Category: Community

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Halloween 2020: Trick or treat or …?

It’s hard to imagine what Halloween celebrations will be like this year. Will there be clusters of costumed kids at the doorstep calling out “trick or treat” from under their masks? Instead of the usual masks of princesses, animals, and superheroes, will this year’s masks be nose and mouth coverings to contain germs from possible coronavirus superspreaders? Will parents regard every package of candy as being a possible COVID carrier, the wrapper on each piece needing to be washed or wiped down?

If you are looking for a socially- distanced haunted Halloween activity, you might want to check out The Horrorland, a nighttime drive-thru haunted Halloween experience being held October 1 – 31 in Miramar. We haven’t tested the fear factor, but according to their website, it is not recommended for children under 13. For more information, go to https://thehorrorland.com.

While we can’t quite predict what Halloween will be like in the present or the future, we can tell you something about its past…

Halloween history highlights

The origin of Halloween is often credited to the Celts, who lived in what is now the general area of Ireland, the United Kingdom, and northern France about 2,000 years ago. On October 31st, they celebrated the festival of Samhain, (pronounced sow-win) which marked the end of the harvest and the start of winter and a new year. Celts believed that the worlds of the living and the dead came close together at this time and that they could connect with spirits and ghosts of their ancestors.

While some spirits were thought to cause mayhem, others were thought to help see into the future. On Samhain, Celts feasted, made lanterns from hollowed-out gourds, told fortunes, built bonfires, and chose which animals would need to be slaughtered for the winter.

When Christianity reached the Celtic areas, the pagan rituals were strongly discouraged. The church recognized November 2nd as All Souls’ Day — a day to honor the dead — and November 1st as All Saints’ Day, also called All-Hallows (hallows meaning saints or holy people). Thus, October 31st was All-Hallows Eve (now known as Halloween), but the light-hearted celebrations with trick or treating, decorations, and parties we know today only evolved in the United States and Canada over time.

Colonists in New England, with their strict religious practices, did not embrace Halloween celebrations; southern colonies were more likely to celebrate by telling fortunes, sharing tales of the dead, dancing, and singing.

When Irish and Scottish immigrants came to the United States in great numbers during the second half of the 1800s, they brought their Halloween traditions with them, including community parties with games and costumes. One of the traditions that was popular around the turn of the 19th century and now long gone, was Halloween being a time for a young, unmarried woman, to foretell her future spouse. She would throw an apple peel over her shoulder, believing it would land in the shape of the first initial of her future husband, or that by looking in the mirror Halloween night, she would see an image of the man she would wed.

Halloween is big business today

  • Guess who?

According to estimates from the National Retail Federation last fall, the greatest share of the nearly $9 billion that was expected to be spent
on Halloween in 2019, was for costumes, at $3.2 billion. The newest trend? Pet costumes. Pet costumes have surged in popularity; nearly twenty percent of pet owners planned to put their pets

in costumes last year—pumpkins, hot dogs, and superheroes being among the most popular—at a cost of nearly $500 million.

  • It’s beginning to look a lot like…Halloween.

Decorating for Halloween inside and especially outside has become more elaborate with high-tech holograms, decorative lights, and giant blow-ups gaining popularity in recent years, resulting in consumers spending $2.7 billion on Halloween decorations. (2019 estimate)

  • Trick or treat, give me something good to eat.

While there was trick or treating in the 1930s and 40s, with kids going house to house to get cookies, cakes, fruit, nuts, and coins, it wasn’t until the 1950s that candy became the common hand-out. Last year’s estimate was there would be $2.6 billion spent on Halloween candy.

In 2019, candystore.com reported that between 2007-2018, the top candies sold for Halloween were: Skittles, Reese’s Cups, M&M’s, Snickers, and Starburst, followed by the candy most associated with Halloween: candy corn.

Those sweet yellow, orange, and white kernels were invented in the 1880s in Philadelphia and gained widespread popularity at the turn of the 20th century. Candy corn is made from sugar, fondant, corn syrup, vanilla flavor, and marshmallow crème melted into a liquid, colored, and molded to create the kernel shape. The vast majority of candy corn is made for Halloween, with approximately 35 million pounds of candy corn produced each year, a whopping 9 billion pieces.

And if the spirit moves you, and you want to celebrate Halloween a little early, October 30th is National Candy Corn Day.

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!

By Ellen Marsden

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Coconut Creek woman wins breast cancer battle

At the ripe old age of 32, while living your life, climbing the corporate ladder, and making plans for the future, the last thing you expect to hear is a cancer diagnosis – especially for the very rare and aggressive triple-negative breast cancer – which accounts for 10 percent of all breast cancers.

Triple-negative breast cancer is cancer that tests negative for estrogen receptors, progesterone receptors, and excess HER2 protein, making it harder to treat.

But that is exactly the diagnosis Coconut Creek resident and advertising and marketing professional Jessica Duemig, now 35, heard after discovering a lump in her breast.

To make sense of her experience, she put pen to paper (or keys to keyboard) and wrote a book about her experiences, titled, “WARRIOR,” which she self-published and is available on Amazon.

“It was total happenstance,” remembers Duemig about the night that changed her life. “I am a side sleeper and felt something in my breast that woke me up.”

Thinking nothing of it, Duemig ignored it for a couple of weeks until a month later the lump woke her up again and she decided to visit her doctor.

Her diagnosis was confirmed on Feb. 1, 2017. Three weeks later she underwent a bi-lateral mastectomy as a precaution, followed by immediate partial reconstruction, then endured chemotherapy for almost five months. Luckily, the cancer had not progressed to her lymph nodes. Six weeks after she finished chemo, she had the full reconstruction.

Duemig had her treatment at the Miami Cancer Institute, part of Baptist Health and the Memorial Sloan Kettering (MSK) Cancer Alliance.

With no family history of breast cancer, no BRACA 1 or 2 gene, Duemig says there was “no logical reason” to suspect she would have breast cancer at such a young age. She notes that typically mammograms are not even recommended for women under the age of 40.

“I could have been sitting there for eight years before I found this,” she says ruefully.

During those trying months, Duemig founded a community of family and friends on Facebook where she created Livestream videos of her daily struggles as a way to stay connected and keep her friends and family in the loop.

She used these videos as fodder for her book.

On her LinkedIn profile, she says: “This book is a testament to the process, from detection, through diagnosis into treatment and ultimately recovery. It’s emotional and funny and real – and it’s my story.”

“My hope is that this book can be the support warriors need and that reading it will unlock the “F*ck this” attitude it will take to come out on top,” she says.

Lindsay Oerter, a teacher from Royal Palm Beach, and her mom, Karen Boland, of Loxahatchee and herself a breast cancer survivor, were two of the viewers who tuned in regularly to support Duemig.

“I always knew she was a tough girl and someone who gets things done,” says Oerter, who is a friend from Wellington High School. “I had no doubt in my mind that Jess would get through this. That’s her.”

With no family history on her mother’s side, Boland, who retired after 23 years at Publix, and fought breast cancer along with two of her sisters, was told she inherited the predisposition from her father’s side of the family, something she did not realize was possible.

On a trip to Connecticut to visit her mom, Boland read a preliminary version of Duemig’s book.

“Jess’s writing style keeps you interested and engaged,” Boland says. “I would recommend it for a family member or anyone going through something similar.”

Writing the book was therapeutic for Duemig, during her nine-month journey.

“I wrote the guidebook I wished I had,” she says. “What to expect and what’s normal, both from the physical and emotional standpoints.”

What advice does she have for other women going through a similar experience?

“If you feel something is wrong, get it checked out,” she says. “It’s better to be proven wrong than to let something linger.”

“And,” she says, “whatever your feelings are, just know they are normal.”

Now, three years later, Duemig received her diagnosis of ‘cured’ last Feb. 29. (According to Duemig, with Triple Negative Breast Cancer a cured designation is given after three years, and not five as in other types of cancer.)

“As bad as it was, this could have been so much worse,” says Duemig. “I went into it with a “f*ck this” attitude – mind over matter. The minute you lay down and give in – it will win.”

Duemig didn’t hold back in her writing, putting a realistic/optimistic spin on the book.

“I had to look at all the good things that can come from this experience,” says Duemig. “I know myself better. I have the ability to make hard decisions.”

“Harness that power,” she says. “If you can beat cancer, what can’t you do?”

“WARRIOR” is available on Amazon and other online booksellers.

By Jan Engoren

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Coral Springs man speaks, writes on family’s triple tragedy

Limelight – an intense white light created by heating a cylinder of quicklime, used for dramatic effect in 19th century theater.

As an actor and producer, Coral Springs resident Joseph Velez, 57, never expected that one day his own family would be the focus of such an unforgiving glare.

With film credits ranging from Robert De Niro’s 2019 “The Irishman” to the
2010 locally filmed A&E TV series “TheGlades” to the hit Netflix show “Stranger Things,” Velez was used to seeing himself on-screen playing fictional roles.

But in a kind of twisted triple indemnity motivated by insurance fraud, Velez found himself in the middle of three very real deaths — one his own mother — all allegedly plotted by his half-brother.

They were deaths with a gun, a plastic bag, and the killer’s own two hands. They were deaths with a common motive — insurance money. They were deaths of people all known by the suspect, the half-brother, who is now serving a life sentence, but only for one of the killings, that of his own 15-month-old son, Prince.

Velez, a former Marine who served three tours in Afghanistan during Operation Desert Storm, is writing a book and producing and hosting a podcast about the cases.

The story unfolds over the span of a decade, beginning on Mar. 19, 2003, when a young mother, Shawn Katrina Mason, was shot and killed in her Manassas, (Prince William County) VA., condominium.

Five years later, in Nov. 2008, an older woman, Alma Rosa Collins, also of Prince William County, was found dead with a plastic bag over her head. The death was ruled a suicide but Velez doesn’t believe it.

Alma Rosa Collins was his mother.

Police had one person in custody after the killing of Mason, the half-brother of Velez, Joaquin Rams, born as John Anthony Ramirez. He was released for lack of evidence.

Prince Elias McCleod Rams was found dead in Manassas in October 2012, at the home of his father Joaquin. Rams and the boy’s mother, Hera McCleod, were divorced and a court had granted Rams unsupervised visits.

Rams was Mason’s ex-boyfriend. He was the son of the second victim and the father of the third. It was later learned Rams had life insurance policies with his name as the beneficiary of all three of the victims.

Hera McCleod, now an activist for children’s rights in Seattle, wrote in a
blog, “Trusting the Virginia police ended up being one of the biggest mistakes of my life. Instead of helping to keep my family safe, they helped my abuser.”

It’s inconceivable to Velez that authorities ruled his mom’s death a suicide. Velez and his mother’s sister, Elva Carabello, strongly dispute the finding.

In the death of Collins, Rams collected insurance of more than $150,000. He had taken out three policies totaling half-a-million dollars on his then, new-born son, and was receiving Social Security benefits from the death of Mason, the mother of his first son, Joaquin, Jr.


Rams, now 48, was arrested in 2013 for the murder of his son, Prince. After a 12-day bench trial, he was sentenced to life in prison without parole. He is serving time in the Red Onion State Prison, a supermax facility in Virginia. Authorities are taking another look at the other two deaths.

For Velez, writing a book and producing the podcasts has been a journey tougher than his three tours in Afghanistan.

The book is titled, “Shadows Of My Soul – Objects in the Mirror are Closer Than They Appear.” The podcast for iHeart Radio, Spotify, and Apple iTunes is called “The C.O.D.E. (Cause of Death Explained) of Silence.”

Velez also founded The B.A.R.E. Project (Butterflies/Angels/ Rescue/Echo) to honor his mother, Alma Rosa Collins, Mason, and Prince McLeod.

“We must honor them and the countless other innocent lives that have been taken that never had a chance to speak out for help,” he says.

Visit Shadows of My Soul on Facebook to stay up-to-date on the latest news. The book will be available on Amazon.com. The podcast, “The C.O.D.E. (Cause of Death Explained) of Silence” will be available on iHeart Radio, Spotify, Apple iTunes, and other streaming services.

 

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MSD senior spreads sunshine and kindness

Freshman year at Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School was difficult
for Daniel Tabares, then 17.

It was the year of the worst tragedy in the school’s history when 17 students and staff were murdered and Tabares lost friends.

He was sad and depressed and only when he became involved with the
Parkland March For Our Lives rally on Mar. 24, 2018 as a featured speaker, did he find his calling.

“I may seem serious,” says Tabares. “But once you get to know me, I’m
funny, outgoing, and always kind. Sometimes people have preconceived notions about people who look different, but don’t always trust your first impressions and give people a chance.”

Born with achondroplasia, a bone growth disorder, Tabares is not unfamiliar with the unkindness of strangers.

Achondroplasia is the most common type of dwarfism. It is a genetic
condition that affects about 1 in 15,000 to 1 in 40,000 people.

Emmy-award winner Peter Dinklage, who portrayed Tyrion Lannister on the wildly popular TV series, “Game of Thrones,” has the condition.

“I’ve been through so much,” he says, noting that he’s been called names, been excluded and stared at, not to mention undergone more than 10 surgeries.

“It’s no fun,” he says.

At the rally, Tabares spoke about how he was feeling and says he was quoted on CNN as saying, “Give yourself a hug like there’s no tomorrow.”

His inspirational words had an effect on those around him and boosted his morale and confidence.

From that day on, Tabares was a changed person and no longer depressed.

He had found his voice.

Daniel Tabares

“It’s a crazy world,” he says, “and maybe someone is going through a lot, and a kind word is all they need to get through their day.”

He has taken to sharing his kind words and inspirational messages on his social media and with the residents of Parkland as he rides from one end of Holmberg Rd. to the other on his bike showcasing his inspirational signs.

He counts his dad, Luis, as a role model (and for his good looks) and says he’s inspired by Martin Luther King Jr., Mahatma Gandhi, and Mother Theresa.

“You’re amazing,” proclaims one sign. “Be the change you want to see in the world,” says another, paraphrasing Gandhi. His LinkedIn page states, “Dreams and dedication are a powerful combination.”

Another sign declared not only black lives matter, but Latino, disabled, and LGBTQ lives as well.

He took Gandhi’s message to heart and challenges himself to be the change he wants to see.

Now, in his senior year at MSD and co-president of the Student Board of The Friendship Journey and Ambassador of Wings of Friendship, Tabares hopes to be a speech- language pathologist or a motivational speaker, and his dream since second grade is to attend the University of Florida.

This summer he was a lead counselor and student ambassador in an 8-week virtual camp for people with disabilities and was inspired by the students’ empathy for others.

The camp, sponsored by Dylan’s Wings of Change (DWC), is a non-profit foundation dedicated to the memory of Dylan Hockley, a student killed in the mass shooting at Sandy Hook Elementary School in 2012 along with 19 other first-graders and six teachers.

They partnered with the locally-based The Friendship Journey, with its mission to educate, empower, and include individuals across all cognitive and physical abilities.

Tabares said coming to the camp allows participants to be fully themselves and share their true colors with others.

“I’m thankful for that,” he says.

After the Parkland shootings, Tabares was invited to Pittsburgh to receive the first Loving Kindness Award from the Pittsburgh JCC’s Center for Loving Kindness, where 11 people lost their lives and six were wounded in a mass shooting at the Tree of Life Synagogue in Oct. 2018.

Rabbi Ron Symons, the director of Pittsburgh JCC’s Center for Loving Kindness, says Tabares was selected for the award “because he exudes kindness in every way.”

“When we met him after the shootings in Parkland and Pittsburgh, we met a person with a depth of optimism and soul that few adults have,” Symons says. “No matter what he does throughout his life, I am confident that my friend and teacher, Danny Tabares, will inspire thousands.”

 

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4 Rivers Smokehouse

Something special happens when you greet your favorite cut of meat with heat and smoke from a well-prepared BBQ. The essence of the smoke and the slow cooking process creates some of the most flavorful foods you will find throughout the world.

R Smokehouse

Our community is incredibly lucky to have a great BBQ smokehouse right in the middle of Coral Springs.  4 Rivers Smokehouse is well known all over Florida for its hickory-smoked BBQ. Named after the Rivers family, our local Coral Springs location is a great place to get your fi ll of juicy brisket.

Lean and Juicy Brisket with Smoked Sausages

Smoked brisket is the quintessential smoked meat cut. The process of building the fire, managing the temperature, and seasoning the meat is a ritual found in many backyards.The delicate smokey flavor can not be easily created by a propane grill and often takes at least half a day to BBQ correctly. At 4 Rivers Smokehouse, they have done all the work, and all you need to bring is your appetite.

4 Rivers Smokehouse prepares everything from scratch to achieve those authentic BBQ flavors. They spend 18 hours smoking their brisket so you can pick it up in a jiffy. You have a choice of lean or juicy cuts and can enjoy it in various ways – sandwich, tacos, or bunless. My preference is a bunless, juicy cut; biting into it, you can taste the sweet hickory-smoke infused
into the beef. Heaven, if you love beef.

Burnt Ends, sweet and tangy, is another favorite choice. At 4 Rivers Smokehouse, they come in beef, chicken, and pork. For vegetarians who want to enjoy the smoked flavor, BeyondMeatTM Burnt Ends are also available, so you don’t miss out on the great smokey experience.

The real challenge is saving room for dessert, and they have some great ones on the menu right now. Their Tipsy Cowboy Cake, made with real bourbon, is delicious. The best is their Krispy Kreme donut bread pudding, made with real Krispy Kreme donuts; it’s an indulgence worth saving room for.

One of my favorites is currently only available on their catering menu – BBQ wings. These wings are smoked in the same hickory-smoke as the brisket. The result is meat that is tender, juicy, and full of flavor. You must try it if you decide to have 4 Rivers Smokehouse cater your events.

During the past few months, catering, curbside, and delivery has been very popular. As Broward slowly reopens, the spacious dining room has reopened as well with social distancing protocols in place. With the fall season, some favorites like sweet potato casserole and smoked jalapeños are back on the menu.

Monday through Saturday from 11 a.m.-8 p.m. (Closed Sundays)
2660 NORTH UNIVERSITY DRIVE CORAL SPRINGS, FL 33065
Phone: (844) 474-8377

By Curiously Hungry

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Broward County Sheriff Candidates Q&A 2020

To further assist our readers in making educated decisions when voting in November, we have sent a list of questions to each candidate running for the Sheriff of Broward County.

Gregory Tony

  1. What is your full name and what position are you running for?

Gregory Tony running for Sheriff of Broward County

 

2. Where are you originally from? Why did you choose to move to this city/county/school district/state district? How long have you been here?

 I was born in raised in Philadelphia Pennsylvania.. I received my Bachelors degree from Florida State University and moved to Broward County to join the Coral Springs Police Department where I served for 15 years before starting a business and, eventually, accepting command of the Broward Sheriff’s Office.

 

3. Why are you running for this position? 

I am running for Sheriff to put the training and policies in place that will guarantee the highest level of public safety for the residents of Broward County while promoting community trust with greater accountability, transparency, and diversity.

-Have you run in the past? 

No.

 

4. If elected, what is your first point of action? 

I will continue improving training, technology, and policy to provide the best public safety services while building better community trust.

-Why? 

When I accepted command of the Broward Sheriff’s Office, it was clear that better training and greater accountability was necessary to bring the agency up to the standards that Broward County residents expect and deserve.  The agency’s response during the mass shootings at Marjorie Stoneman Douglas High School and the Fort Lauderdale Hollywood International Airport uncovered massive deficiencies in training and policy. Upon accepting command, I immediately revamped and improved active shooter training, expanded the Real Time Crime Center to allow BSO to monitor school campuses in real-time, installed bleed kits in every school, and reformed BSO’s incident command policies and structure.  I will continue to do what is necessary to improve school and public safety and to repair the public trust by holding our officers accountable, expanding community policing, and building diversity throughout the agency.

5. What mission do you feel most passionate about? 

The mission I am most passionate about is improving the relationship between law enforcement and the communities we serve.

-Why?

As a Black child growing up in a community filled with violence and destructive police-community tension, I experienced firsthand the difference good policing can make in a neighborhood and in an individual’s life.  The early experiences I had in Philadelphia inform me daily about the importance of trust between law enforcement and the communities we serve.

 

6. Where do you feel our city needs improvement?

Improving public safety and rebuilding public trust are top priorities in Parkland and all municipalities in Broward County.

-Why? 

Rebuilding trust between Parkland residents and BSO continues to be a challenge after MSD.  It is a challenge the entire agency and the Parkland District hopes will be met with better service and improved community outreach.

7. How do you plan to involve residents in the decision-making process in our town? 

District’s Neighborhood Support Team is working with the Parkland District and residents to identify challenges unique to Parkland.  While these efforts have been somewhat curtailed during the COVID-19 pandemic, The District Command continues to engage residents as venues and technology allow.

H. Wayne Clark will be running against Gregory Tony. Our attempts to reach him were unsuccessful.

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My pre-COVID self lies just under the surface, waiting to emerge

Neil and I along with millions of others are entering another month of primarily staying home. As I wrote last month, I recognize that as time continues and projects wane, I have to think of new ways to spend my time in a productive manner. Let me catch you up.

Mickey Booboo is growing in leaps and bounds. He is learning many new things daily. Some I like, others I tolerate. When the devil dog emerges, we butt heads. He is vocal, opinionated, happy, and confident (he certainly takes after the two of us). He occupies a large portion of my day and I laugh out loud
at his antics, tell numerous Mickey stories to anyone who will listen, and enjoy our exercise program of walking and swimming. Yes, Mickey is a true water dog and swims all over the pool catching bubbles and bugs. I love my time with him and have looked to augment only a small portion of the day with other things.

Neil is busy with his many undertakings, yet makes time to play two-handed Canasta with me at least once a day. Besides his business and the HOA, he is working to create a mentoring program with the Broward County
Board of Education. Although we are both in the house, we generally are separate except for the card game, dinner, and whatever after-dinner activity we plan.

The biggest enhancement I have made is for my friends to occupy more of my time again. I now play both Canasta and Mah Jongg online with friends (simultaneously using Houseparty) three afternoons a week, I have a couple
of friends over to swim one day each week, and try to do an occasional lunch, dinner, or coffee and dessert outside (socially distant). By creating a regular recurring weekly schedule of these things, I am more satisfied both socially and having utilized my time in a positive way. This addition has made a world of difference.

I continue to try new recipes, and while some turn out to be delicious, others have been mediocre at best. Prepping and cooking combined with planning a shopping list for Walmart pickup occupies a number of hours, and this is something I have thoroughly enjoyed.

My cousin Sharry has tried a number of my creations and shares many of
hers with me. Again, I think I always get the better end of this deal as hers are
always delicious.

While I have nearly run out of house projects, there is one remaining that I have consistently hesitated to start. The project is going through all of my and my mom’s old photographs. I know that this should be done as it will preserve family history for my grandchildren, but somehow, I dread the poignant, emotional hours and days it will entail. Maybe I’ll start this month.

There is a word that describes my life during the pandemic: Pentimento. It is the reappearance in a painting of an underlying image that had been painted over, usually when the later painting becomes transparent with age. The earlier image may be visible initially, become visible with age, or revealed through X-rays. I feel that way about my life now. I have changed the surface of my life, substituting things that enable me to be happier in my new normal, but the elements of my previous way of life are still there, under the surface, waiting to emerge. I pray for a vaccine.

 

By Jill Vogel

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Building, project permits protect the homeowner

When contemplating plumbing, electrical, or structural work in your home, it is wise to touch base with the city building department about permit requirements.

A permit protects you, assuring that the work has been done according to building code. It assures you that the contractor and sub-contractors are properly licensed. For example, if unlicensed work was done and you have to file an insurance claim because of a problem, your homeowner insurance company may not approve the claim if the work was done without a permit.

Permits are also important if you are selling. A buyer’s home inspector will check to see if any work done had a permit. Trouble may occur if a permit is obtained but the work was not completed and the permit closed out.

The title company or law firm handling a closing will also check to see if any permits filed for have been properly closed out. Open or unclosed permits may delay a closing.

Importantly, when it comes time to sell your home, you will be able to show that all work was properly done by permit and inspected by the city building department. The buyers will feel comfortable that your home is safe.

Inspectors will come over to inspect at different points along the renovation/ construction project to make sure that from beginning to end the work has been done to code.

By Kathy Schroeder

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Couple apologizes for taking in school shooter

James and Kimberly Snead, the Parkland couple that took in Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School shooter Nikolas Cruz, issued a written apology for their actions at the end of July.

The apology is part of a legal agreement settling negligence suits against the couple as a result of the 2018 tragedy in which 17 people were killed.

“The settlement also calls for them to pay $1 to the victims and forbids them or their lawyer from speaking of or profiting from the story of the massacre.” The South Florida Sun-Sentinel reported.

The text of their apology follows:

We, JAMES and KIMBERLY SNEAD, will forever regret taking NIKOLAS CRUZ into our home. We did so believing we were helping a troubled young man who needed help. We are profoundly sorry for the actions and inactions which may have contributed to Nikolas Cruz’s ability to carry out the murders on February 14, 2018.

Despite warnings from Rocxanne Deschamps, his prior caretaker, and Kathy Blaine, a relative of Nikolas Cruz, we allowed Nikolas Cruz to move in with us.

Ms. Deschamps informed us of warning signs of his behavior, which occurred in her home, and that he had chosen to keep his rifle over continuing to live with her.

Kathy Blaine informed us that Nikolas Cruz was violent, dangerous, infatuated with guns and knives, untrustworthy, and threatened to kill people on Instagram, among other things.

We thought we could handle this troubled young man, unfortunately, we were wrong.

We were particularly wrong to allow him to store his firearms in our house, including the AR-15 used in this tragedy. We believed the firearms were secured in a gun safe under lock and key. We believed we had the only key, yet, somehow Nikolas Cruz was able to access the AR-15 before he attacked Stoneman Douglas.

We want people to learn from our mistakes and experience. Before considering bringing a troubled young person (particularly a teen) into your home, you should consider your safety, the safety of your family, and the safety of the community at large. You are assuming this danger.

If they have a history or exhibit any warning signs, you must immediately get him or her the professional help they need, and contact law enforcement. Don’t just naively think that you can handle it yourself.

And make sure you securely lock any and all firearms, and also make sure you keep any and all keys in your sole control. Don’t just think you have custody of the key. Know it.

And review the person’s social media, regularly. Troubled persons so often foretell the violence that they’re going to commit on social media.

Lastly, when you see something, say something to the law enforcement, to mental-health professionals, to everyone.

Sincerely,
James and Kimberly Snead

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SoFlo Gardening: September 2020

What to Plant

Annuals/Bedding plants: Try ageratum, celosia, zinnia, and wax begonia for color in the fall.

Bulbs: Add color, texture, and patterns to the garden with the many varieties of elephant’s ear (Alocasia spp.), calla, narcissus, and zephyr lily.

Herbs: Plant Mexican tarragon, mint, rosemary, and basil.

Fruits & Vegetables: It is time to establish strawberry plants. Veggies to plant now are broccoli, carrots, cabbage, collards, and many others.

What to Do

Lawns: Continue to monitor the lawn for signs of insect damage. Fall armyworms, chinch bugs, mole crickets, and sod webworms are still active this month.

Fertilizer Bans: Numerous municipalities in South Florida prohibit the application of fertilizer to lawns and/or landscape plants during the summer rainy season (June–September). See if such an ordinance exists in your area.

Vegetable gardens: Prepare the fall vegetable garden if not done in August. Using transplants from your local garden center will get the garden off to a fast start, but seeds provide a wider variety from which to choose.

Perennials and bulbs: Divide and replant perennials and bulbs that have grown too large or need rejuvenation. Add organic matter to planting beds and monitor water needs during establishment.

Irrigation: Check that irrigation systems are providing good coverage and operating properly before summer rains taper off.

Citrus: Fertilize citrus with a balanced fertilizer either this month or in October. Use controlled-release nitrogen because rain will not leach it from the soil too quickly.

Source: University of Florida IFAS Extension

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Ask Dr. Renae: Household chore discord

Dear Dr. Renae,

I am constantly in trouble for not completing my chores at the exact time my mom wants them done. For example, I like to relax after dinner and take care of the dishes later. My mother yells at me for not doing them immediately after dinner. The same goes for taking out the garbage, making my bed, taking care of my laundry and hanging up my clothes. I get it all done, just not in the time frame my mother unfairly demands. I am called disrespectful and inconsiderate, neither of which are true. This is ruining our relationship as I do not want to spend time with my mother or even talk to her when she is always angry with me. I would like to be able to relax and have peace in my home. Please help!

14-year-old Daughter

Dear 14-year-old Daughter,

I procrastinate too. I find that it is best to complete my chores right away, so that you don’t have to worry about it later. Relaxing after chores will be much more rewarding that way. I suggest completing your chores on time and see if your mother continues to bother you. Mothers often take on domestic duties on top of being a caregiver and having a job, which is all incredibly stressful. She may be stressed about other things and misdirecting her anger on to you. Sit down with your mother and tell her that you value your relationship with her, but that it has been strained due to arguments over chores.

High School Sophomore

Dear 14-year-old Daughter,

I completely understand what you mean. Just try to understand your mom just wants you to adapt to doing chores on your own accord, as opposed to her having to tell you to do it. If you do it immediately, it saves both you and her unnecessary stress and strain on the relationship. If it’s an imperative problem, simply talk to your mother about how you feel.

Your Friend

Dear 14-year-old Daughter,

I feel you. As the daughter of a strict mother myself, I understand the struggle. In most cases parents tend to want things done their way in a timely and efficient manner. Anything otherwise would be considered procrastination and laziness, right? I’d recommend trying to communicate compromises with your mother and share your thoughts with her. A strong and positive relationship is all we ask for from our mothers and vice versa. Try to compromise on a time frame in which chores or other responsibilities should be completed that comply with both of you. Be realistic and consistent. Ensure that your chores are completed when you say they will be on your agreed terms. Build trust between both of you. You are responsible and respectful, make sure she grows to notice that. You’ve got this!

A 17-year-old Peer

Dear 14-year-old Daughter,

I totally feel you. The best advice I can give you is to start by doing your tasks when she tells you to do them. Now hear me out. Talking with a parent can be difficult if they are angry. If you do your chores on time for a couple of days, your mom will be satisfied with your efforts of listening to her. Her being in a happy state is the perfect time to communicate how being called disrespectful and inconsiderate is harsh when you do get your work done. She will be more understanding of how you feel. You can also try to sort out a time frame of when to do chores. Maybe you can rest 15 minutes and then get to doing your work. Just remember, there’s a better chance your mom will listen to you if she sees you putting in an effort to satisfy her.

Been There

Dear 14-year-old Daughter,

Your mom is trying to raise you to take care of your responsibilities and sounds frustrated in her efforts. Adults suffer consequences for not adhering to deadlines, such as late fees for paying bills past the due date, and accounts canceled. The consequences in those adult situations are applied without argument or discussion, just like your grade in the class automatically going down when you are late in handing in assignments. Some chores need to be done within a very specific time frame in order for the household to remain hygienic, clean, peaceful, and calm. For example, dishes need to be washed before food cakes on or insects crawl around. Garbage needs to be emptied before it overflows or smells. You might want to request a swap for chores that can be done in a less pressured time frame, such as once a day or twice a week whenever you wish, such as vacuuming or laundry. If that does not appeal to you and your mom, and you decide to keep the same chores, you can establish a written contract with the time/day each chore is to be completed. For example – dinner dishes within fifteen minutes after dinner time or garbage to be brought to curb by 6:00 am on garbage days. If you and your mom have previously discussed consequences, that should eliminate the need to argue. You will automatically lose a privilege for not complying, similar to school and adult life. You might find that you are awarded more privileges such as a later curfew and learning to drive when your mom sees you being more responsible for doing your chores without reminders.

Dr. Renae

 

 

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