With COVID still raging, what has been called “the most wonderful time of the year” might not seem quite so wonderful this holiday season.
In fact, for some, it might feel downright depressing.
But there are steps we can take to adapt during these unique times to make the holidays and the new year as happy and fulfilling as possible.
Acceptance
“Accept that things are going to look a little diff erent this year,” says Dr. Amy Bravo, PsyD, a psychologist in private practice in Weston.
“There may be parts of this holiday season that are not our preferred ways of doing things, that are disappointing or upsetting. We have to allow ourselves to accept that and to feel that,” she advises.
Boundaries
Decide what social interactions and parameters you are comfortable with given COVID, and set those boundaries.
Are you okay with in-person get-togethers? Indoors or outdoors?
What size group? Will you be socially distanced?
Have the others who will be in attendance been quarantining? Will people be wearing masks? Where have the other attendees traveled from and what was their mode of transportation?
Will attendees have recently taken a COVID test? Do you have family members who might be more vulnerable to COVID?
These are some of the considerations to think about as you set boundaries that you are comfortable with and that make you feel safe.
Communicate
Inevitably, not everyone is going to agree with your boundaries, but they should be respectful of yours and vice versa.
“What families want to be careful and mindful about is judgment of other peoples’ difference of opinion,” says Dr. Bravo.
“Accept that not every member of your family or your circle of friends is going to see things the same way.”
Understandably, it can be difficult and hurtful to disappoint friends and relatives when your COVID boundaries and theirs conflict and you or they feel the need to decline an invitation.
If you are the one declining the invitation, assure them that it’s not personal, (and don’t take it personally if they are unable to accept your invitation).
Convey that you would love to get together but under these circumstances you need to choose what is best for you and makes you feel safe, and that you are really looking forward to a time soon when you can get together again.
Be creative
Once you have accepted that the holidays are different this year and know your boundaries, focus on creative options that will make the holiday special.
Maybe it doesn’t work to get together with out-of-town family, but there are local friends with whom you see eye-to-eye.
Is there a way of incorporating family traditions and get togethers in new ways? Perhaps it’s an outdoor visit or with a smaller group.
Maybe you can get together via Zoom, FaceTime, or Skype, where grandparents can read Christmas stories or light Hanukkah candles with their grandchildren remotely, watch each other open gifts, or eat a meal together but in separate locations.
In other words, while you may be apart from family and friends, you still can be a part of family and friends’ holiday celebrations.
COVID has made this a difficult year, even more so for those who have lost loved ones or suffered and recovered from the virus.
It’s understandable to be sad because your world has shrunk in some ways.
“Through this year, there’s been a lot of downtime. And when there’s a lot of downtime, there’s time to get in your head. And that’s not usually positive,” says Dr. Irene LeBlanc, PhD, LMCH, a mental health counselor with Psychological Associates in Coral Springs and Boca Raton.
But as we look forward to the holidays and the New Year, we can view this COVID-induced downtime as an opportunity for growth.
“We’re social beings, we’re meant to have relationships and interact with people. That keeps morale up and lifts us emotionally. We’re not meant to isolate,” says Dr. LeBlanc.
Dr. Amy Bravo contact info is: amybravopsyd.com, 954-385-8884
Dr. Irene LeBlanc contact info is: Berlinmentalhealth.com, 985-974-8423