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February 19, 2021January 22, 2021

Ask Dr. Renae: Teen protecting endangered family member is not alone

Dear Dr. Renae,

A member of my immediate family living in my home has a medical condition which makes them immune compromised. Out of love, respect and fear for their safety, I have limited my social interactions. My friends understood at first but have begun subtly pressuring me to go out. I feel very left out, and it really makes it so much harder since I am missing out on so much. I am also worried about infecting my family member, so I have not even been attending school in person. I feel isolated and may be becoming depressed. I just want my friends to understand.

Alone at 17

Dear Alone at 17,

Your concern for your family is very honorable. You’ve made the right decision by staying home to keep your family safe. I would suggest talking to your friends and explaining to them how you feel and why you don’t want to go out. I would hope that your friends are mature enough to realize that you are making the right choice in staying home. After that I would suggest just talking to them over the phone or having zoom nights together. There’s a lot of online games that you and your friends can play together, or you can just relax and talk to each other. Remember that you can always have fun even if you’re not physically together. I wish you the best of luck.

High School Senior

Dear Alone at 17,

You are not alone!! There are so many people who are going through the exact same thing as you. I think that you are being very responsible and caring, and I’m sure your friends will see that! I suggest finding a group of people to have nightly zoom calls with and plan fun things to do together on the phone. Another example is to ask your friends to have a socially distant lunch!! I for one have been extremely cautious during COVID like you and one thing I have done to see my friends is having a socially distant lunch or hangout! You pick an outdoors area and go separately with your own blanket and sit apart in a huge circle… lots of feet apart! During these trying times, it is definitely important to find people that can support you on your off days. I hope you are doing well.

A Caring Friend

Dear Alone at 17,

I have people around me who also pressure me to go out, so I completely understand where you are coming from. I found the best way to remedy the situation is with communication. It may help to communicate with your friends through a video chat or voice call about your experience with the pandemic and how you feel left out. It would also be helpful to come up with some stay-at-home events your friends can do together. I suggest game nights, powerpoint nights, or just chatting on the phone. I hope you don’t feel so alone in the future.

Your Fellow Teen

Dear Alone at 17,

It is inconceivable to be robbed of your much anticipated social year and normal for you to feel a loss. Your love and respect for your family is admirable especially for a teen. You sound like you are comfortable with your decision, an important predictor for your ability to make future difficult decisions. Friends who acknowledge and respect your choice will likely stand out head and shoulders above those friends who do not understand. Focusing your attention on these true friends will likely bring you more comfort than focusing attention on those who regrettably surprised you with their lack of support. True friends will find creative ways to remain connected to you, especially now when you need your friends more than ever. In addition, when you are able to finally socialize in person, it will be helpful to know who your true friends are so you can count on them in the future.

Dr. Renae

TEENS: Curious as to what other teens would say? If you have a question or problem you would like to present to other teens, please email: askdrrenae@att.net and include your age, grade, and gender you identify with. All questions are published anonymously and your identity and contact information will be kept confidential.

PARENTS OF TEENS: Would you like to anonymously and confidentially ask the panel of teen Peer Counseling Writers to comment on a parenting issue you are struggling with? If you are ready for a variety of honest opinions from real teens, please address your questions to askdrrenae@att.net.

Dr. Renae Lapin, a licensed marriage and family therapist with 40 years experience, currently maintains a private practice in Boca Raton, Florida. For more information about Dr. Renae and her practice, visit her website: https://askdrrenae.com

January 1, 2021January 6, 2021

Congressman Ted Deutch (D-FL, 22nd District)

Dear Friends!

As we begin the new year and the 117th Congress, I am excited to continue working on behalf of Florida’s 22nd congressional district.

Last year, we were presented with many new challenges. The COVID-19 pandemic has taken so much from Floridians and continues to disrupt our lives. Our communities need urgent assistance to help get them back on their feet. In Congress, I will continue to support legislation that will facilitate recovery efforts throughout South Florida.

With the COVID-19 vaccine distribution beginning across the nation, many of us are hopeful that we can return to a sense of normalcy soon. However, until the vaccine is made accessible to everyone, it is important to continue to follow CDC guidelines to ensure your safety. For recent updates on the virus, please visit CDC.gov.

One in twenty seniors in the U.S. is a target of fraud schemes, costing them at least $36.5 billion per year. Yet, the National Adult Protective Services Association has found that only 1 in 44 seniors actually report that they are victims of a fraud scheme. Recently the House passed my bill, the Seniors Fraud Prevention Act, that would help protect seniors and their families from becoming the victims of fraudulent schemes designed to steal their assets. I was proud to work with Rep. Buchanan, Rep. Peter Welch, Senator Klobuchar, and Senator Collins to introduce this legislation that would create an office within the Federal Trade Commission charged with tracking scams, educating and alerting seniors to new scams, and establishing a more effective complaint system to ensure reports of fraud are quickly addressed by the appropriate law enforcement agency.

Please continue to practice social distancing and wear a mask when in public. Stay safe and have a happy new year!

December 9, 2020December 2, 2020

Congressman Ted Deutch (D-FL, 22nd District)

Dear Friends!

This year, our community has faced tremendous challenges. The COVID-19 pandemic has taken the lives of loved ones far too soon and placed millions of families into economic hardship. Many celebrations, traditions, and even daily activities have been put on hold as we isolated ourselves to keep each other safe from harm. As we all hope to return to a sense of normalcy, we must continue to follow social distancing guidelines as we try to heal from the pandemic. Although this year has been difficult for us all, our community has shown incredible strength. Throughout the past few months, we have seen heroes emerge to keep us safe, healthy, and thriving. But our work is not over. As public health experts warn of a COVID-19 resurgence, we must all continue to do our part to keep each other safe. In Congress, I will keep fighting to get Floridians the help they need to get back on their feet.

Recently, I joined Rep. Debbie Mucarsel-Powell and Rep. Kathy Castor to release a climate report prepared by the House Oversight Committee outlining the health benefits for the state of Florida if the United States meets the goals of the Paris Agreement. The report outlines that in Florida alone, meeting the goals of the Paris Agreement could prevent 101,000 deaths and 40,000 emergency room visits and hospitalizations for cardiovascular and respiratory disease over the next 50 years. The state would avoid more than 23 million lost workdays. Collectively, avoiding these health issues would save Florida over $750 billion. I wish you and your family a safe and happy new year and encourage you to visit CDC.gov for current social distancing guidelines. As always, please feel free to reach out to our office if we can be of assistance.

December 9, 2020December 2, 2020

The holidays during COVID

Approaching the 9th month of the pandemic, we are faced with the challenge, yet again, of how to celebrate a holiday during a time of isolation and separation.

As many families cancelled their annual Thanksgiving dinners with relatives in order to remain safe, we continue to experience the ongoing sense of loss and grief. I am not sure we will ever get to a stage of acceptance.

Hanukkah, known as the Festival of Lights, runs from December 10 through December 18. How can it help illuminate a dark and sad time for us? Originally intended to be a private celebration at home, hanukkiyahs, or menorahs, are displayed in the window for the passerby to enjoy. This year, they will continue to light the darkness, even if no one is on the street to see it. As the light grows with each night of the eight-branched candelabrum, we hope to bring more light into our world. The light commemorates the legend of the single cruse of oil that lasted eight nights. We traditionally eat foods fried in oil such as latkes, potato pancakes, or sufganiyot, jelly donuts. Due to the influence of other December holidays, it has also become the main gift- giving holiday for Jews in North America.

Most people do not know this, but because Hanukkah does not originate in the Bible, it is considered a minor festival. While Jews often gather for parties and public candle lightings, it is perfectly acceptable (although maybe not preferable) to celebrate with those only in your household. If not, virtual gatherings may be an option as well, or following CDC guidelines for celebrating outdoors.

The word Hanukkah comes from the Hebrew word for dedication, and it is derived from the Maccabees’ rededication of the Holy Temple in Jerusalem. While we are not celebrating as we might have in the past, we can rededicate ourselves to what is most important. The moral of the Hanukkah story in the ancient texts reminds us that “Not by might, nor by power, but by My spirit says the Lord of Hosts” (Zech 4:6). Faith and hope can be more useful than strength sometimes.

I encourage you to see this holiday as an opportunity to help bring light into the world– from donating money or gifts to charitable organizations, called tzedakah. While we may feel physically restricted this year, we are still blessed with our religious freedoms to celebrate and many of us have the means to help others.

Let us remember the importance of the blessings we say on the fi rst night as we light the lone candle. In addition to thanking God for enabling us to fulfi ll the mitzvah or commandment of kindling the holiday lights, we thank God for helping us reach this season, and the great miracle that took place for our ancestors. No matter what we face in the world right now, we still can thank God for what we have, including the blessing of each new day and the hope for a brighter tomorrow.

The people walking in darkness have seen a great light; on those living in the land of deep darkness a light has dawned. Isaiah 9:2 We have been walking through a unique kind of darkness these past eight months. Without warning, we were plunged into darkness when the COVID pandemic arrived. In this darkness, we experienced fear of contracting the illness, worry, and grief for those affected, anxiety due to a shaken economy, tension over increased political division, and confusion over safe practices. The greatest darkness may well be a sense of isolation from each other.

The blessing of belonging to a community of faith is that our members have had many opportunities to “walk in the light” together. Our Bible studies and small groups have continued to meet through the blessing of Zoom and in person when safe. I’ll never forget the smiles of joy the first time some of our seniors figured out how to join us online! Safely distanced, we’ve been able to worship together since May. It is a strange thing as a pastor to preach to a room of bank robbers! One woman shared with me that her church is the only thing that has kept her from loneliness and despair. “How are those who don’t have a church getting through?” she wondered. Not well, I fear, for the darkness is deep.

My family has also been looking forward to the ray of light expected with our first grandchild’s arrival in January. Our weeks and months have been filled with the same kind of excitement and anticipation that inspired Isaiah to share words of hope to those people walking in darkness- “For to us a child is born, a son is given.” Isaiah 9:6 May such joy dawn on us all.