On a personal level, he says some days are more trying than others and he turns to both his daughter and his dog for comfort. Additionally, he says, “I find comfort knowing I’m helping families remember their loved ones and celebrating their lives.”

With a large elderly population of Jewish seniors in Boca Raton, many of whom have ties to hard-hit New York, the Jewish funeral homes worked long and hard in the beginning of March.

Steven Kanowitz, 78, the funeral director at Gutterman’s, which has locations in Boca Raton and Long Island, NY, was in the thick of the pandemic. His staff worked from 7:30 am-12 midnight from March through July. “They got up in the dark and went home in the dark,” he said. “It was the toughest time we ever had.”

“The pandemic is a total heartbreak both for families and for our staff,” says  Kanowitz, who has been in the business for 60 years. “It’s always on my mind.”

He noted that many casket companies were stressed for inventory, and flight delays and cancelations had a big impact on the transport of bodies from Florida to New York.

“I had to stay in constant contact with families to make sure their loved ones arrived safely,” he remembers.

Kanowitz, who describes himself as a happy person in a sad business, said he has empathy for people who’ve lost their loved ones.

“You need to be sensitive and put yourself in other people’s shoes,” he says.

Not a stranger to disasters, Kanowitz worked with many families in New York after Sept. 11 and knew 22 people personally that he had to bury.

“But,” he says, “You can’t compare; the COVID-19 pandemic is the toughest time we’ve seen.”

Keith Kronish of Kronish Funeral Services adjacent to Century Village in Boca Raton had a similar experience.

As a designated essential worker, Kronish never shut down and worked from home. Following CDC guidelines and those of the National Funeral Directors Association (NFDA), Kronish says funeral directors were quietly and respectfully taking care of their communities and doing everything they could.

“We worked around the clock, not by the clock,” he says.

He characterizes the difference between the virus’s impact in New York and Florida as the outbreak in New York was more acute, while the outbreak in Florida was more chronic. In New York, cemeteries, which usually accommodate six to eight burials a day had to do as many as 20.

“There’s not enough days in the week to accommodate all these burials,” Kronish says.

In some respects he said the virus has been an equalizer.

People of means who may have wanted to hire a private plane to fly their loved one home found that private planes didn’t accommodate caskets.

He recounts a sad story from one of the worst months of the outbreak. A traditionally observant family whose loved one died from the virus, had only the rabbi, the wife, and one of the three children at the gravesite service.

The other two children stayed in the car and in normal times, as many as 400 to 500 people could have been in attendance.

Despite the traditional Jewish prohibition of open caskets, Kronish said many families were comforted to view their loved ones in the casket for a last viewing.

“They want to know their loved one is at peace,” he
said.

Usually in Jewish tradition, there is a quick turnaround from the time of death to the time of burial, which was delayed by the circumstances, says Kronish.

Also, the traditional 7-day mourning period in Jewish tradition, known as the shivah, was canceled.

“Emotionally, this was very difficult for many families,” said Kronish.

“But, we adapted quickly,” he says. “We got very proficient on Zoom, our phones, and iPads and ordered enhanced camera and sound capabilities so that people in multiple states could participate in the services.”

On the other hand, Mike Sirowitz, director of the Beth-El Mausoleum in Boca Raton (the only mausoleum on the grounds of a synagogue in North America), said he has not seen a major increase in need over the past eight to nine months.

He estimates he’s had eight burials due to the virus.

However, like Wojciechowski at Babione, he says his numbers may not be a fair representation of the number of deaths, as the virus has hit harder in communities of color and lower socio-economic status.

He also notes that there was a parallel decrease in other causes of deaths, such as accidents (including car accidents) or heart attacks from playing sports, as people stayed home.

One change Sirowitz has seen is a 30 percent to 40 percent increase in pre-need sales. Usually, he says people are reluctant to prepare for this eventuality, but COVID-19 has brought the issue to the forefront.

“COVID-19 is a wake-up call for many and has created a sense of urgency,” he says.

With a vaccine on the horizon, things are looking up and spring offers new possibilities of hope.

“I don’t know when we will be through this, but I know we will come through it OK,” Wojciechowski says.

“People are feeling lonely and isolated in these trying times,” he says. “You can’t put a price on how much a hug means to someone when they’re grieving,” he says.

“I wish I could hug and console my clients,” says Wojciechowski. “I miss that and am looking forward to when I can hug them again.”

Ask Dr. Renae: Making virtual friends

Dear Dr. Renae,

I had been looking forward to beginning high school since the beginning of middle school so I could join clubs and try out for sports teams to make friends. I had to separate from my middle school friends since they were not into academics, but getting into trouble and getting high all the time. I have been waiting so long to make new friends and now it seems so difficult remotely. I am shy and do not feel confident with the way I look, especially
online. How can I make friends virtually when it feels awkward to make the first step to reach out to someone?

Shy 9th Grader

Dear Shy 9th Grader,

A huge positive in meeting people remotely is that it gives you a chance to be more authentic and versatile. You can be yourself and broadcast that person. Realistically, there are many in the same space you’re in, looking for friends but not knowing where to start. It can be difficult having a rewarding experience if you aren’t gregarious. The wonderful thing about entering high school, especially in this time period, is that everything is so brand new. Perhaps start small. Make a post about the clubs you want to join or start. If you’re active on social media, see if there’s a “class” page. It usually conveys events that each class can partake in, remotely or in person. I imagine it would look rather different this year but exciting, nonetheless. The key to success is confidence. Sports is also a great bonding topic. I’m sure you’ll make friends in no time. Hope this helps.

Your Friend

Dear Shy 9th Grader,

I understand the difficulties and initial fear of making friends, for I have been in your position as well. The easiest way I was able to make friends is by finding a common interest. For example, if you like to play video games or are interested in a particular show or book, it is easy to find people on the internet who are interested in the same things as you. It may be daunting to make the first move, but easy conversation starters can include “Hi I saw you like (insert show/book/video game/etc.), who is your favorite character?” or “Hi I recently got into (insert show/book/video game/etc.) can you help me find more content from them?” An added bonus of the internet is anonymity, so if you feel uncomfortable you do not need to disclose personal information about yourself until you feel comfortable with the person. Of course, please be cautious on the internet by not exposing where you live or other personal information. Trusting your instincts, you can make great virtual friends. Try finding a club at school and talking with the club members about common interests and how to get involved with the club. I wish you good luck on your endeavors.

Your Fellow Teen

Dear Shy 9th Grader,

Making friends is difficult, however, the new obstacle of online learning should not discourage you. I would suggest looking into the clubs at your school and attending one of their virtual meetings. From there, you will find people who have attended the meetings and you can then begin to follow them on Instagram. If they’re new like you, you should have a nice starting off point on what you can talk about. Send them a direct message and say how you’re new to the school and how they seem like a nice person and you wanted to get to know them. If they’re a considerate person they will message you back and you’ll be on your way to a new friend! If they don’t message you back, just move on to someone else. It’s all about having enough confidence to get past the first steps. Good luck and I hope you find some great people!

High School Senior

Dear Shy 9th Grader,

I totally feel for you. I remember how excited I was to make new friends in high school and start fresh. The pandemic has caused such a big obstacle when it comes to human contact, but it’s not impossible to make new friends. In my high school, clubs are still meeting virtually which is a nice way you can connect with new people, especially if it’s a club you have a deep interest in. It really comes down to looking at the clubs that your school provides and picking one you really enjoy. It’s also important to keep in mind that all 9th graders are in the same boat as you are and the chances that they’re feeling the same way as you are pretty high. So, don’t psych yourself out too much about approaching people because they most likely also want to make new friends and don’t know how. Wishing you the best of luck.

A High School Senior

Dear Shy 9th Grader,

I want to commend you for having the strength and foresight to separate from your old Middle School friends before making new friends. That takes a lot of courage and confidence! In addition, looking forward to making new friends puts you in a positive place of hopefulness. Courage, confidence and hopefulness is a great formula to begin your journey of finding new friends. You already have the ability and insight to be selective of friends who share your values. Identifying friends who share your passions and interests will follow naturally as you explore clubs at school. Perspective new friends will appreciate you making the first contact as they too might feel shy. You will be part of the first wave of teens to make treasured new friends while social distancing, so you can consider yourself a pioneer.

Dr. Renae

TEENS: Curious as to what other teens would say? If you have a
question or problem you would like to present to other teens, please email: askdrrenae@att.net and include your age, grade, and gender you identify with. All questions are published anonymously and your identity and contact information will be kept confidential.

PARENTS OF TEENS: Would you like to anonymously and confidentially ask the panel of teen Peer Counseling Writers to comment on a parenting issue you are struggling with? If you are ready for a variety of honest opinions from real teens, please address your questions to askdrrenae@att.net.

Dr. Renae Lapin, a licensed marriage and family therapist with 40 years experience, currently maintains a private practice in Boca Raton, Florida. For more information about Dr. Renae and her practice, visit her website:
https://askdrrenae.com

The holidays during COVID

 

Rabbi Stollman

Approaching the 9th month of the pandemic, we are faced with the challenge, yet again, of how to celebrate a holiday during a time of isolation and separation.

As many families cancelled their annual Thanksgiving dinners with  relatives in order to remain safe, we continue to experience the ongoing sense of loss and grief. I am not sure we will ever get to a stage of acceptance.

Hanukkah, known as the Festival of Lights, runs from December 10 through December 18. How can it help illuminate a dark and sad time for us? Originally intended to be a private celebration at home, hanukkiyahs, or menorahs, are displayed in the window for the passerby to enjoy. This year, they will continue to light the darkness, even if no one is on the street to see it. As the light grows with each night of the eight-branched candelabrum, we hope to bring more light into our world. The light commemorates the legend of the single cruse of oil that lasted eight nights. We traditionally eat foods fried in oil such as latkes, potato pancakes, or sufganiyot, jelly donuts. Due to the influence of other December holidays, it has also become the main gift- giving holiday for Jews in North America.

Most people do not know this, but because Hanukkah does not originate in the Bible, it is considered a minor festival. While Jews often gather for parties and public candle lightings, it is perfectly acceptable (although maybe not preferable) to celebrate with those only in your household. If not, virtual gatherings may be an option as well, or following CDC guidelines for celebrating outdoors.

The word Hanukkah comes from the Hebrew word for dedication, and it is derived from the Maccabees’ rededication of the Holy Temple in Jerusalem. While we are not celebrating as we might have in the past, we can rededicate ourselves to what is most important. The moral of the Hanukkah story in the ancient texts reminds us that “Not by might, nor by power, but by My spirit says the Lord of Hosts” (Zech 4:6). Faith and hope can be more useful than strength sometimes.

I encourage you to see this holiday as an opportunity to help bring light into the world– from donating money or gifts to charitable organizations, called tzedakah. While we may feel physically restricted this year, we are still blessed with our religious freedoms to celebrate and many of us have the means to help others.

Let us remember the importance of the blessings we say on the fi rst night as we light the lone candle. In addition to thanking God for enabling us to fulfi ll the mitzvah or commandment of kindling the holiday lights, we thank God for helping us reach this season, and the great miracle that took place for our ancestors. No matter what we face in the world right now, we still can thank God for what we have, including the blessing of each new day and the hope for a brighter tomorrow.

Pastor Andy Hagen

The people walking in darkness have seen a great light; on those living in the land of deep darkness a light has dawned. Isaiah 9:2 We have been walking through a unique kind of darkness these past eight months. Without warning, we were plunged into darkness when the COVID pandemic arrived. In this darkness, we experienced fear of contracting the illness, worry, and grief for those affected, anxiety due to a shaken economy, tension over increased political division, and confusion over safe practices. The greatest darkness may well be a sense of isolation from each other.

The blessing of belonging to a community of faith is that our members have had many opportunities to “walk in the light” together. Our Bible studies and small groups have continued to meet through the blessing of Zoom and in person when safe. I’ll never forget the smiles of joy the first time some of our seniors figured out how to join us online! Safely distanced, we’ve been able to worship together since May. It is a strange thing as a pastor to preach to a room of bank robbers! One woman shared with me that her church is the only thing that has kept her from loneliness and despair. “How are those who don’t have a church getting through?” she wondered. Not well, I fear, for the darkness is deep.

My family has also been looking forward to the ray of light expected with our first grandchild’s arrival in January. Our weeks and months have been filled with the same kind of excitement and anticipation that inspired Isaiah to share words of hope to those people walking in darkness- “For to us a child is born, a son is given.” Isaiah 9:6 May such joy dawn on us all.