Social media is meant to make us feel connected to others by allowing us to share our world with friends and family. If used sparingly, it can help form meaningful relationships and complement our social life in a positive manner. However, platforms like Snapchat and Instagram are designed to be addictive, and too much use can be associated with anxiety, depression, and cyberbullying. When does social media use become too much, and how do you know when it’s too much for your children?
The Pew Research Center reports that 69% of adults and 81% of teenagers in the U.S. use social media on a regular basis. This isn’t surprising, given that social media activates the brain’s reward center by releasing dopamine, the “feel-good chemical” linked to pleasurable activities like food, sex, and social interaction. Social media can provide many benefits, such as helping people in remote areas find bigger communities of support or acting as a substance-free escape from daily stressors.
Today’s children and teenagers are growing up with social media; they have never seen a world without posts, likes, comments, shares, or 24/7 access to news. Even my 5-year-old daughter talks about “clicking like and subscribing to my content” when she’s playing. In some ways, online interaction can come easier to youngsters who struggle with real-world social dynamics. But of course, everything is good in moderation, and excessive involvement with the cyber world can be detrimental to people of all ages.
There is a slippery slope with social media. Since the pandemic, we have seen a surge in social anxiety, especially when kids started to get back to in-person school, activities, and playdates. Having gotten used to the online world during quarantine, some kids became uncomfortable and anxious when meeting people face to face. The anonymity that social media provides can be great for those who are anxious, but it could also make in-person events more difficult for them.
Research from the Journal of Adolescence demonstrated that adolescents who overused social media—especially at night—appeared more emotionally invested in it, as well as experiencing poorer sleep quality, lower self-esteem, and higher levels of anxiety and depression compared with teens whose social media was limited.
Social media can be detrimental when it becomes a way of life, or when kids (and adults) become obsessive about it. If you or your children find that social media is a constant focus of attention, or if you are judging your self-worth from your “likes,” “dislikes,” or followers, it is likely time to reconsider the levels of social media usage in your home.
How do you know you need a break? Teens or younger kids aren’t always able to self-regulate or know when they need to take a break from social media. Parents need to monitor accounts and screen time to ensure that children aren’t spending more than 2-3 hours a day on screens. Parents should get to know some of the accounts their kids follow to check that they are a positive influence and are not promoting poor body image or negative self-worth.
As a board-certified child psychiatrist, I always recommend asking children questions on a regular basis to see if they appear preoccupied with getting likes or follows on their posts or videos. I would also suggest following their YouTube channel to look for anyone “trolling,” or posting mean comments. Additionally, observe your kids to see if they appear sad or angry after checking social media. This can be a sign that it is problematic. If your child can’t put down the phone or iPad without getting anxious or upset, then a break is surely needed.
Here are some other recommendations:
- Schedule tech-free times for the family—like during meals, homework, and bedtime.
- Look up some app blockers and parental control devices.
- Discuss and set designated time limits on access to social media.
- Turn the Wi-Fi off overnight to ensure that teens are not using social media when they aren’t supposed to.
There are always ways to improve the family’s interactions with the online world. The more openly parents communicate with children, the better they will understand how social media affects the way young people think about others and feel about themselves.
Dr. Nicole Mavrides is the Medical Director of Psychiatry for PM Pediatrics. Dr. Mavrides is quadruple board certified in pediatrics, adult/child psychiatry, and consultation liaison psychiatry. Previously, Dr. Mavrides was the training director for Child and Adolescent Psychiatry and the medical director of the Pediatric Psychiatry Consultation Liaison Program at the University of Miami. She is one of the premier specialists for children with medical and psychiatric issues in South Florida