Category: Health & Wellness

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Fight anxiety with goop, gadgets, and gravity

It seems as if the Age of Anxiety has eclipsed the Age of Aquarius. In this time of COVID-19, quarantine, and social distancing, many people are feeling stressed, isolated, and anxious. Depression is on the rise. Uncertainty wreaks havoc on our mental well-being.

According to the CDC,

“Fear and anxiety about a new disease and what could happen can be overwhelming and cause strong emotions in adults and children.”

To stay busy and decompress, Coral Springs resident Lanie Hyman Shapiro, a market research consultant, takes an on-line exercise class twice a week.

“I look forward to it,” she says. “Even if I’m napping, I make sure to get up for the class.”

She finds cooking and meal planning help her to focus on something besides reality. She takes her dog for a walk and has completed five puzzles back-to-back.

“I find it very satisfying and relaxing,” she says.

Additionally, she binged Schitt’s Creek on Netflix and the Hulu Shows “Better Things” and “Little Fires Everywhere.”

To stay connected, she chats with friends regularly and keeps in touch on social media.

Here are some other possible methods for reducing stress and anxiety.

 

Scented massage oils

Try some aromatherapy skin products or scented massage oils in lemon, rosemary, or lavender.

Science has shown a pain-relieving mechanism from the nose to the brain. Exposing your senses to strong scents and smells helps alleviate stress and anxiety, and creates a sense of well-being in the body.

Olfactory receptors in the nose trigger a strong sense of smell, which then sends signals to the brain, reducing swelling to the nerves. Studies show that aromatherapy can improve brain chemistry, boost the production of dopamine, and fight stress.

Sharon Fried Buchalter, a Boca Raton psychologist and CEO of Products on the Go, which makes the lifestyle brands, Little Toes and Sunshine On The Go, recommends destressing with mindfulness meditation, a breathing technique that keeps your mind focused on the present.

Products On The Go’s natural massage oil is great to use individually, or as an aromatherapy relaxation massage oil for couples, says Dr. Buchalter. Made with natural oils that hydrate and moisturize your skin, they stimulate your senses with their nature-inspired scents, which can lower stress levels.

Visit products-onthego.com or sunshineonthego.com

Weighted blankets – (Gravity blankets)

Snuggling up with a weighted blanket can not only help you feel calmer and less anxious but can help you sleep better – no sleeping pills necessary.

Typically weighing between 5-30 lbs., experts say to choose one around 10 percent of your body weight (or 5 percent for children).

How does it work? Experts say the weight of the blanket mimics a therapeutic technique known as deep pressure stimulation which calms the nervous system.

It is believed that grounding your body while sleeping can lower cortisol levels, which helps improve blood pressure, heart rate, glucose levels, and even boosts the serotonin in your brain.

And all this while you’re sleeping – what more could you ask of your blanket?

Adult coloring books

One of the latest trends to emerge from our time at home is the popularity of adult coloring books as a way to relieve anxiety and boredom.

They help you relax by utilizing different areas of the brain to improve motor skills, senses, and creativity. Think of it as coloring meditation. Your focus is on the task at hand and not on your troubles.

For an extra bonus, try your coloring skills on geometric mandalas. A 2005 study by the American Art Therapy Association Inc. concluded that coloring complex geometric patterns induces a meditative state beneficial for reducing anxiety. Even psychologist Carl Jung had his patients color mandalas 100 years ago as a way to relax and learn more about themselves.

Magnetic Zen garden

If you can’t join a monastery in Bhutan, at least you can bring a Zen garden to your home. Ancient Buddhists used Zen gardens for meditation and you can, too.

These desk-top sized gardens come with magnetic sand, smooth stones, gravel, greenery, and figurines replicating the serene nature of a Japanese garden and promote a meditative state of mind.

The Japanese concepts of Kanso (simplicity) and Fukinsei (asymmetrical balance) contribute to the garden’s grace and appeal.

They can remind you to breathe and that perfection is unattainable, simplicity is beautiful and that attachment to materialism and desires are ephemeral.

Fidget spinner – Not just for kids anymore

Invented by chemical engineer Catherine Hettinger in the early ‘90s, these triangle-shaped gadgets have been all the rage with middle- schoolers.

But, for adults, fidget spinners, considered a rapid stress management technique (RSMT), can relieve stress and distract us from ruminating about our problems.

Proponents believe they can help with anxiety, ADHD, and even autism, although there is only anecdotal evidence to support this.

One of Amazon’s best selling toys, fidget spinners can put us in a state of mindfulness meditation, and through their nature to soothe, empty our minds and channel our nervous energy.

Portable Shiatsu massager

Japanese Shiatsu (finger pressure) massage can enrich your physical, emotional, and cognitive health and promote overall well-being, similar to acupuncture, but without the needles.

It allows the qi (pronounced chi) to flow freely, which contributes to keeping the body in balance.

In addition to relieving stress, Shiatsu helps relieve anxiety and depression, and can even boost your mood.

Practitioners believe the treatment calms the sympathetic nervous system and — in turn — stimulates circulation, reduces stress, and mitigates pain.

A portable massager lets you relax at a moment’s notice. Some units come with heat, vibration, different intensities, etc. Look for one that delivers a deep tissue massage and leaves you in a relaxed state of bliss.

 

By Jan Engoren

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Medicare plan change window opens October 15

Each year in late September, every Medicare recipient should receive an Annual Notice of Change (ANOC) in the mail, which summarizes their current Medicare Advantage or Part D drug plan changes that will go into effect on Jan. 1st of the following year. Medicare Open Enrollment (Oct. 15th through Dec. 7th) is the period in which you may make changes to your current Medicare plan or your Medicare Drug plan.

Recipients should take the following steps to see if their current plan is still appropriate:

  • Check your prescription drugs to make sure they are still covered. If not, you may need to change to a plan that will reduce the cost of your drugs.
  • Since contracts can change during the year, you will need to ensure your doctors and hospitals are still in the plan; if they are no longer in the plan, you will need to go out of your network to see your usual doctor and this will probably cost more money than you want to spend. If you are currently on an HMO Advantage plan, you might need to change plans so your primary care doctor remains covered.
  •  Medicare Open Enrollment is the time to join a Medicare drug plan because if you select a plan outside of this period, you may encounter a late enrollment penalty; if you wait for future years, coverage will probably be more expensive.

Have you checked the following plan changes to see if they benefit you?

  • Plans sometimes add value items, such as gym memberships, over the counter allowances, meal delivery, and acupuncture.
  • Drug plans also make changes to which pharmacies are included as well as changes to tier coverage, deductibles, co-pays, and sometimes they will no longer cover the cost of a specific drug. Not knowing this information can save or cost you a lot of money. Also, if you went into the coverage gap last year, you need to see if changing plans can help you save money.
  • Some plans are more useful for issues that might be important to you. Aetna, for example, has a generous hearing aid allowance compared to other plans, but co-pays may be higher. And if you have money coming out of your Social Security for Medicare payments, those could be waived depending on the amount you receive from Social Security.

The best way to make sure you’re getting the most out of Medicare is to visit a broker who is familiar with all the plans. There is no charge.

Reneé Gorden is an insurance broker and the founder of Health Choice America in Boca Raton.

By Reneé Gordon

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Shed those COVID-19 pounds

Food is our comfort in these trying times. It helps relieve the anxiety we feel due to the uncertainties swirling around us. What’s going to happen to school? Should I visit my favorite restaurant? Given the amount of TV / streaming content we have also consumed, couch potatoing is an activity that is gaining
momentum as we settle into new routines.

There are many activities residents have been doing to burn off those newly acquired COVID-19 pounds. Some, like me, have a bike and have gotten more familiar with their neighborhoods. Others have been running and playing tennis, as those activities allow us to keep our social distance and get our heart rate up.

However, a lot of us need some help to get a good program going. There are a lot of local pros that can help; you may have seen the Trainstation mobile gym trailer driving around in your neighborhood. Rick delivers all the gym equipment you need to your house. Harry, a kickboxing trainer from HB Kickboxing, can help you get a workout and improve your martial arts skills.

Whatever your choice is, COVID-19 pounds are another way this pandemic could impact your health long term, but there are many options to shed them. So, you can keep active, or if you need help, many professionals are ready to keep you healthy.

 

By Curiously Hungry

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With COVID-19 there are no ‘immaculate’ assumptions

If you feel confused by the ever-changing data and recommendations surrounding COVID-19, you are not alone. As a new virus emerges, doctors and scientists are learning new information almost daily. Hence, the need to modify recommendations as this information arises.

If I say one thing to help guide you through this process, it is that as long as the virus is around, you must take measures to mitigate the risk of getting and spreading it. Over the last few months, many of us have witnessed two extremes: Those who drive alone in their car while wearing gloves, a mask, and a face shield, and those who partake in large group gatherings with no social distancing nor PPE of any kind.

Regardless of whether you fall into one of these categories or somewhere in the middle, I think we can agree that we all want to do whatever we can to keep our loved ones out of harm’s way.

The question I get asked the most from family and friends is regarding what measures to take when visiting with others. Whether it is a party for Grandma’s 90th birthday or a relatively small family gathering at a lake house, everyone wants to know a definitive answer on doing the right thing in the age of COVID-19.

Although there are evidence-based answers, anyone watching one of the numerous news networks or various social media feeds knows the research is ever-changing. Even those of us who have been critically reviewing journal articles as part of our career are relatively confused as to what the perfect answer is. As I said, you are not alone!

All of that being said, I would like to offer what I think is a risk-mitigating, comfort level approach to keeping you and your loved ones as safe as possible during group gatherings and family visits. For this, we need to make a few assumptions:

Assumption 1: When someone says they tested negative, assume this means they still could be infected with the virus.

Yes, I know this one is confusing, but it is very important. PCR and Rapid tests of all kinds (including flu) have always been known to be unreliable – this is not unique to COVID-19. This means that you should always inquire about symptoms, such as fever, cough, loss of smell/taste, etc. (refer to the CDC website for a current symptom list; cdc.gov/ coronavirus/2019-ncov/ symptoms-testing/ symptoms.html). If a person tests negative and has any of the listed COVID-19 symptoms, you must assume they are infected, and the test didn’t pick it up.

Assumption 2: Asymptomatic patients can still transmit the virus.

If someone says, “I tested positive but didn’t have any symptoms, therefore, I am fine,” be cautious. Although it seems that asymptomatic patients have a lower likelihood
of transmitting the virus, the evidence is debatable and from a personal standpoint, I wouldn’t bank on a lower potential transmission rate equating near zero chance, especially when dealing with any of the vulnerable populations. Play it safe!

Assumption 3: Assume that anyone with a fever of 100.4°F or greater has COVID-19.

For those who are taking temperatures at their door, more power to you. Although it is surely an uncomfortable welcome at the front door, it is one of the few truly objective measures we can take, even if it won’t screen in every infected person. Understand though, a temperature of 99° Fahrenheit is not a true fever. I grew up thinking anything above a 98.6° meant you were hospital-bound. We all have very normal fluctuations in our core temperatures throughout the day, but a fever doesn’t truly start until 100.4° Fahrenheit.

Assumption 4: Assume everyone has COVID-19.

Clearly, this will be the most controversial assumption, but I believe a smart approach, especially when dealing with the elderly population and those with chronic illnesses, such as diabetes or lung disease. Assume everyone has COVID and take precautions based on that. Everyone may seem okay or say they are fine, but don’t stop practicing strict hand hygiene or whatever form of social distancing you usually partake in.

If you don’t personally believe this is as bad as the news is portraying, the simple effort of regular hand sanitizing/washing and wearing a face mask during group gatherings could have maximum outcomes if it means you could prevent the spread to a vulnerable person.

Should you worry so much about your healthy 3-year-old or 16-year-old getting very ill? Not nearly as much as the vulnerable populations, but you should worry about who they will potentially pass it on to. Thankfully, although children can indeed get ill, they seem to be the safest population when it comes to COVID-19 with mortality and morbidity rates seemingly lower than influenza, but this doesn’t mean that they are not vectors.

At the end of the day, we all want to keep our loved ones as safe as possible, but unless you live in a HEPA filter bubble, I don’t think there is a 100% perfect approach in this COVID world we live in; however, you can mitigate risk. Personal interactions are core to our sanity and mental health. If you understand the risks and take precautions to mitigate them when you can, you can certainly achieve these interactions while maintaining relative safety.

By Dr. Jahn Avarello

Dr. Avarello was the Division Chief of Pediatric Emergency Medicine for the Cohen Children’s Medical Center of NY for the past 9 years and is now the Florida Regional Medical Director for PM Pediatrics Urgent Care (1st site due to open in the Sawgrass Center this fall). He is currently seeing patients for acute care needs virtually at PMPanywhere.com.

 

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Dietitians View: What About Breakfast?

What’s for breakfast? It is National Breakfast Month and the question is, “What are we eating?” I share with my clients that it is not necessarily when you eat, but what you eat. It is important to eat something to fuel your body as your day starts. Research shows that eating breakfast can aid in improved performance and concentration in both the conference room and the classroom. Additionally, breakfast helps you eat adequate amounts of the vitamins and minerals recommended for a healthy lifestyle, you also are more likely to control your weight and eat less fat and cholesterol.

Key ingredients for a healthy breakfast include:
• Whole grain rolls, bagels, cereals, low-fat bran muffins, English muffins, Melba toast, and crackers.
• Low-fat protein, such as peanut butter, almond butter, Nutella® spread, Canadian bacon, low-fat mozzarella cheese sticks, turkey bacon and sausage, scrambled egg whites or an egg-white omelet, hard-cooked eggs, or vegetarian protein items.
• Low-fat or fat-free dairy foods, i.e., fat-free milk, Greek-style low-fat yogurt, cottage, and natural cheeses.
• Fruits and vegetables, including fresh or frozen items, 100 percent juice beverages without added sugar, fruit, or vegetable smoothies.

Breakfast-on–the-go has grown in popularity. Research from The NPD Group on American eating habits noted an increase in breakfast and morning snack consumption. However, 70% of breakfast meals are consumed in the home. If you’ve been a ‘breakfast skipper,” try these tips for making this meal a little easier to get on the table (or in your hand and out the door).

1. Pre-pack to-go bags the day before a busy morning. Include a zip-top plastic bag of granola; add a hard-cooked egg, low-fat yogurt, and fruit just before you leave.

2. Have a smoothie. Just make sure to add some protein, like yogurt, whey protein powder, or tofu, to keep you satisfied longer.

3. Make quick and healthy breakfast sandwiches with toasted frozen waffles, peanut or almond butter, and sliced banana.

4. Set foods aside the night before; cut up fruits, pour cereal, or prepare mixtures for baked or scrambled eggs.

5. Consider steel-cut oats for a super-healthy and convenient meal. Combine the oats and water, bring to a boil, remove from heat, cover, and let set overnight. The next morning, you can reheat them in the microwave oven.

6. Keep your freezer stocked with frozen waffles. They are available in whole grain and gluten-free varieties. Keep fresh strawberries or blueberries on-hand; they’re a good source of antioxidants and they dress up waffl es or a bowl of cereal.

7. Prepare hard-cooked eggs in advance. Hard-cooked eggs in the shell can be stored in the refrigerator for 2 to 3 days.

8. Always keep a bowl of fresh seasonal fruits available for the easiest grab-and-go breakfast or snack.

Adding breakfast to the day is easy; just make a few adjustments to your schedule, plan ahead, and grab-and-go, choosing some of the above breakfast choices.

If you begin with breakfast, you are well on the way to jumpstarting the day with optimum energy.

 

By Michelle Stewart

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Rampant Allergies? The eyes have it

This summer, your immune system certainly isn’t the only part of your body you should be looking after.

As residents of South Florida, taking care of our eyes should certainly remain a top priority as people begin to flock to the beaches and their backyards. Summer weather and activities, in particular, can cause excessive strain, irritation, or permanent damage.

Luckily, there are a plethora of practices we can follow to combat these effects, while still participating in a summer of fun. Dr. Adrienne Florczyk, an optometrist in Coral Springs, offers a few tips that families everywhere can follow.

A mask shouldn’t be the only protective accessory you’re investing in.

Wearing sunglasses that are 100% UV protection polarized are the most efficient in blocking out harmful rays to make sure you don’t get a sunburn of the eye. A broad-brimmed hat can also be helpful for shading your eyes from direct sunlight. Additionally, shoppers can order UV protection contact lenses if they are contact users.

Watch out for water parks

Waterparks, pools, and beaches can all contain bacteria or chemicals that irritate the eyes. Wearing waterproof goggles is one way to protect your eyes, but if you have children who aren’t so fond of them, Dr. Florczyk recommends buying preservative free artificial tears that flush out the eyes after spending some time in the water.

Yard work can put your eyes at risk

While any outside activity can dry out or trap bacteria in your eyes, yard work, especially, requires some attention. If you are spraying sunscreen, bug spray, or other chemicals that may get in your eyes, you should wear safety goggles or polycarbonate sunglasses that won’t break during landscaping. They also act as a shield from any falling brush or debris.

Spending your relaxation time inside? Your eyes still need protection!

A lot of our down time is spent staring at a television, computer, or phone screen. Unfortunately, it can cause excessive eye strain, especially from the blue wavelengths emitted by these devices.
If you’re staring at a screen, follow the 20-20-20 rule—every 20 minutes, take a 20 second break, and look 20 feet away. This gives your eyes a needed break to keep them healthy. Blue
light glasses, a newer product, also filter out the blue light from screens by using anti-glare coating. Because blue light has been proven to disrupt your natural sleep cycle, this type of eyewear is growing increasingly popular.

By Madison Smith

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Spas and more offer COVID-safe pampering

During stressful times, we are always told to make time for ourselves, to give ourselves a break, to get some “me” time, so we don’t burn out. During COVID-19, if you’re homebound but live alone, that’s one thing, but if you live with your family? Alone time is a tall order.

Luckily there are many options for those who are looking for some pampering in a safe environment within Parkland, Coral Springs, and the surrounding cities. Salons, spas and medical spas have reopened in Broward and Palm Beach counties, and following Florida State Executive Order 20-120 “must manage the capacity of the premises based on an appointment-only schedule” up to 50 percent capacity.

Places “must allow at least 15 minutes between the conclusion of an appointment and the beginning of the next appointment for proper disinfecting practices,” the order mandates.

“Barbershops and salons should take necessary action to limit gatherings in waiting areas prior to and following appointments to the extent necessary to promote appropriate social distancing,” the order continues.

Establishments “are encouraged to adopt means of limiting patrons waiting for appointments, such as calling patrons from a waiting vehicle or outdoor waiting area once an available service station is cleaned, prepared, and ready for service of the next patron.”

Nina Presman is the owner and founder of Anti-Aging Center of Boca, which specializes in non-surgical body sculpting and anti- aging services. She only schedules one appointment between her two treatment rooms to meet the capacity guidelines.

“We want people to feel safe, that’s the most important thing.” Plus, she mentions, clients will receive more individualized attention this way.

Lisa Morrison and her sister, Susan Levine, are the owners of Salon Mia Bella, a full-service beauty salon and blow-dry bar in Coral Springs. The salon opened March 4 and closed March 20 because of COVID-19. They reopened May 18.

Lisa’s main focus has been on keeping customers and her staff safe and healthy. Your temperature is taken upon your arrival, and everyone is expected to wear a mask. They’ve removed their refreshments from the waiting area, as waiting areas aren’t recommended, and they aren’t allowing visitors in, only the client for their scheduled appointment.

They have an esthetician on call, but she has her own separate room for waxing and facials, which is also thoroughly cleaned and disinfected after every appointment. For manicures and pedicures, the nail technician is behind a plexiglass shield and the service is performed separately from the hair stations.

Whatever needs fixing after months of isolation, or do-it-yourself attempts (Cutting your own bangs?), don’t be afraid to make an appointment. You’ll be well taken care of.

Valentina Shtefan, owner of Hello Gorgeous Medical Spa in Coconut Creek has also taken additional steps on top of the guidelines. The furniture is covered with plastic, which can be easily sanitized after every appointment.

As the medspa offers wrinkle relaxers, facial fillers, and micro needling, along with regular skincare treatments, they have added precautions surrounding their injectors. Before the appointment, patients are asked if they are experiencing any symptoms or if they’ve been in contact with anyone who has been sick.

Shtefan recommends patients come in early to fill out the COVID- 19 questionnaire. They even supply a disposable pen, so no two patients use the same one, and sanitize the clipboards. They have a plastic shield protecting the front desk, and the gowns they wear can be disinfected. Everyone, of course, wears masks. Shtefan has even added COVID-19 antibody testing to their offerings. The quick finger prick test is 95% accurate and takes approximately 10 minutes.

It seems like a contradiction that we need to force ourselves to relax and take time to look after ourselves, but this is what is recommended for our short and long term mental and physical health, especially now. Be good to yourselves and stay safe while doing it.

By Sheryl Dunn

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Simple steps to a ‘clean eating’ diet

There has been a lot of chatter about clean eating, and when you ask Google, the search engine kicks out more than 61 million responses.

In responding to my clients’ inquiries, I try to rely on the “keep it simple” mantra—Clean eating is founded on the concept of being mindful of the route food travels from its point of origin to your plate. How has the food been processed, if at all; is the food enhanced with any added ingredients or supplements; how close is the food to its original form?

The clean eating concept focuses on the minimalist approach to food processing: No additives, enhancers, shelf-life extenders, or any other additions or substitutions that can change the foods you ingest. Additionally, you will also want to choose foods with limited and direct travel times from field to table.

Here’s how you can incorporate key principles of clean eating in your diet.

Protein, carbs and fat

Include protein, carbohydrates, and fat in your meals throughout the day. Although carbs fuel you with energy, keep in mind that typically you do not want to go overboard. Choose whole grain carbs with minimal refining such as brown rice, whole-grain flours, or quinoa.

Jumpstart the day with protein foods for breakfast such as a burrito with scrambled or hard cooked eggs and black beans, peanut or almond butter on toast, Greek-style yogurt, fruit and chopped nuts. Protein foods will help you feel full longer and can aid in curbing your appetite.

Unrefined choices

Read product labels and choose foods that are unrefined. This includes brown rice and grains such as millet, amaranth, and wheat berries. Sugars can also fall into this category — typically, unrefined sugars are not white and may be labeled as “raw.” Unrefined sugars are higher in potassium, calcium, and iron, which can be lost when sugar is refined. Choices on the unrefined sugar shelf include honey, maple syrup, dehydrated sugar cane juice, coconut sugar, molasses, brown rice syrup or date sugar, and sucanat. Sucanat is made from cane sugar juice that is heated, yet the molasses is not removed in processing. It is light brown in color and has a rich molasses flavor.

Fruits and veggies

Increase consumption of fruits and vegetables. Opt for fresh or minimally processed items. Choose an orange instead of orange juice. If juice is your choice, read the label to make sure it is indeed juice and not orange drink, and the beverage does not include high- fructose corn syrup.

Add or increase beans and legumes in your meals. They can be served as is, paired with grains, or combined with other ingredients to make items such as hummus or bean “burger” patties.

Plenty of liquids

Water is the number one choice. It is calorie and sugar free. Other beverage choices can include drinks that are low or sugar free, sans high-fructose corn syrup, and free of artificial coloring or additives. Each day drink eight to ten 8-oz. glasses of liquids to keep you hydrated and aid in digestion.

These are a few of the ways you can clean up your act. It is not hard and these suggestions are pretty easy ways to get on board with clean eating.

By Michelle Stewart

Michelle J. Stewart is a registered and licensed dietitian. She is the founder of Michelle Stewart Consulting & Associates in Hollywood, Florida. You can find her at thenutritionplanner.com.

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A Tale of Two Parklands

There are two Parklands. There is the cardboard cutout of the classic suburban dream. There is the latest installment in America’s long-running series of school shootings. There is that familiar, mind-numbing boredom. There is that wild, vicious intensity. There is the Parkland where I spent my childhood — and there is the Parkland where I lost it.

I assumed that the shooting destroyed the Parkland from before, swallowed it whole. I threw myself into college before it could swallow me too. But of course, the pandemic forced me to return. I cannot escape the gravitational pull of the past. As expected, my Parkland, the wasn’t-that-where-that-shooting- happened Parkland, was waiting for me. We walk circles together around my neighborhood, only to see the Parkland that I used to know, preschoolers and their parents playing games. That Parkland is yours now, and all I can do is wave politely as I pass by.

I imagine you sizing me up, guessing my age, what school I went to. Wondering. I know your questions before you ask them. Every survivor does. That “were you there?” hangs in the air between us. That “did you know anyone?” haunts our awkward back-and-forth. We students, we were all so watched. That ever-present elephant in the room has trampled over every interaction between Douglas students and Parkland residents for the past two and a half years. I grew so used to it, I didn’t realize how quickly people began to forget.

I never thought I would miss the days where well-meaning
— but ultimately condescending — adults would look at me whenever there was a loud sound, waiting for me to break down. But on this year’s Fourth of July, I wish Parklanders had maintained that hyper-awareness.

PTSD doesn’t just affect us when it’s convenient for you. It affects us when we hear fireworks sounding like gunshots. The #MSDstrong stickers seem more like mockery when paired with the distinctive stink of gunpowder. This year’s nearly nonstop display of fireworks demonstrates that Parkland has forgotten the victims it vowed to remember.

I ran outside on the Fourth of July, enraged at my neighbors, spitting out every curse I could. I yelled at the top of my lungs, yelled as though I was dying. You’d think I’d gone insane. I think I did. All I know is, this town is eating me alive, and I must scream. When I told off my neighbors for lighting fireworks, they said, “I didn’t know.” Part of me wants to scoff at this excuse. How dare you not know! But thank God you don’t. The other part of me remembers that I used to be like you.

The Me from Before reminds me that I love fireworks. Not loved, love, present- tense. I miss them even now. I used to beg my parents to take us to the beach to watch them. The big boom reverberating in my throat, the bright colors lighting up the smoke of their predecessors, the collective oohs and ahhs, filled me with such awe. I am both starving and nauseous. I long for that which makes me sick.

To my surprise, my neighbors sent me a card and flowers the next day, apologizing. They meant no harm. I still don’t know how to feel about it. Yay, they care! Of course, they couldn’t know how the saccharine sympathy we received after the shooting only intensifies survivors’ guilt. Again, they mean no harm, and yet, harm is caused. To be honest, I don’t know that there is a right way to handle this. How can you do right in a situation so fundamentally wrong? I wrote them a letter in response, saying this:

“We need to cultivate conscious empathy. If you live in Parkland (or Coral Springs), you live in the aftermath of a school shooting, even if you personally did not go through it. Over 3,000 students were there. We live among you, and you live among us. No one gets the luxury of opting out of our past. It wasn’t just the 17 deaths the day of the shooting. Two survivors died by suicide after that. It is our responsibility to educate ourselves on how to support each other, or at least how not to cause harm. The stakes are higher than you can imagine.”

I can’t return to Your Parkland. Slowly, the victims and their families are moving away, and new families take their place. Like a hurricane, old branches fly off. New growth takes over. If you look close enough, you might notice a slight gap where a tree crushed the branches, but this is Parkland. Soon enough, landscapers will shave down the irregularities and plant something suitable to keep the real estate values high.

So what can we do to bridge this aching gap between us? Octavia Butler once said there was no single answer to the difficult questions she raises in her writing. “Instead,” she said, “there are thousands of answers — at least. You can be one of them if you choose to be.”

By LMF

Publisher’s Note: Celebrate as one.

July 4th is a celebration, and fireworks have always been a major part of it. As a community, we can find possible solutions for residents with PTSD, so they too can celebrate our nation’s birthday without stress. Send in your ideas to publisher@theparklander.com, so we can make 7/4/2021 a better experience for those of us still healing.

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Ask Dr. Renae: True friends will try their best.

Dear Dr. Renae,

My father has been arrested and charged for a financial crime. The whole legal process will take a long time and he might wind up serving
time in jail. There have been ongoing news reports and social media discussions about the circumstances. My parents share with me what is important for me to know and have encouraged me to focus on my own day to day life. I have always been a private person and do not want to discuss this with anyone, including my close friends. I feel like there is an awkward distance between me and my friends. I know they care about me and are worried for my family. Even if I avoid saying anything, it feels like it is a cloud just hanging there. How can I let them know I appreciate their concern and that I just want to hang out?

Anonymous from Any City

Dear Anonymous from Any City,

I understand the fear of not wanting to share personal information with your friends, but if you want to close the awkwardness between your friends, you have to share some information about your life. You do not have to be specific about the situation – just enough that you are willing to share. After you explain the circumstances you can reassure them that they shouldn’t worry and that you just want to hang out without the seriousness of the issue pressing on you. If they are your true friends, they will understand your decision and respect your choices. Having friends to lean on in tough times always helps the situation become easier. All the best to you.

Your Fellow Teen

Dear Anonymous from Any City,

Your friends first instincts are always going to be to help you. It’s amazing most of the time, but you’d rather not talk about what you’re going through which is completely fine. I’d suggest that you talk to your friends openly. Tell them that you appreciate them since they want to help, but you’d rather hang out and have fun because that’s what will help you right now. Your friends care a lot about you so you need to be open with them so they know you’re okay. Keep in contact with them and if you ever want to talk about it with them, you should.

High School Junior

Dear Anonymous from Any City,

You do not need to inform your friends about your personal life. If you do not feel comfortable opening up about your personal life, that is beyond okay. If they are your friends, they should understand that. But in order for them to understand that you don’t want them to be concerned about you, you have to communicate it to them. Let them know that you just want to hang out with them and not worry about your private life when you are with them. They may also be a little confused on how to address your family life which may lead to all of you feeling confused on the matter. Just let them know that you want to keep family matters out of the conversation when you are with them, and maybe in the future, when you do want to talk about it with them, they will be there for you.

Your Friend

Dear Anonymous from Any City,

Your preference for privacy is understandable, but your friends may not be aware of it. Your friends care about you and your wellbeing during this difficult time, and combined with natural curiosity, they may want to talk about it and see how you’re doing but not know that you don’t. Hopefully, the cloud hanging there will disperse once you directly, or indirectly, explain to them that you don’t like to discuss your personal life with them, or anyone, since you’re a private person.

Just Your Frank Teenager

Dear Anonymous from Any City,

True friends will try their best to honor your request; however, it is your responsibility as a true friend to clearly convey your wishes.
If you do not want to experience this awkward distance and
dark cloud, it would benefit you to let your friends know how you would like them to support you and your family. Be specific in
your requests and update your friends regularly as to how you are doing. For example, you might say: “I know there have been further news reports about my father, and it would help me if we could just watch a movie together or go swimming today.” In addition, bring up alternative topics to discuss when you are together, such as happenings in their lives, your community, and the world. If you feel the need to be silent while spending time with your friends, let them know that it helps to be with them without feeling pressured to talk. Having the support from friends will help you to feel strong and brave, so remember to nurture true friendships in your life.

Dr. Renae

 

ASK DR. RENAE recruiting high school students ALL interested in volunteering to be a Peer Counseling Writer for the Parklander’s ASK DR. RENAE teen to teen advice column. Please email Dr. Renae at askdrrenae@att.net to request an application for this exciting opportunity!

TEENS: Curious as to what other teens would say? If you have a question or problem you would like to present to other teens, please email: askdrrenae@att.net and include your age, grade and gender you identify with. All questions are published anonymously and your identity and contact information will be kept confidential.

PARENTS OF TEENS: Would you like to anonymously and confidentially ask the panel of teen Peer Counseling Writers to comment on a parenting issue you are struggling with? If you are ready for a variety of honest opinions from real teens, please address your questions to askdrrenae@att.net.

Dr. Renae Lapin, a licensed marriage and family therapist with 40
years experience, currently maintains a private practice in Boca Raton, Florida. For more information about Dr. Renae and her practice, visit her website: www.askdrrenae.com

 

 

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Rewind: Keeping seniors connected with loved ones during times of isolation

The Alzheimer’s Association has partnered with the State of Florida’s Department of Elder Affairs to keep seniors connected with loved ones during social isolation. Through Project: VITAL (Virtual Inclusion Technology for All), senior-friendly tablets from engagement technology provider iN2L will be distributed to nursing homes and assisted living facilities (ALFs) throughout the state.

“There are more than 580,000 people in Florida living with Alzheimer’s and related dementias. Approximately two-thirds of the people living in ALFs have some form of dementia,” said Alzheimer’s Association Florida Regional Leader, Angela McAuley. “Project: VITAL has provided the Association the opportunity to extend our reach to not just those living with dementia, but to all seniors in Florida who are vulnerable to the negative effects of social isolation.”

During the pilot phase, the Alzheimer’s Association will work with 150 care communities, 40 of them in South Florida, supplying two tablets per community, as well as virtual training on how to use the equipment and platform. The tablets are preloaded with software programming from iN2L, enabling residents to connect with their loved ones via video chat with a simple tap on the home screen.

The tablet further fosters connection with family by creating individual profiles for every resident, with the added ability for family to add personal photos and videos to those profiles for residents to view whenever they like.

Also included on the tablet is an easily-personalized library of applications that supports cognitive, emotional, social, physical, and spiritual wellness for the ultimate person-centered engagement experience.

“We are excited to be working alongside the Alzheimer’s Association to provide the technology and tools for Project: VITAL.” said Lisa Taylor, iN2L CEO. “We know how important meaningful connection is to older adults’ health and well-being, and during COVID-19, it is absolutely critical.

“Our tablets are a connection care package for senior living residents, equipped with one-touch video chat tools for virtual family visits, as well
as over 1,000 content applications to connect residents to their interests and passions – all designed to keep them healthy, happy, and entertained during these uncertain times and beyond. We are thrilled that more seniors in the state of Florida will benefit from this solution,” she added.

“We’re hoping the use of these customized tablets will facilitate critical connections with the families, especially during these times – but, we want to use them for sustainable models for the future,” said Richard Prudom, Secretary of the Florida Department of Elder Affairs. “We want to ensure the safety of our vulnerable seniors while keeping their loved ones connected.”

The first 50 tablets were shipped on Friday, April 24 with the remaining 100 tablets on May 1.

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Pandemic Parenting – Making it up as we go along

Think back to the beginning of the year. No one would have predicted that our children would be graduating in our living rooms; that summer camp, family get-togethers and beach days would be so oddly different.

For many, this change to a virtual existence has been difficult. Children thrive from social engagements, which makes this a time of great struggle and stress. Children’s brains develop through play and learning social skills. They learn boundaries and empathy through playing side by side with others, a scenario impossible to re-create through a video chat! So how do we fill the void for our children while maintaining social distancing?

Growing up, I had our summer ritual down pat. Days spent with family and friends, summer camp, vacation on Sanibel, school clothes shopping. It had a rhythm and regularity. This is the time to revisit your summer rituals and revamp them for COVID-19. Rituals are important for family cohesion. Resurrecting a custom from your childhood might be the answer. Unearth photo albums from your childhood and your children’s. Share stories and bring the past alive. Create a new rhythm for summer with family dinners, game time, and movie nights to help children connect with the family.

When we ask children to make a choice, they feel more empowered and in control. That’s a good thing. If we give kids choices, they have a set list of options to choose from. What they don’t have is an endless list of options you don’t want them choosing. “Are we going to the beach at 9 a.m. to beat the crowds, or are we playing in the sprinklers today?” Did you notice two choices with limits? If your child counter offers with a Disney trip, ice cream for breakfast or some other extravagance, it’s fine to pass. Just because your child wants something, it’s OK not to give it to them. Even when life is weird or stressful!

Just remember – you’re a great parent doing the best you can during a difficult time. You got this!

 

By Maria Berger

Maria Berger is a licensed mental health counselor and a registered art and play therapist. Her practice, Berger Counseling Services, is located in Parkland. Maria has been serving children, teens and families for over twenty years.

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