The most common question I have been asked during the past several months is, “Are you seeing an uptick in divorces as a result of the Coronavirus?”
The answer is yes.
Although there are many reasons besides COVID-19 for this uptick in filings, my firm attributes the financial stress, the quarantine of the people to their homes, and the uncertainty of the future as the catalysts for the rise in divorce filings.
Humans can only handle so much stress and uncertainty before it affects their mental health and personalities. The “new-normal of quarantine” now includes varying amounts of financial worries, job security, boredom, inability to escape, lack of intimacy, stress over home-schooling, stress over social-distancing, etc. There also appears to be no end in sight.
People are depressed and are realizing that life is short. Husbands and wives are spending hours each day scrolling through Facebook and Instagram and re-evaluating their past life choices. If they are not happy in any facet of their
life (including their marriage), they are choosing to throw in their cards and
go to another table. Some people are blaming their marital issues on the
pandemic to make it easier to explain to friends and family why they are seeking a divorce.
Try to remember back to your pre-pandemic routine. After accounting for work, gym, kids’ activities, Publix, driving to and from various other activities, you spent a couple of hours a day with your spouse, at most, excluding the time you both are sleeping. Now you’re Bill Murray in Groundhog’s Day, spending 24/7 with your spouse. You have nothing to dilute your time. There is no outlet. There is no place to hide (work, bar, or gym). There is no one to vent to outside of your spouse. There are only so many times you can watch The Office or bike ride around the neighborhood before you crave additional socialization.
If a couple is having trouble, most of their interactions will now be neutral or negative. Patience is short and tensions are high. Like Jerry Seinfeld or Elaine Benes, if your spouse eats their peas one at a time, likes a cotton Dockers commercial, or uses too many exclamation points, it may now be a reason for a fight. If your relationship was already shaky, the quarantine has put lighter fluid on the coals that were already burning.
Spouses also have to contend with disputes over social distancing and parenting styles. As people are working from home, they can now observe how their spouse interacts with their children during the day. Spouses are concerned over their partner’s parenting and discipline style and are criticizing
how their spouse spends their time and questions their judgment.
This list goes on and on … we have heard some divorce consults complain that they believe their spouse is irresponsible for not social distancing and/or wearing a mask, in disagreement whether to send their children to school or embarrassed that their spouse refuses to pay for private school.
The stress is piling up!
Oh, and by the way, the country is dealing with a divisive presidential race — always a fun topic to discuss when you’re already on edge.
Hopefully, the numbers in South Florida will become softer so people can start
the road back to normalcy and reduce their stress levels. If not, divorces may
continue to rise.
By Philip Snyder, Esq.