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Many students are anxious this school year, and the COVID situation makes things even more tense. A lot of students were not in school last year and did classes virtually. This school year, they wonder: Mask or no mask? Is it safe? Is it uncomfortable?

In addition, there are the usual anxieties: Will my best friend still want to be my friend? Will I have nice teachers? Will I remember how to multiply fractions or read articles in Spanish?

If we adults feel stress and strain, so do young people. As a teacher and counselor, even before COVID, the number of tweens and teens with migraines, irritable bowel syndrome, and other stress-related symptoms disheartened me. One teen had hands that trembled as if she had Parkinson’s. Another developed sensitivity to socks and underwear and couldn’t attend school. The parents took her to an allergist, who determined there were no allergies, but rather an emotional reaction to school.

Students often told me they were terrified of getting a “B” as they were supposed to bring home “A”s. There would be severe repercussions if they brought home anything less. This was especially true with gifted students. And there were parents who would email within minutes of any quiz posted if there were a grade lower than expected.

Young people are especially sensitive. They will be devastated if their best friend makes friends with a new student, or someone decides not to speak to them for a day. As parents, there are things we can do to make life easier for our children and alleviate some of their angst.

Do not minimize their anxiety. Young people cringe at the thought “these are the best years of your life.” No, they are not. Any adult who believes middle school is the best of times has a poor memory. You are too short or too tall. Your skin breaks out. You are overweight and never get picked for teams. You are the only girl who doesn’t need a bra. You hate your braces. Your nose has suddenly grown. Your once-pretty hair is now frizzy. You question your gender identity. Your family doesn’t have the means to get you the latest styles. You cannot comprehend chemistry.

To be told that these are the best of times makes most teens think, “Please, that can’t be true.” Many of these young people are feeling unhappy, frightened, and unworthy. To be told that they should be happy, should appreciate being young and “free,” makes them feel angry and more anxious: “What is wrong with me?”

Parents can do things to help. First, find where students can get encouragement. For example, a student is dyslexic and feels bad. His handwriting is illegible and his reading needs improvement. Get him help with the reading, either an after-school program, a tutor, or with programs he can work on, like Study Island. Reading is vital for all subjects, but don’t overdo it. Half an hour a day can help. Don’t do more or they will resent it. If you use a tutor, make sure they are not doing the student’s work, but showing how to do the work.

Equally important: Find an activity where the student gets “positive strokes,” like sports, music, karate, art, astronomy, or chess. They gain confidence; there is something they are good at. They will make like-minded friends. This is a win-win situation, especially important for introverts.

Be warned, however, that often young people will try several things before finding one that fits. Don’t see this as them “quitting,” but rather trying things out. That is normal, and hopefully they will find something and stick with it.

One young man was so shy he didn’t speak with anyone in class. His breakthrough came when he mentioned he had six dogs. A club I sponsored, “Builders’ Club,” raised money for charities. He was encouraged to join. He raised money for the Humane Society and in this endeavor had to speak to people. He became president of the club and came out of his shell. He is now in college and is outgoing and friendly.

The greatest gift a parent can give a child having any type of difficulties, academic or social, is to listen and commiserate. Do not dismiss their unhappiness. Let them know you are there for them. But don’t immediately try to fix it. Instead, when they come home with a problem or a situation, listen. When they have finished expressing their feelings, and you have allowed them to vent without jumping in, ask, “What do you think you can do about this?” Allow them to think aloud and present various scenarios. Ask them “Which idea sounds best to you?” and “If that doesn’t work, what else might you do?” This is powerful. It allows people to “try on” different approaches and gives them the correct idea: They have the means to fix things, to meet life’s challenges.

To do this means that time is set aside in your day to allow them to share with you while you listen with undivided attention. In our house, it was dinner. No matter what, we ate as a family and heard the events of the day. “What went well? Was there a problem?” “What did you learn today?” “What happened that made you happy?” Perhaps cook or do the dishes together.

I used to pick up my son from school. On the walk home, our time to talk was stopping for pizza or a treat. With my daughter, Saturday mornings were our “girl time.” We had brunch out and she shared stories about friends, gymnastic class, and why she loved her music teacher.

There will be times when your child might tell you, “My teacher is still not calling on me,” “Johnny is bullying me,” or “Sandra called me fat,” which may require parent intervention. But these should be the rare times.

For most incidents and daily angst, encourage them to think through ways to alleviate situations. This is a great practice not just for dealing with school, but for dealing with life.

Parkland resident Thelma Fail celebrated her 102nd birthday on Sept. 24. Life was different when she was born in 1919.

When Fail was a child growing up in Florida, there was no air conditioning and people stayed cool with outings to the beach for the ocean breeze, using trees for shade, sitting on their porches, or cooling down with fans.

Much of Broward County was considered uninhabitable because of the Everglades. At that time, Wiles Road was a two-lane road with a canal, farms dotted the landscape, and residents rode horses up and down State Road 7 and Wiles Road.

Fail moved to what is now Parkland in 1978 and currently lives in the same house she lived in with her third husband, Willis Fail, who passed away in 2001.

The year Fail was born, life expectancy for women was only 56. The world was recovering from World War I, the Treaty of Versailles was signed, and Europe was under reconstruction. Refugees were returning home and being resettled, and the Spanish flu pandemic was wreaking havoc around the world. The 19th Amendment to the Constitution, giving women the right to vote, was passed by Congress in June of that year, and sheep were grazing on the White House lawn in Washington, DC.

One of the most tumultuous years in American history, that decade saw race riots, anarchist bombings, the Red Scare, and the stock market crash of 1929. The year 1919 saw the end of the Progressive Era, the beginning of anti-immigration laws, an attempt to “return to normalcy,” and the approach of the decadent Roaring ’20s.

Over her 102 years, Fail saw it all — another world war, another global outbreak (this time of COVID-19), social justice protests by Black Lives Matter, refugees (this time Afghan) being resettled, and instead of sheep on the White House lawn, there were extremists and insurrectionists.

The more things change, the more they stay the same.

Of course, technology has evolved during Fail’s lifetime — things such as television, computers and the internet, smartphones, microwaves, digital cameras, men and women in space, and social media.

Fail spent many years in Winter Haven, FL, where she worked at the local Publix for more than 25 years and retired from there.

“She’s a wonderful Christian woman,” says daughter-in-law Lynn Yoos, a firefighter/paramedic with Palm Beach County Fire Rescue. “She always had advice and knowledge of her life to share with you when you needed it. She was always there for her family.

“To this day, Thelma is so loving and sweet and still a fabulous cook,” Yoos says. “Thelma would cook Christmas and Thanksgiving dinners, and you knew you would have the most wonderful food. To this day she still bakes and makes her famous brownies.

“She created a real feeling of love and family,” Yoos remembers. “She always made her guests feel important and special.”

Carol Fail, Thelma’s daughter-in-law, lives next door to Thelma. She remembers her throwing dinners and parties for friends and family. “She was a great planner. Everyone always got along with one another,” she says.

“We love her to death,” says Carol Fail.

“We all want her to know we say, ‘Thanks, Mom, we love you.’”

Coral Springs collage artist Janet Gold emerged as a street artist (with permission) during last spring’s COVID-19 quarantine.

Busy working in her Tamarac studio and applying for grants and other opportunities, her trajectory changed when she was selected for her first Collage as Street Art residency through Kolaj magazine.

The premise of the residency is to bring collage to street art in the manner of Banksy, Keith Haring, Basquiat, and Shepard Fairey.

Not an underground artist, Gold has been a board member of Fort Lauderdale’s Art in Public Places, the Coral Springs Museum of Art, and the National Association of Women Artists/Florida Chapter.

The prolific artist, who twice won the South Florida Cultural Consortium Fellowship (1999 and 2008) and who has had her work on exhibit at both the Coral Springs and the Boca Raton museums of art, was thrilled to be accepted as one of 15 collage artists from around the world.

“I’m not your typical street artist,” says Gold, the former first lady of Coral Springs (her husband, Roy Gold, was mayor of that city from 2010 to 2012).

“I had to pick an issue to bring to the streets,” Gold says.  “This is a different audience and different venue than my museum-quality collages.”

“In this project-driven collage residency, artists delve into the history, methods, and major artists of the ‘street art’ movement with an emphasis on collage,” says Christopher Kurts of Kolaj Magazine.

“Participants put these methods into practice, taking their collage art out into the streets while documenting the entire process, which will be published in a Kolaj Street Krewe book later this year.”

Not comfortable tagging her city at night, in the dark, dressed in black, Gold sought and got permission from five venues in and around Broward County to display the results of her residency, a project she calls “EVERYBODY’S EVERYTHING.”

The title refers to the theme of gender fluidity, and Gold’s large figurative collages depict mixed-and-matched body parts showcasing her take on the social movement.

Using images she cuts from vintage fashion magazines, she reimagines the stories they tell.

In August 2020, Gold installed her works under the moniker “Criminal Collage with Permission,” at the Coral Springs Museum of Art, the Art Gallery 21 in Wilton Manors, the Cook and the Cork restaurant in Coral Springs, and the Girls’ Club and FATVillage, both in Fort Lauderdale.

“Janet’s work is very interesting, especially considering that it is collaged work created to be a mural on a building’s exterior,” says FATVillage’s founder, Doug McCraw. “By employing different anatomical photos to compose multiple aspects of gender and identity, Janet’s created a contemporary commentary on her subject matter.

“She has a very experienced composition aesthetic and a wonderful way of expressing herself through her art.”

At the Cook and the Cork restaurant, Gold’s collage depicts a female model’s head with long dark hair abruptly juxtaposed with a second woman’s torso and exposed breasts, partially covered by that model’s long blonde hair. A large feminine hand holding a lit cigarette dominates the foreground, while a pair of androgenous legs in mid-stride, clad in jeans and black-and-white Converse completes the image.

The high-fashion images are at once edgy and provocative and highlight the artist’s perspective that we all exist in each other.

Constance Ruppender of Art Gallery 21, who exhibited Gold’s past works in a one-woman show at her gallery, says, “I admire Janet as an artist, and as a doer. She doesn’t just make art. She puts her creations out to the universe with an open heart and inspires others.”

For Gold, who has been in museums and galleries and the recipient of a number of grants, winning the Kolaj residency is the icing on the cake. And while she will be retiring her tag name, we’re sure we’ll see a lot more work by Janet Gold in the future.

Unfortunately, for too many people, there is still a stigma associated with mental illness. It’s a shame and it must change. No one chooses to have anxiety or depression or to have a child diagnosed as bipolar. Of course, no one chooses to have cancer either.

Instead of exploring why there is a stigma, I have started an organization, the Mental Wellness Networking Alliance (MWNA), that is committed to “Break the Stigma” for as far as we can reach.

I began the organization with other community leaders shortly after we lost our second teenager in a week, only one year and one month after the tragedy at Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School. Both of our local teenagers experienced unspeakable trauma that day. When I heard about Calvin Desir losing his life, I committed to do something different in my capacity as a concerned dad, as a local leader, and as the son of Marcia Brook, in order to save lives.

You see, I tragically lost my mom, Marcia, to suicide when I was only 23 and she was 58. My family was devastated. We had no idea my mother was ill. She visited me in May 1987 in New Orleans when I graduated from Tulane with an MBA. She seemed a little sad at times, but I thought her emotions were more involved with her pride and love than with any mental illness. However, this article is not about me or my loss. Rather, this is about us. Too many groups of people suffer with mental health challenges in silence. Suicide disproportionally affects numerous populations, including veterans, teenagers, young Black males, and others.

What can you do to help prevent suicide during the month of September, Suicide Prevention Awareness Month? You can reach out to a loved one whom you sense has been going through some difficult times and be present for that person. You can share 2-1-1 as a great resource to help those in crisis, as well as the Suicide Prevention Hotline at (800) 227-TALK.

You also can join me and others, including several mental health professionals, at our next MWNA meeting on Sept. 14 at Keller Williams, 3301 N. University Drive, for dialogue, connection, and education. On Sept. 23, MWNA is joining forces with the Veterans Networking Alliance to raise money to help with education, advocacy, and treatment. The event will be at the Coral Springs Museum of Art, and you can email me for tickets at scott@scottjbrookpa.com or find us on Facebook.

If you or someone you know needs help, please seek it. At MWNA, our vision is that we live in a world where mental wellness is equally as vital as physical wellness. An injury above the shoulders should not be treated as any less of an injury worthy of care than an injury below the shoulders. We all want mental wellness. Discussing mental illness and seeking care should not be taboo.

#BREAKTHESTIGMA