Dear Dr. Renae,
I am very nervous and uncomfortable to ask my teachers questions about a grade or an assignment. They always seem so busy and stressed out. I feel like I am bothering them and they do not have the time for me. Sometimes when I hand in an assignment, it does not get posted on my grades. I can tell my parents are not sure whether to believe me that I completed it and handed it in. When I am absent I feel too anxious to approach my teachers about making up a test or a lab and I wind up with a zero. My grades are lower than they should be, but how can I approach my teachers without getting them angry and upsetting them?
Fearful Freshman
Dear Fearful Freshmen,
Boy do I understand your predicament. Let me be blunt: you won’t be bothering your teachers if you ask them anything. In fact, your teachers would probably be overjoyed if you ask them a question. It’s their job to help you, and yes, while you don’t want to add to their workload, a simple question and a reminder would help. I’m the same way, so just swallow the weird, guilty feeling and ask. Your grades shouldn’t suffer due to fear of teachers. Being a freshman is very tough, but hurdles like these help us grow. Trust me, I’ve been in your shoes before, just speak out.
A Sympathetic Friend
Dear Fearful Freshman:
As a first year high school student you might feel like a small fish in a big pond and it’s easy to get overwhelmed. However, you should know that even though your teachers might be busy, they are also working hard to make sure their students benefit from their class. You should take the time to explain why you are anxious and ask about your assignments and the zeroes reflected in your grades. This will help open communication between you and your teachers. In doing so, it will make it easier for you to talk to them when a problem does come up and reassure your parents you are doing the work required of you.
Your friend
Dear Fearful Freshman,
There is nothing to be afraid of. Teachers are there for you to ask questions. They love when students are involved. Don’t let your grades suffer because of how anxious you get. It will only make the teachers assume you don’t care about your grades. Your teachers are there to help you. They are often stressed and busy, but they always have time for their students and will never get mad at a student who cares. It may help to tell your parents about this. They could set up a conference for you, your parents, and your teachers to talk and explain your situation and feelings and then you may feel more comfortable.
A Fellow High Schooler
Dear Fearful Freshman,
Although teachers are busy, they devote their time to being at school and to help students. Teachers encourage feedback and communication from their students. A suggestion for you is to find out if your teachers have after school hours. This way you can spend one-on-one time with your teacher, which may make you feel more comfortable discussing the anxieties you feel. You should also have a heart-to-heart talk with your parents because there must be a reason your parents don’t trust you handed in your assignment and you believe they doubt you. Communication is important especially when you are feeling so misunderstood. Just remember that your teachers are here to help you anytime and want to see you succeed in school and life.
A Friend Who Cares
Dear Fearful Freshman,
Here’s the truth about teachers: They’re also human beings. Sometimes they may seem frustrated or annoyed, but they have good and bad days, just like the rest of us. However, that doesn’t mean that they’re not open to assisting you and helping you succeed. My suggestion would be to work on your fear and try to approach your teachers if you need their help. Make sure that you go to them at a proper time (not during class, for example). Even if you do approach them during lunch or another break, be sure to ask, “Is now a good time to talk?” If you teacher is busy, they’ll give you a better time to speak to them, then you will have their undivided attention.
A Caring Teen
Dear Fearful Freshman,
Do not be nervous to ask your teachers about your grades and assignments. Now, I know it’s easier said than done. Something you need to realize is that it’s your teachers job is to grade and handle your assignments. Sometimes they are busy and stressed. It’s a false mentality that you are having of bothering them. I recommend you to talk to them and fix your grades if they are lower than they should be. Change your mind-set and talk to them. Your teachers will most likely appreciate it, viewing you as responsible. You can’t go wrong with that – good luck.
A Friend Who Knows Where You Are Coming From
Dear Fearful Freshman,
Your teachers would feel bad to know that you were uncomfortable approaching them. You are observant to notice that some of your teachers are overwhelmed with their job. I recommend that you take the following steps: first, do your homework and research your school district policy about handing in late work when you are absent excused and unexcused. Next, review the syllabus your teacher handed out at the beginning of the school year which details grading and classroom rules and policies. Finally, contact your teacher in their preferred method of communication: in person, email, after class or their office hours. If you do not know their preferred method of communication, ask. Simply approach your teacher and say: “when is a good time to talk with you?” Teachers love to have students ask questions and express interest in their grades. You will find them very responsive if you chose the right time.
Dr. Renae