On February 23, 2013, my life changed. I gained not only a beautiful baby girl but also a best friend. I am a #girldad.
After the tragic passing of Kobe Bryant, ESPN anchor Elle Duncan shared on SportsCenter a story about meeting Bryant for the first (and only) time. Bryant pridefully spoke about his three girls and his excitement over the possibility of having a fourth.
Duncan asked Bryant if he wanted more children. Without hesitation Bryant said, “I would have five more girls if I could. I’m a GIRL DAD.„ The hashtag “girldad” was born and quickly went viral. I was one of the millions of dads who reposted a picture of my daughter, Harper, and I playing basketball. In honor of Kobe, I used #girldad.
I am lucky enough to have two children, a girl (Harper, age 7) and a boy (Hudson, age 3).
I always knew I would have a great relationship with my son, as most dads do. Like many dads, however, my relationship with my daughter is just “special.”
I brag about my daughter, ad nauseam. Pictures of her are peppered throughout my office. My friends sometimes roll their eyes at me when I tell yet another story about the time Harper did “fill in the blank.”
The truth is, I am just so darn proud of her. In my eyes, she is perfect in every way.
Looking back, however, I have been the proudest of her when she and I do something together that defies stereotypes. In those moments, I know I am raising her the way Bryant raised his daughters.
Bryant, one of the most competitive and ruthless athletes of all-time, did not see gender as a barrier to his daughters having the same opportunities and privileges as boys.
In decades past, dads of girls interacted differently with them than dads of boys. Dads were expected to do traditional “boy activities” with their sons and “girl activities” with their daughters. Society placed limits on what fathers and daughters should do.
Boys played sports. Girls danced and cheered.
Boys went camping. Girls had tea parties.
Boys lead. Girls followed.
Parkland, Broward County, the world, in fact, is full of dads who have amazing relationships with their daughters. These are dads who post a myriad of pictures on social media of them with their daughters at concerts, sporting events, or catching fish. These are dads that are not embarrassed to perform in “Dancing Dads” at Dance Theater, or that take time off from work to watch their daughter perform in the school play.
Many of these dads feel the same way about their daughters’ limitless potential and want their daughters to know that they are supporting them every step of the way.
#Girldads want their daughters to be fearless, brave, assertive, take chances, make mistakes, and strive for greatness in everything they do–athletics or otherwise.
#Girldads are proud of their daughters for being true to themselves regardless of what others think they should be.
#Girldads embrace the fact that they get to experience the best of both worlds.
#Girldads always let their daughters know that they can accomplish anything–the world is their oyster!
A typical day with Harper includes dancing in the family room as well as practicing free throws.
One night we may watch Goonies or The Sandlot; the next night, The Princess Diaries or Troop Beverly Hills.
It is just as likely Harper and I will film a TikTok video or throw a football in the backyard.
The best part about living in Parkland as a #girldad may be Parkland Rec Sports. Don’t believe me? Attend a Friday Night Lights football game. #GirlDads are just as intensely cheering for their daughters as they are for their sons. The girls have a blast. The parents have a blast. It may be the best draw of Parkland – #girldads galore!
Many of the dads coach their son’s teams and their daughter’s teams. These #girldads get to the field at 5:00 p.m. and don’t leave until 9:00 p.m. They treat all their children equally.
Parkland Rec Sports is shattering stereotypes of who is an athlete.
By encouraging Harper to engage in traditional boy activities, she is gaining traits that will propel her ahead as she moves forward in life: Self-confidence, willingness to take criticism, strong sense of focus, humility, resiliency and the ability to learn from setbacks, and a sense of belonging, just to name a few. These traits are equally important to boys and girls.
A bunch of Parkland dads take their girls camping multiple times per year. Camping builds character and takes them out of their comfort zone. Some of the best conversations Harper and I have ever had are from lying in our tents discussing life or laughing about the time there was no dedicated shower area on site so I washed her off with a hose (Shh, don’t tell mom). These dads will tell you camping with their daughters is just magical.
Parkland #girldads are some of the best around. You’ll notice them now – they are the ones holding their daughter’s hand
as they walk through the mall, belting out songs in the car with the windows down, or volunteering for a role in the Enchanted Tales with Belle attraction at Disney World.
Dads – don’t be afraid to play dress up and catch with your daughter. Embrace the societal shift. Gender doesn’t dictate what she can and cannot do. Just be proud of her, empower her to lead the way, and support her choices. Hold her hand tight and tell her you love her, as there is nothing better than being a #girldad.
By Philip Snyder
Philip Snyder writes the Legal Matters column for the Parklander.