Think back to the beginning of the year. No one would have predicted that our children would be graduating in our living rooms; that summer camp, family get-togethers and beach days would be so oddly different.
For many, this change to a virtual existence has been difficult. Children thrive from social engagements, which makes this a time of great struggle and stress. Children’s brains develop through play and learning social skills. They learn boundaries and empathy through playing side by side with others, a scenario impossible to re-create through a video chat! So how do we fill the void for our children while maintaining social distancing?
Growing up, I had our summer ritual down pat. Days spent with family and friends, summer camp, vacation on Sanibel, school clothes shopping. It had a rhythm and regularity. This is the time to revisit your summer rituals and revamp them for COVID-19. Rituals are important for family cohesion. Resurrecting a custom from your childhood might be the answer. Unearth photo albums from your childhood and your children’s. Share stories and bring the past alive. Create a new rhythm for summer with family dinners, game time, and movie nights to help children connect with the family.
When we ask children to make a choice, they feel more empowered and in control. That’s a good thing. If we give kids choices, they have a set list of options to choose from. What they don’t have is an endless list of options you don’t want them choosing. “Are we going to the beach at 9 a.m. to beat the crowds, or are we playing in the sprinklers today?” Did you notice two choices with limits? If your child counter offers with a Disney trip, ice cream for breakfast or some other extravagance, it’s fine to pass. Just because your child wants something, it’s OK not to give it to them. Even when life is weird or stressful!
Just remember – you’re a great parent doing the best you can during a difficult time. You got this!
By Maria Berger
Maria Berger is a licensed mental health counselor and a registered art and play therapist. Her practice, Berger Counseling Services, is located in Parkland. Maria has been serving children, teens and families for over twenty years.