Category: Health & Wellness

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Ask Dr. Renae: True friends will try their best.

Dear Dr. Renae,

My father has been arrested and charged for a financial crime. The whole legal process will take a long time and he might wind up serving
time in jail. There have been ongoing news reports and social media discussions about the circumstances. My parents share with me what is important for me to know and have encouraged me to focus on my own day to day life. I have always been a private person and do not want to discuss this with anyone, including my close friends. I feel like there is an awkward distance between me and my friends. I know they care about me and are worried for my family. Even if I avoid saying anything, it feels like it is a cloud just hanging there. How can I let them know I appreciate their concern and that I just want to hang out?

Anonymous from Any City

Dear Anonymous from Any City,

I understand the fear of not wanting to share personal information with your friends, but if you want to close the awkwardness between your friends, you have to share some information about your life. You do not have to be specific about the situation – just enough that you are willing to share. After you explain the circumstances you can reassure them that they shouldn’t worry and that you just want to hang out without the seriousness of the issue pressing on you. If they are your true friends, they will understand your decision and respect your choices. Having friends to lean on in tough times always helps the situation become easier. All the best to you.

Your Fellow Teen

Dear Anonymous from Any City,

Your friends first instincts are always going to be to help you. It’s amazing most of the time, but you’d rather not talk about what you’re going through which is completely fine. I’d suggest that you talk to your friends openly. Tell them that you appreciate them since they want to help, but you’d rather hang out and have fun because that’s what will help you right now. Your friends care a lot about you so you need to be open with them so they know you’re okay. Keep in contact with them and if you ever want to talk about it with them, you should.

High School Junior

Dear Anonymous from Any City,

You do not need to inform your friends about your personal life. If you do not feel comfortable opening up about your personal life, that is beyond okay. If they are your friends, they should understand that. But in order for them to understand that you don’t want them to be concerned about you, you have to communicate it to them. Let them know that you just want to hang out with them and not worry about your private life when you are with them. They may also be a little confused on how to address your family life which may lead to all of you feeling confused on the matter. Just let them know that you want to keep family matters out of the conversation when you are with them, and maybe in the future, when you do want to talk about it with them, they will be there for you.

Your Friend

Dear Anonymous from Any City,

Your preference for privacy is understandable, but your friends may not be aware of it. Your friends care about you and your wellbeing during this difficult time, and combined with natural curiosity, they may want to talk about it and see how you’re doing but not know that you don’t. Hopefully, the cloud hanging there will disperse once you directly, or indirectly, explain to them that you don’t like to discuss your personal life with them, or anyone, since you’re a private person.

Just Your Frank Teenager

Dear Anonymous from Any City,

True friends will try their best to honor your request; however, it is your responsibility as a true friend to clearly convey your wishes.
If you do not want to experience this awkward distance and
dark cloud, it would benefit you to let your friends know how you would like them to support you and your family. Be specific in
your requests and update your friends regularly as to how you are doing. For example, you might say: “I know there have been further news reports about my father, and it would help me if we could just watch a movie together or go swimming today.” In addition, bring up alternative topics to discuss when you are together, such as happenings in their lives, your community, and the world. If you feel the need to be silent while spending time with your friends, let them know that it helps to be with them without feeling pressured to talk. Having the support from friends will help you to feel strong and brave, so remember to nurture true friendships in your life.

Dr. Renae

 

ASK DR. RENAE recruiting high school students ALL interested in volunteering to be a Peer Counseling Writer for the Parklander’s ASK DR. RENAE teen to teen advice column. Please email Dr. Renae at askdrrenae@att.net to request an application for this exciting opportunity!

TEENS: Curious as to what other teens would say? If you have a question or problem you would like to present to other teens, please email: askdrrenae@att.net and include your age, grade and gender you identify with. All questions are published anonymously and your identity and contact information will be kept confidential.

PARENTS OF TEENS: Would you like to anonymously and confidentially ask the panel of teen Peer Counseling Writers to comment on a parenting issue you are struggling with? If you are ready for a variety of honest opinions from real teens, please address your questions to askdrrenae@att.net.

Dr. Renae Lapin, a licensed marriage and family therapist with 40
years experience, currently maintains a private practice in Boca Raton, Florida. For more information about Dr. Renae and her practice, visit her website: www.askdrrenae.com

 

 

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Rewind: Keeping seniors connected with loved ones during times of isolation

The Alzheimer’s Association has partnered with the State of Florida’s Department of Elder Affairs to keep seniors connected with loved ones during social isolation. Through Project: VITAL (Virtual Inclusion Technology for All), senior-friendly tablets from engagement technology provider iN2L will be distributed to nursing homes and assisted living facilities (ALFs) throughout the state.

“There are more than 580,000 people in Florida living with Alzheimer’s and related dementias. Approximately two-thirds of the people living in ALFs have some form of dementia,” said Alzheimer’s Association Florida Regional Leader, Angela McAuley. “Project: VITAL has provided the Association the opportunity to extend our reach to not just those living with dementia, but to all seniors in Florida who are vulnerable to the negative effects of social isolation.”

During the pilot phase, the Alzheimer’s Association will work with 150 care communities, 40 of them in South Florida, supplying two tablets per community, as well as virtual training on how to use the equipment and platform. The tablets are preloaded with software programming from iN2L, enabling residents to connect with their loved ones via video chat with a simple tap on the home screen.

The tablet further fosters connection with family by creating individual profiles for every resident, with the added ability for family to add personal photos and videos to those profiles for residents to view whenever they like.

Also included on the tablet is an easily-personalized library of applications that supports cognitive, emotional, social, physical, and spiritual wellness for the ultimate person-centered engagement experience.

“We are excited to be working alongside the Alzheimer’s Association to provide the technology and tools for Project: VITAL.” said Lisa Taylor, iN2L CEO. “We know how important meaningful connection is to older adults’ health and well-being, and during COVID-19, it is absolutely critical.

“Our tablets are a connection care package for senior living residents, equipped with one-touch video chat tools for virtual family visits, as well
as over 1,000 content applications to connect residents to their interests and passions – all designed to keep them healthy, happy, and entertained during these uncertain times and beyond. We are thrilled that more seniors in the state of Florida will benefit from this solution,” she added.

“We’re hoping the use of these customized tablets will facilitate critical connections with the families, especially during these times – but, we want to use them for sustainable models for the future,” said Richard Prudom, Secretary of the Florida Department of Elder Affairs. “We want to ensure the safety of our vulnerable seniors while keeping their loved ones connected.”

The first 50 tablets were shipped on Friday, April 24 with the remaining 100 tablets on May 1.

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Pandemic Parenting – Making it up as we go along

Think back to the beginning of the year. No one would have predicted that our children would be graduating in our living rooms; that summer camp, family get-togethers and beach days would be so oddly different.

For many, this change to a virtual existence has been difficult. Children thrive from social engagements, which makes this a time of great struggle and stress. Children’s brains develop through play and learning social skills. They learn boundaries and empathy through playing side by side with others, a scenario impossible to re-create through a video chat! So how do we fill the void for our children while maintaining social distancing?

Growing up, I had our summer ritual down pat. Days spent with family and friends, summer camp, vacation on Sanibel, school clothes shopping. It had a rhythm and regularity. This is the time to revisit your summer rituals and revamp them for COVID-19. Rituals are important for family cohesion. Resurrecting a custom from your childhood might be the answer. Unearth photo albums from your childhood and your children’s. Share stories and bring the past alive. Create a new rhythm for summer with family dinners, game time, and movie nights to help children connect with the family.

When we ask children to make a choice, they feel more empowered and in control. That’s a good thing. If we give kids choices, they have a set list of options to choose from. What they don’t have is an endless list of options you don’t want them choosing. “Are we going to the beach at 9 a.m. to beat the crowds, or are we playing in the sprinklers today?” Did you notice two choices with limits? If your child counter offers with a Disney trip, ice cream for breakfast or some other extravagance, it’s fine to pass. Just because your child wants something, it’s OK not to give it to them. Even when life is weird or stressful!

Just remember – you’re a great parent doing the best you can during a difficult time. You got this!

 

By Maria Berger

Maria Berger is a licensed mental health counselor and a registered art and play therapist. Her practice, Berger Counseling Services, is located in Parkland. Maria has been serving children, teens and families for over twenty years.

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Well-balanced diet promotes healthy immune system

There is a strong correlation between a healthy immune system and a nutritionally well-balanced diet. Every day we are exposed to living microorganisms that may cause an infection
in our body. These living microorganisms are called pathogens
or antigens. These can be bacteria, viruses, parasites, or other microbes. Our immune system protects us against these harmful pathogens with systemic pathways and organs throughout our body that create barriers to fight and prevent the spread of the harmful microbe.

There are two parts to our immune system. The innate part uses barriers to stop the threat of the pathogen. This system uses our skin to keep the majority of the microbes from entering our body; mucus is used to trap microbes; the stomach destroys the pathogens with acid; and sweat and
tears reinforce the skin barrier by creating additional antibacterial coverage on the skin surface. The acquired part utilizes the spleen, thymus, lymph nodes, and bone marrow to produce antibodies that attack and destroy antigens.

When antigens enter the body, these substances trigger
an immune response where antibodies and white blood cells
are created to fight the harmful microbe. Once an antigen has entered the body and antibodies have been created to fight it, the innate system has the ability to ‘recognize’ the antigen if it enters the body again, thus being able to fight it even better when it is reintroduced. The acquired part also utilizes inflammation as an effective immune response. Inflammation causes swelling, fluid accumulation, and pain. White blood cells are produced and rush to the area of the harmful microbe surrounding it in the swollen area and flushing it out with the excess fluid. All of these parts work in tandem to fight off unwanted, harmful microbes.

What can depress our immune systems includes any or all of the following: the process of aging where parts of the system may not work as effectively or efficiently as they should; disregarding environmental toxins can impair the system; obesity or excess weight strains the immune system; malnutrition by not providing the necessary nutrients that support the system’s response, and chronic diseases, chronic stress, and lack of sleep can all put a strain on the system.

Anyone who is poorly nourished has an increased risk for infection. Additionally, the severely or chronically ill suffer from malnutrition due to a depletion of macro and micronutrients due to the disease state. During this COVID-19 pandemic, those that are at higher risk include the elderly and those with chronic conditions such as diabetes, kidney disease, cancer, cardiac disease, and obesity.

A healthy diet includes fruits, vegetables, grains, meats/beans, dairy, and fats. The fresher, the better. A diet that is diverse provides all of the macro (protein, fat, and carbohydrates) and micro (vitamins and minerals) nutrients that are needed to support a healthy immune system. The nutrients in our diet support immune cell growth and antibody production, both which are used to fight an infection.

If you feel you are nutritionally compromised, it may be beneficial for you to take a multivitamin supplement that provides the recommended dietary allowance for your age. This will be on the label. The COVID-19 virus key micronutrients for immune support include Zinc, vitamin C, and vitamin D. Zinc has been shown to reduce the rate of respiratory infections and reduce flu symptoms. It plays a critical role in skin healing and in most of our enzymes. Zinc is found naturally in most of our protein sources. Vitamin C is another key agent that is known for its role as an antioxidant, in cell repair by reducing tissue damage, and in immunological response. Fruits are a plentiful source. Vitamin D has been shown to reduce the chance of developing acute respiratory tract infections. Make sure the MVI you choose contains these three nutrients.

To maintain a healthy immune system, eat a well-balanced diet, do not smoke, no alcohol or consume in moderation, exercise regularly, get eight hours of sleep each night, and manage your stress level.

DIETITIAN’S VIEW

By Nancy M. Ouhib, MBA, RDN, LDN

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Top 5 Advice for Wearing Masks for an extended period

It has now been a few months since most of us first laid hands on our masks.  During the lockdown, they were used while we ventured out to Publix, and to other stores that were still open.  Now as we have a wider range of activities to draw us out of our homes, the use of masks is increasing.

Masks were not initially designed for continual use.  Now, with more and more activity, and COVID-19 still a threat, work environments are mandating masks.  A lot of folks are facing 8 hrs or more of mask use.  It is a challenge to keep a mask on for a whole day, so we want to share some of the top advice regarding mask use:

 

Protect your Ears

Masks that hook around your ears are now a common sight around the community.  The ear hooks eventually irritate the back of your ear after using it for a couple hours; you can relieve this by getting a mask with straps that tie behind your head vs your ears, or with a single tie behind the head.  You can also get ear guards that will protect your ears.

Comfort

Now that you have protected the back of your ears, it’s time to consider the materials of which the mask is made of; polyester and synthetic material traps more heat vs cotton.  The N95 masks are typically made with thin synthetic fibers, but may not be as comfortable as a cotton mask.  Other moisture can also get trapped behind the masks, so one suggestion is to put a tissue on your nose behind the mask, it may help with some irritation.  If you feel suffocated with your mask, you can try mints or chewing gum, as they will help regulate your breathing.

Also, try out your masks at home before you use them for an extended period of time.  This will help you figure out the more painful areas and give you a chance to address it.

Credit: Stanford University / 4C Air

Make it Smell Better

You will be spending a bit of time with your mask when you venture out.  So, if you are sensitive to smells, consider using Menthols, or scented antibacterial sprays inside your mask. These will give it a pleasant smell, and reduce germs accumulating inside your mask.  You may also consider a few drops of essential oils.  For example, lavender oil is used to relieve anxiety; peppermint may help with mental focus; eucalyptus will help open your lungs, and bergamot has antioxidant properties, and can be a herbal option to ward off germs.

Foggy Glasses

For the 64% of Americans wearing glasses, especially in the South Florida humidity, foggy glasses are another annoyance you will face with masks.  First, make sure you have a tight fit on top of the mask.  If you have a metal strip in your mask, make sure it sits snugly on your nose and skin.  You can also try to wear your glasses lower, and thus down your nose.  For masks that tie behind the head, criss-crossing the straps can also be used to keep the fabric pressed closely against your face. 

Style

Since you are already customizing your masks to make them more comfortable, you might as well personalize it with your style.  The choice of masks now is ever expanding, and you can get them custom made for you.  You can choose a different mask based on your mood or outfit.

Credit: Katie May Masks

In Closing

Living with a mask on your face is now a part of everyone’s daily routine, you might as well try to make it as comfortable as possible.  There are masks for every purpose and occasion, so get a few styles and use them based on your activities.

 

Personally, I enjoy taking mask breaks when I can, but please wear a mask when you can not be socially distant in public.  You are protecting me by wearing a mask, and I am protecting you by wearing mine.

Submit your comments and your stories on masks to us.

 

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New Normal – Concierge Fitness

The gym, where we exercise to burn off our excessive consumption, has been closed since the beginning of the pandemic shut down.  During the pandemic, personal concierge trainers have become a popular way for folks who are looking for professional guidance to continue their training.

As we reopen, gyms have established protocols to protect the customers.  Equipment has been moved so people will be socially distant from each other, mask use is mandated, regular cleaning regimens are increased, and reservations need to be made to meet capacity limitations.

These are all prudent protocols which should reduce the risk of exposure.  However, for those wanting to continue their workouts at home, a spectrum of services are available.  They include, visiting your trainer at their personal garage gym and trainers coming to you.  

For folks looking for specialty training, like kickboxing training, check out HB Kickboxing.  It’s a great way to workout, and improve confidence and discipline.  According to Harry from HB Kickboxing, “learn how using kickboxing can be your most effective weight loss strategy”

If you lack equipment, yet still want to train at home, you will also find mobile gym services available for you to reserve.  One serving the Parkland and Coral Springs area is Trainstation, which allows you to reserve a fully equipped gym.  It’s a great way to work with your trainer, right at home.

 

Source: http://trainstationfla.com

With all the options, there should be little excuse not to get back to your exercise schedule due to COVID-19.  Stay safe and thrive!

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Unsung heroes – your local retail store workers

In many parts of the country, quarantined residents cheer for essential workers such as doctors, nurses, and first responders, to thank them for their service. From hospitals to the grocery stores, there are essential workers out there every day during the coronavirus pandemic. Essential workers such as grocery store employees are constantly restocking toilet paper, poultry, produce, and canned goods as fast as the items fly off the shelves.

These workers disinfect carts, keypads, handles, and checkout counters as hundreds of people weave around them, sometimes working weary hours behind clear plastic barriers installed at checkout counters.

They aren’t doctors, nurses, or home health aides, yet they are earnest and sometimes praised for their work. Their dedication has been recognized by singer Adele, Pope Francis, former U.S. President Barack Obama, and countless individuals on social media.

For Jordan Dennis, being an essential worker right now means masking up and taking the uttermost health precautions to be a helping hand.

“I feel happy to contribute my services to the cause,” said Publix employee Dennis. “The customers are getting the supplies they need and that is what always makes me happy.”

Dennis, who has been a Publix employee for 5 years, is still on the job. But the stress of the coronavirus is taking a toll as workers risk exposure to the virus. Dennis’ work hours have been shortened because of decreased customer activity. However, it’s a little bit more elbow grease than he’s used to.

“We now need more time to restock our shelves and clean everything every hour,” said Dennis.

According to Dennis, cleaning products such as Lysol, Clorox, and wipes are the first to go. Dennis hasn’t seen hand-sanitizer last on shelves for more than a day. But during these uncertain times, Dennis remains grateful.

Since April, Publix initiatives have supported farmers and are helping to feed those in need. The Publix Company announced it had purchased over one million pounds of fruits and vegetables to donate to the organization ‘Feeding America’ member food banks, which includes ‘Feeding South Florida.’ 

The non-profit organization estimates over 17 million people will experience food shortage from the pandemic, with many looking towards ‘Feeding America’ to help feed their families. 

“You just hope that you can find the right people to work with — people who can come up with the right solutions to help you make it through. We found that right partner in Publix.” 5 Brothers Produce Senior Sales Associate Thomas Torbert. 5 Brothers Produce is a Florida vegetable farmer and distributor.

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Burnout oozes from excessive, prolonged stress

By Ellen Marsden

Feeling alienated from your job lately as COVID-19 lingers over a fearful nation? Have you become cynical of your coworkers or even the intrinsic value of your work itself?

Are you suffering headaches, or stomach issues? Do you feel drained and exhausted, looking down an endless dark tunnel of depression? 

Are you questioning your ability to cope, both with your job and your new homebound virus responsibilities?

No, this isn’t a commercial for Geritol. Do they even still make that stuff?

The symptoms describe burnout, “a state of emotional, physical, and mental exhaustion caused by excessive and prolonged stress. It occurs when you feel overwhelmed, emotionally drained, and unable to meet constant demands.”

Last year, before coronavirus spread its ugly tentacles across the globe, the World Health Organization (WHO) officially classified burnout as “an occupational phenomenon … resulting from chronic workplace stress that has not been successfully managed.” 

Stress and burnout are not the same. Stress is something you might experience temporarily, such as a work deadline that has you under pressure, or being stuck in traffic as you struggle to make an appointment on time.

Burnout is prolonged. Instead of heightened emotion and rising to the occasion as you might with stress, you feel like you’re sinking, empty, helpless; like nothing you do is going to make any difference. 

The term “burnout” is a relatively new term, according to verywellmind.com. It was “first coined in 1974 by Herbert Freudenberger, in his book, Burnout: The High Cost of High Achievement. He originally defined burnout as, “the extinction of motivation or incentive, especially where one’s devotion to a cause or relationship fails to produce the desired results.” 

Workplace burnout is not uncommon, especially in business, for first responders, and those in healthcare. As the COVID-19 crisis ravages the country, workers in these areas may be particularly vulnerable to burnout as they are dedicated to saving companies, jobs and lives. A related phenomenon is “compassion fatigue” which can happen to healthcare workers in response to working with trauma.

Now that burnout has been given a more detailed definition by the WHO, it is likely that employers will be more aware of and sensitive to the issue, and devise strategies to help minimize its occurrence and severity. 

In response to the pandemic, there has already been an increase in the availability of resources to combat the burnout healthcare providers are experiencing, according to Cindy Ricardo, a Coral Springs based licensed mental health worker.

“There was some of it available, but with COVID-19, there’s been a huge response from all different organizations. What I have seen companies doing is offering free mental health resources and free healthcare, no copay necessary. There’s a lot of other free resources out there like free yoga classes,” Ricardo said.

And while the WHO has defined burnout as a workplace phenomenon, it is possible to experience burnout in other areas of life as well. Parenting challenges, working from home, caring for elderly or ill parents, getting along with your spouse and children 24/7, can lead to feelings of crushing exhaustion, being overwhelmed by responsibility, or a sense of defeat. 

There are simple, intuitive ways to combat it, like eating right, getting enough sleep and making a point to take some time for yourself. 

“Go have a cup of coffee or tea, go outside and connect with nature. Make time to exercise even if it’s taking a walk and taking in the warmth of the sun or the sounds of a bird,” said Ricardo. “If you’re constantly giving to others and not giving to yourself, it’s like a well, not being replenished. 

“To actually schedule that time becomes important. You schedule other things, like doctor appointments for your kids, but if you’re not putting yourself on that schedule, you are abandoning yourself.” 

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To the rescue: Who was that mask maker?

By Jonah Bryson

There has been no shortage locally of people pitching in to produce masks to combat COVID-19.

Saniél Atkinson-Grier, a Parkland athlete, had the plans of a lifetime this coming summer. She was positioned to compete in the 2020 Tokyo Olympics. Instead, unexpectedly caught in the midst of a deadly pandemic, Saniél found herself quarantined—like many of us—rather than celebrating her achievements halfway around the world. 

“I was only a week away from traveling to Australia to start my competition season when the pandemic began to spread,” she said. 

Now, Saniél is racing against the clock to produce face-masks, with the help of her mother, Sandra Bryan-Grier.

“Rachel Maddow had a story about how healthcare workers have little-to-no PPE, and how they were struggling to find resources,” Saniél said  “The next day, I went to Joann Fabrics and bought all of the materials.”

From the very first stitch to the final iron, Saniél and her mother make a dedicated team. “My mom is my best friend,” she said, “We … do everything together!”

“Every day we turn on some music and get into the zone,” shared Sandra, profoundly proud of her daughter. “We are so accustomed to the process, that we now can make up to 35 masks a day. It makes me feel blessed to know that we are able to do something to help our community and healthcare workers.”

With nearly 6,000 confirmed cases of COVID-19 in Broward County, as of May 10, the role that face masks play in preventing viral spread is paramount. 

‘Maskateers’ mobilize

Rhonda Nissensohn, the mother of a nurse on the front lines, received a call from her daughter in March. The daughter was concerned for her colleagues, who were being assigned a single mask — designed to safely last only a few hours — per week.

At the time, Rhonda went online and posted an ad seeking volunteers to start fabricating masks. Support from folks around the community proved to be nothing less than inspiring. Within an hour, eight women had signed up to sew, others to iron and cut fabric. They called themselves the ‘Maskateers’.

In a matter of days, 70 masks were being shipped to her daughter’s hospital in Virginia Beach. Rhonda added, “after we did this for my daughter, we said, let’s keep doing this for first responders.”

On average, they make 100 masks using a single queen-sized bed sheet. “We are a well-oiled machine,” she said. The Maskateers have now produced over 1,400 surgical masks, each donated to workers on the frontlines. 

“The one thing we all said we’re looking forward to when this is finally over, is getting together and finally meeting each other, face-to-face!” Rhonda said.

Parkland boutique takes up mask making

Jamie Tobol, the owner of Parkland’s Jatem Boutique, was preparing her shop for the busiest season of the year when COVID-19 struck.

“Nothing could prepare us for this,” she expressed. “The last few months have been very challenging for all of us. To suddenly shut down is devastating.”

Just like many families up-and-down the coasts of Florida, Jamie is now having to juggle between homeschooling her children, and running a small business during tremendous economic hardship.

In light of the pandemic, Jatem Boutique decided to partner with Joy Vava, a Los Angeles-based designer, to produce and sell facemasks. This effort has helped the factory workers — who would normally manufacture the boutique’s clothing — stay employed.

Jamie hopes  that by providing the community with “cute” and fashionable face masks, people might be more encouraged to wear them to stop the spread.

To order masks from Jatem Boutique, visit @jatemboutique on Instagram.

To order masks from Saniél Atkinson-Grier and her mother, Sandra Bryan-Grier, visit their shop on Etsy: lgndry.etsy.com.

If you are a first responder in need of free masks, or if you know first responders in need, please reach out to the Maskateers: 

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Strategies for coping with social isolation

What are you going to do? Your favorite restaurants and night spots are closed, the movie theatres have gone dark, and so have the theatres that offer live shows. All the sporting events have been cancelled, and it isn’t even safe to invite friends over anymore. 

Depending on your work status (employed, self-employed, retired, in search of employment), and the type of work you do, you may find yourself suddenly at loose ends during the daytime, as well. So, really, what are you going to do with yourself?

Believe it or not, I have two sets of suggestions. One set falls into the category of social interactions; the other falls into the category of keeping yourself happily and productively occupied “for the duration.” Ready?

Social interactions

The internet is your new best friend, your fallback for getting together with friends old and new. If you’re not already on Facebook, now would be a good time to join. And if you’re already on Facebook, start spending more time there.

The internet can also provide you with opportunities to get together with friends and family face to face, even though not in person. You may miss talking with your friends over a couple of glasses of wine or beer. You may have had to cancel a visit to your grandkids. But all is not lost.

Chances are you have FaceTime on your smartphone and/or your computer. My friend Deb, who lives in California, FaceTimes regularly with her grandkids in New Jersey and has been doing so since long before we’d ever heard of the coronavirus. She has cancelled her next planned trip to see the kids, but she continues FaceTiming with them. 

But you don’t have to have grandkids (or siblings or other relatives) to take advantage of FaceTime. Use it to keep in touch with your friend around the corner, now that she and you are skittish about getting together for coffee. And since it’s a visual medium as well as a voice medium, you can show her the new outfit you ordered from Amazon and see how she likes it on you.

Facebook’s Messenger app offers another means of getting together visually as well as vocally (or just by text if you prefer). If you and the friend you want to “visit” are both on Facebook, use the Messenger app the same way you would use FaceTime. And then there’s Skype, which again offers visual and voice get-togethers. Most uses of Skype are free. (Calling a landline from Skype incurs a charge—but why would you want to do that anyway?) Instagram also has a video chat function for up to 6 people. And speaking of parties DJ D’Nice hosts “Homeschool at Club Quarantine” on his instagram channel @dnice, where on March 22nd of this year over 160,000 people danced while he DJ’d! Discord and WhatsApp are other free chat services that include voice, and text chatting.

Finally, you can have a party and invite a bunch of friends to join you — remotely. Zoom is an application primarily used for remote business meetings with which any number of people can get hooked in to a “conference.” If you limit your get-together to half an hour, it’s free. Or take some of the money you’re saving by not going out to your fave restaurant or other entertainment, and go for the Zoom plan that will let you stay in the conference for as long as you want. Invite your friends to pour a beverage (“adult” or soft), sit in front of the computer, and have a party or just a conversation.

Keep yourself productively busy

There are plenty of projects around the house and on your computer that aren’t “busy work” but are genuinely useful and really need to be done. What better time than now to do them?

Let’s start with a subject that’s dear to my own heart: writing. How many of you reading this have had an idea for a book, whether it’s the next Great American Novel, a self-help book, or a children’s story, but have put off sitting down and writing it for lack of time? You said maybe you’d write it some day when you retired. Well, now’s your opportunity. Go for it!

And speaking of writing, how about writing your memoirs, or your family history? I don’t mean for you to write this for publication. No, you’re writing for your children, your grandchildren, your great-grands, and beyond, and perhaps for your nieces, nephews, and cousins, as well. 

Now, while you’re at your computer, when’s the last time you went through it deleting old files you don’t need anymore? “Housecleaning” is a term that applies to your computer as well as to your kitchen. You go through your spice rack periodically, getting rid of old spices that have lost their pungency. You go through your fridge periodically, getting rid of old foods that should no longer be eaten even if they haven’t yet turned into “science experiments.” 

You go through your closets periodically, getting rid of clothes that no longer fit you or suit you. Do the same with your computer. Delete files you are sure you have no further need for. You’ll make room on your hard drive for new files and may well find your computer executing saves and other functions faster.

Now, moving on from your computer and getting back to your closets, when’s the last time you went through them all to see what’s in them — clothing and otherwise — that you and your family no longer want or need? Fill giant-sized bags with all the things you want to give away. When it’s once again safe to do so, you can venture out and drop the bags off at your favorite thrift store or other charity. And now that your closets are emptier, reorganize them.

Until then go online and check out organizations like Vietnam Veterans of American at scheduleapickup.com or American Veterans at amvets.org. 

What else in your house needs reorganizing? Your kitchen cabinets? Your bookshelves? Your kids’ toys? Maybe this is even a good time to reorganize the furniture in your living room, family room, or kids’ rooms. 

Some day — in the not-too-distant future, I hope — the need for social isolation will be over. But until then, you have ways to “visit” with your friends and plenty of projects to keep you occupied between visits.

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More Than a Job

Tragedy drives county health official

Casey McGovern is the Florida health department’s Drowning Prevention Program Manager for Broward County —raising awareness about water safety is her job.

But preventing deaths by educating people about the possible consequences of not being aware of water-related dangers is her passion.

Nine years after McGovern’s daughter drowned in a backyard pool, the mother of three is still haunted by what she didn’t know then and driven by what she wants parents to know today.

On Aug. 3, 2009, McGovern found her 19-month-old, Edna Mae, floating face-up in the pool where “Em” had been playing in just hours earlier. The toddler died eight days later.

“You think you are going to hear it — people think they are going to hear flailing and splashing and yelling,” McGovern said.

But the unthinkable can happen quicker than you think, she said. “A drowning can occur in as little as 60 seconds.”

Mom to three girls, who were then ages 10, 3, and 19 months, McGovern placed Em in a chair in the family room, across the counter from where she was putting away groceries.  

McGovern stepped away to chat with her husband. She was only gone a minute.

Today, McGovern, of Coral Springs, talks openly about the experience, acknowledging some of the ways Em’s death might have been prevented. She needs other parents to know how such a tragedy happens.

At the time of her daughter’s death, the family pool was encircled by a child safety fence, but McGovern said the fence gate was not latched that day.

McGovern also said there was nothing in place at the time to raise an alert to potential trouble, such as chimes on the sliding door leading to the pool deck. “Drowning is silent,” she said, encouraging parents to find ways to put sound to danger.

McGovern said she also wasted precious minutes searching for her daughter inside the house.

Whether you have a pool or you’re at the pool or the beach, she tells parents today, check the water first.

“We thought we were doing everything right,” McGovern said. “There are so many things I didn’t think about, wasn’t educated on.”

According to the Florida Department of Children and Families, In the past two years, 12 children ages four and younger drowned in Broward County. The deaths occurred in family pools, community pools, lakes, the ocean, and in canals. With its 125,000 backyard pools and miles of waterways, Broward offers ample risk of drowning.

“Because our county is covered in water and it’s swim season all year long, year after year our statistics show we are one of the highest counties in state of Florida for drowning fatalities,” McGovern said.

Among her high-priority recommendations, McGovern said children should start swim lessons as soon as they start to crawl.

The county Children’s Services Council backs that advice by providing a $40 swim voucher to Broward kids ages six months to four years. The voucher is available annually, up until the fifth birthday.

“I think knowledge is power and I think the more people who relate and connect to my story may cause changes,” McGovern said.Sallie James writes for the Florida Department of Health in Broward County.

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A Shared Moment in Time

Like Tibetan sand mandalas, which are swept up and scattered on the water, the Temple of Time is about the moment, the process, the creation, and the transitory nature of life itself.

The beech-plywood temple on Sample Road, created by artist David Best, is the first of five public art installations in Coral Springs and Parkland that are part of the series Inspiring Community Healing After Gun Violence: The Power of Art.

The two cities, in partnership with the Coral Springs Museum of Art, were awarded $1 million from Bloomberg Philanthropies to fund the projects, which aim to use art to help heal the community after the shootings at Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School in February 2018. 

With help from local residents, the Balinese-like temple rose from the site of the old City Hall over a two-week span in early February, and opened to the public one year after the Feb. 14 school shooting that left 17 dead and as many injured.

What Best, his crew and community members created was an object of great beauty out of shared loss. 

The temple, where visitors are encouraged to leave mementoes and write messages directly on the raw wood, has transformed into a repository of the community’s hopes, fears, wishes, and dreams.

The Temple of Time, said Best, is a way of honoring the time it will take for the community to process the feelings it shares from a common tragedy.

The California-based artist has dedicated his life’s work to designing and building ornate yet ephemeral temples for communities that need healing.

In what some might say is a paradox, the 35-foot-high, non-denominational structure will be set on fire and destroyed in May. It is Best’s hope the community’s grief over the shootings and the loss of life on 2/14 and in the aftermath will dissipate with the flames.

Best began creating temples in 2000, as a way to honor a friend killed in a motorcycle accident, and he and his 14-person Temple Crew have become known for the elaborate structures they’ve built at the annual Burning Man Festival in Nevada’s Black Rock Desert.

Best recently spoke about his work to the Miami New Times: “I make an empty structure — it doesn’t mean anything; it’s just a pretty shape. And then people come, and they put in their religion, their faith, their anger. Whatever they’ve got, they put it [in the temple], and they develop their mythology. It doesn’t matter what we believe. It matters what they believe.”

The Temple of Time in Coral Springs is very nearly covered with the inspirational and heartfelt messages visitors have left on the carved mosaic-like scrollwork. “Tell the sun and stars hello for me. We love you, Gina Rose,” reads one of thousands of personal notes. Another states: “Hate, anger, fear, indifference, and jealousy will never win.”

Hand-painted rocks emblazoned with “MSDStrong,” “A Little Bit of Gratitude Goes a Long Way,” and “There is Always Hope,” adorn the temple altars along with stuffed animals, photos, religious trinkets, hand-drawn hearts, flowers, and a brown manila envelope full of shredded bully testimonials from students at Pioneer Middle School.

Particularly poignant is a photograph from 18-year-old Meadow Pollack’s kindergarten teacher saying, “Proud to have been your kindergarten teacher, Meadow.” A senior at Douglas, Pollack was among the 17 killed by a lone gunman at school that day.

On a cool weekday morning in March — the installation is open every day from 7am until dusk — the temple was alive with visitors. Jonathan Koota, a massage therapist and Coral Springs resident, came with friends Lynne Mass, of Delray Beach, and Judy King, of Pompano Beach. They walked quietly through the temple, discreetly taking photos and reading the temple’s messages of love and hope to their grandkids. Lanie Hyman Shapiro visited the temple in February. The Coral Springs woman called the temple “an amazingly powerful and intricate” tribute to MSD’s 17 victims. “It’s a place to come together, to reflect,” Shapiro said. “It’s a place to begin a catharsis.”

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