I’m a proud #girldad
On February 23, 2013, my life changed. I gained not only a beautiful baby girl but also a best friend. I am a #girldad.
After the tragic passing of Kobe Bryant, ESPN anchor Elle Duncan shared on SportsCenter a story about meeting Bryant for the first (and only) time. Bryant pridefully spoke about his three girls and his excitement over the possibility of having a fourth.
Duncan asked Bryant if he wanted more children. Without hesitation Bryant said, “I would have five more girls if I could. I’m a GIRL DAD.„ The hashtag “girldad” was born and quickly went viral. I was one of the millions of dads who reposted a picture of my daughter, Harper, and I playing basketball. In honor of Kobe, I used #girldad.
I am lucky enough to have two children, a girl (Harper, age 7) and a boy (Hudson, age 3).
I always knew I would have a great relationship with my son, as most dads do. Like many dads, however, my relationship with my daughter is just “special.”
I brag about my daughter, ad nauseam. Pictures of her are peppered throughout my office. My friends sometimes roll their eyes at me when I tell yet another story about the time Harper did “fill in the blank.”
The truth is, I am just so darn proud of her. In my eyes, she is perfect in every way.
Looking back, however, I have been the proudest of her when she and I do something together that defies stereotypes. In those moments, I know I am raising her the way Bryant raised his daughters.
Bryant, one of the most competitive and ruthless athletes of all-time, did not see gender as a barrier to his daughters having the same opportunities and privileges as boys.
In decades past, dads of girls interacted differently with them than dads of boys. Dads were expected to do traditional “boy activities” with their sons and “girl activities” with their daughters. Society placed limits on what fathers and daughters should do.
Boys played sports. Girls danced and cheered.
Boys went camping. Girls had tea parties.
Boys lead. Girls followed.
Parkland, Broward County, the world, in fact, is full of dads who have amazing relationships with their daughters. These are dads who post a myriad of pictures on social media of them with their daughters at concerts, sporting events, or catching fish. These are dads that are not embarrassed to perform in “Dancing Dads” at Dance Theater, or that take time off from work to watch their daughter perform in the school play.
Many of these dads feel the same way about their daughters’ limitless potential and want their daughters to know that they are supporting them every step of the way.
#Girldads want their daughters to be fearless, brave, assertive, take chances, make mistakes, and strive for greatness in everything they do–athletics or otherwise.
#Girldads are proud of their daughters for being true to themselves regardless of what others think they should be.
#Girldads embrace the fact that they get to experience the best of both worlds.
#Girldads always let their daughters know that they can accomplish anything–the world is their oyster!
A typical day with Harper includes dancing in the family room as well as practicing free throws.
One night we may watch Goonies or The Sandlot; the next night, The Princess Diaries or Troop Beverly Hills.
It is just as likely Harper and I will film a TikTok video or throw a football in the backyard.
The best part about living in Parkland as a #girldad may be Parkland Rec Sports. Don’t believe me? Attend a Friday Night Lights football game. #GirlDads are just as intensely cheering for their daughters as they are for their sons. The girls have a blast. The parents have a blast. It may be the best draw of Parkland – #girldads galore!
Many of the dads coach their son’s teams and their daughter’s teams. These #girldads get to the field at 5:00 p.m. and don’t leave until 9:00 p.m. They treat all their children equally.
Parkland Rec Sports is shattering stereotypes of who is an athlete.
By encouraging Harper to engage in traditional boy activities, she is gaining traits that will propel her ahead as she moves forward in life: Self-confidence, willingness to take criticism, strong sense of focus, humility, resiliency and the ability to learn from setbacks, and a sense of belonging, just to name a few. These traits are equally important to boys and girls.
A bunch of Parkland dads take their girls camping multiple times per year. Camping builds character and takes them out of their comfort zone. Some of the best conversations Harper and I have ever had are from lying in our tents discussing life or laughing about the time there was no dedicated shower area on site so I washed her off with a hose (Shh, don’t tell mom). These dads will tell you camping with their daughters is just magical.
Parkland #girldads are some of the best around. You’ll notice them now – they are the ones holding their daughter’s hand
as they walk through the mall, belting out songs in the car with the windows down, or volunteering for a role in the Enchanted Tales with Belle attraction at Disney World.
Dads – don’t be afraid to play dress up and catch with your daughter. Embrace the societal shift. Gender doesn’t dictate what she can and cannot do. Just be proud of her, empower her to lead the way, and support her choices. Hold her hand tight and tell her you love her, as there is nothing better than being a #girldad.
By Philip Snyder
Philip Snyder writes the Legal Matters column for the Parklander.
The workforce behind the dress
Marriage isn’t a ring worn or a paper signed. It’s not something endured, but savored. While people spend months, even years, planning every detail of the big day, there isn’t anything that could have prepared them for the coronavirus pandemic. Some couples had to cancel or delay because of coronavirus concerns, many still proceeding with smaller gatherings or virtual weddings for now. Designers and bridal shops that cater to these major life events are doing what they do best, offering creative solutions to unexpected circumstances. Alexander Couture Bridal in Pompano Beach and Susan Rose in Coral Springs are both open and working to accommodate their clients.
David Ramcharan, who has worked as a designer at The
Art Institute and an event planner, is continuing the 30-year tradition at Alexander Couture Bridal of providing his clients with the right dress for their event. “About 60 hours can go into a single wedding dress,” said Ramcharan. “It can take five to six months to be ordered in, but I’m still getting brides to come in and have that feeling of getting their dream dress.”
Susan Rose does not offer wedding dresses, but focuses
on fashion for other major life events – quinceañeras, sweet sixteen parties, bat-mitzvahs; along with dresses for your backyard wedding these days. She is seeing a mix of reactions from her clients, many forging ahead with their events, but with smaller groups, and many with virtual components to connect with loved ones not able to travel.
Both Susan Rose and Alexander Couture Bridal are minimizing risk
to their clients by seeing clients via appointments and following all social distancing and mask rules. Fashion is an in-person collaborative experience to try on a dress and customize, if required. To ensure her client’s safety, Rae Ann, owner of Susan Rose, shared that all dresses get sanitized after being tried on, and her two-hour appointment slots give the staff time to disinfect after each visit.
Ramcharan says, “We’re still taking safety precautions in the store like wearing masks, gloves, washing hands, and being mindful. Brides are still allowed to try on gowns because I want it to be as personal as possible. Regardless of what’s happening, my goal is not to take away from the experience that other brides have had in the past before the pandemic.”
At Alexander Couture Bridal, “we have a lot of dresses I create, and
we also have for the curvier girl. I give them a wish list for the design process, they tell me what they want, we do alterations, and if I’m putting my name on something it has to show I did them right. So even with the pandemic and a lot of things having changed, productions, styles, and fabric choices, are still going well.”
“The pandemic has also changed the way people shop for wedding dresses,” said Ramcharan. “A lot of brides are now also shopping for dresses online.”
The coronavirus outbreak has caused worry across the wedding industry. Postponements and cancellations have forced couples, bridal shops, and vendors to get creative. Most boutiques are doing virtual try-on’s however, Ramcharan believes the brides are limiting their experience by not getting the proper style, fabrics, or measurements when purchasing online.
“We give them a tour, suggestions for styles, fit, designs, and really help to make it a one-one-experience that you just can’t get when online,” said Ramcharan. “It can change the entire way it fits, and a dress often takes multiple appointments to find one that’s a suitable dress. Followed by several fittings over the course that can take up to several months.”
Ramcharan does believe the sector is anticipated to recover gradually after COVID-19 related restrictions are lifted. However, the recovery of the sector will depend on people feeling safe enough to hold a large gathering.
Many will likely downsize to smaller gatherings, or postpone the ceremonies until the pandemic fully subsides. Engaged couples who are planning to get married in the near future could postpone the ceremony to further save up for the occasion too.
Speaking of a recent wedding, “[The bride] said this was the wedding [she] really wanted and better than what we originally had planned,” said Ramcharan. “We were also able to do live streams with 300 guests when she would have originally had fifty. Even a lot of men were into it, and it all came out so beautiful and perfect.”
Pandemic or not, life still goes on, and many in the communities are finding creative ways to celebrate important life events. So if you are starting to plan your event, reach out to these two local businesses, they will be happy to give advice and share their experiences.
Contact information:
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Alexander Couture Bridal, 878 SW 10th Avenue, Suite #8, Pompano Beach, FL, (954) 943-7768
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Susan Rose, 9829 W Sample Rd, Coral Springs, FL 33065, (954) 472-2120
By Nile Fortner
Photography by Gabriella Melo/@melometer
Additional contributions by Li Pan
SoFlo BUZZ: CSMoA receives humanities endowment/Grad wins Daggerwing scholarship
Coral Springs Museum of Art receives humanities endowment
The Coral Springs Museum of Art was awarded $10,000 in funding provided by the National Endowment for the Humanities through a grant from Florida Humanities as part of the 2020 Coronavirus Aid, Relief and Economic Security (CARES) Act of 2020.
“We are navigating through challenging times in our nation and community due to health and financial impacts COVID-19 has posed globally,” said Development Manager, Gabrielle Grundy-Lester. “We are grateful to have been awarded this grant as funding will help to support administrative costs for the organization.”
The Coral Springs Museum of Art is committed to providing the community with virtual opportunities to engage and connect with dynamic exhibits, artists, as well as educational programs for children.
North Broward Prep grad wins Daggerwing scholarship
Megan Mui, a new graduate of North Broward Preparatory School, has been awarded a scholarship by the Friends of Daggerwing Nature Center in Boca Raton.
She received the 2020 Scott Cowan Memorial Scholarship. Megan is a 2020 National Merit winner who plans to pursue a pre-med program at the University of South Florida. She is a weekly volunteer at the ER desk at Bethesda Health, in Boynton Beach, FL.
“We hope to both continue and expand our volunteer scholarship program to recognize and celebrate these young volunteers
who make a valued contribution to our nature center,” said Edith Cowan, FOD President, and mother of Scott Cowan, for whom the scholarship is named.
The non-profit organization was formed to help support and expand Daggerwing Nature Center’s programs and activities for the families and schools in the local communities.
SoFlo BUZZ: Broward Center graduates teen ambassadors
The Broward Center for the Performing Arts recently honored the 10th graduating class of the Broward Center Teen Ambassador program from area high schools and home schooling programs.
With theaters dark, the students concluded the program by reviewing streaming performances of Broadway, classical, dance, opera, and jazz remotely. The final meeting of the season was held via ZOOM where students gathered to look back on the year, share memories, and hear the graduating seniors share their future plans.
The Teen Ambassador program fosters the next generation of performing arts fans and nurtures a fresh perspective on traditional and contemporary arts. Acting as in-house theater critics, they demonstrate a dedication to both the performing arts and writing. The students also earn community service hours through the program.
Public, private, and home-schooled high school students residing in Broward, Miami-Dade, and Palm Beach counties are eligible to participate in the Teen Ambassador program. The deadline to apply for the 2020-2021 class is August 28. Applications are available now at BrowardCenter.org/ education/studentprograms/teen- ambassadors. Call 954.468.2689 or e-mail teenambassador@ browardcenter.org for more information.
The 2019-2020 graduating class includes Adelina Marinello, American Heritage; Megan Price, Cardinal Gibbons; Alan Halaly, Deerfield Beach; Maya Washburn, Florida Virtual; Carmela Cinnante, Home-school; Mariah McSweeney, McFatter; Allison Garland, Nova; Alexa Domash, Olympic Heights; Abbie Kopelwitz and Emma Wasserman, Western.
SoFlo BUZZ: Children’s Harbor plans Harbor Lights Gala: POSTPONED
*The Children’s Harbor Annual Harbor Lights Gala has been POSTPONED until further notice! Continue to check back to https://www.childrensharbor.org/events for more event information.*
Children’s Harbor’s annual Harbor Lights Gala, themed
“A Million Dreams,” has been rescheduled to Saturday, September 12 from 6 to 10 p.m. at Conrad Fort Lauderdale Beach, 551 N Fort Lauderdale Beach Blvd. The annual fundraiser helps ensure that siblings in foster care can stay together in a loving and nurturing home.
Festivities will include a cocktail reception, dinner, a silent auction, and a night of dancing with live musical entertainment. Black tie is optional. Tickets are $250 per person. For sponsorship and more information, contact Bibi Deen at 954- 252-3072 or email bdeen@ChildrensHarbor.org.
Established in 1996, Children’s Harbor is a nationally accredited nonprofit agency with a mission to provide a safe harbor and support to at-risk children, youth, and families — keeping brothers and sisters together, strengthening families, and rebuilding lives.
Children’s Harbor provides nurturing, family group homes for 24 siblings and 7 pregnant/parenting teens in the foster care system on their 8 acre campus in Pembroke Pines. These loving homes allow brothers and sisters, and teen mothers and their babies to stay together during a turbulent time in their young lives. Children’s Harbor also helps prevent child abuse through their Family Strengthening Program. Each year, 200 families across Broward County receive in-home counseling to improve parenting and communication skills.
Podcast Episode #11 – Parkland City Commissioner Candidate Bill Reicherter
Bill Reicherter, is a candidate for Parkland city commissioner, from District 1. He is a local businessman, who is always looking to hear from the local residents. Reach out to him via email: bill4parkland@gmail.com
Check out previous episodes in: https://theparklander.com/podcasts.
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A Tale of Two Parklands
There are two Parklands. There is the cardboard cutout of the classic suburban dream. There is the latest installment in America’s long-running series of school shootings. There is that familiar, mind-numbing boredom. There is that wild, vicious intensity. There is the Parkland where I spent my childhood — and there is the Parkland where I lost it.
I assumed that the shooting destroyed the Parkland from before, swallowed it whole. I threw myself into college before it could swallow me too. But of course, the pandemic forced me to return. I cannot escape the gravitational pull of the past. As expected, my Parkland, the wasn’t-that-where-that-shooting- happened Parkland, was waiting for me. We walk circles together around my neighborhood, only to see the Parkland that I used to know, preschoolers and their parents playing games. That Parkland is yours now, and all I can do is wave politely as I pass by.
I imagine you sizing me up, guessing my age, what school I went to. Wondering. I know your questions before you ask them. Every survivor does. That “were you there?” hangs in the air between us. That “did you know anyone?” haunts our awkward back-and-forth. We students, we were all so watched. That ever-present elephant in the room has trampled over every interaction between Douglas students and Parkland residents for the past two and a half years. I grew so used to it, I didn’t realize how quickly people began to forget.
I never thought I would miss the days where well-meaning
— but ultimately condescending — adults would look at me whenever there was a loud sound, waiting for me to break down. But on this year’s Fourth of July, I wish Parklanders had maintained that hyper-awareness.
PTSD doesn’t just affect us when it’s convenient for you. It affects us when we hear fireworks sounding like gunshots. The #MSDstrong stickers seem more like mockery when paired with the distinctive stink of gunpowder. This year’s nearly nonstop display of fireworks demonstrates that Parkland has forgotten the victims it vowed to remember.
I ran outside on the Fourth of July, enraged at my neighbors, spitting out every curse I could. I yelled at the top of my lungs, yelled as though I was dying. You’d think I’d gone insane. I think I did. All I know is, this town is eating me alive, and I must scream. When I told off my neighbors for lighting fireworks, they said, “I didn’t know.” Part of me wants to scoff at this excuse. How dare you not know! But thank God you don’t. The other part of me remembers that I used to be like you.
The Me from Before reminds me that I love fireworks. Not loved, love, present- tense. I miss them even now. I used to beg my parents to take us to the beach to watch them. The big boom reverberating in my throat, the bright colors lighting up the smoke of their predecessors, the collective oohs and ahhs, filled me with such awe. I am both starving and nauseous. I long for that which makes me sick.
To my surprise, my neighbors sent me a card and flowers the next day, apologizing. They meant no harm. I still don’t know how to feel about it. Yay, they care! Of course, they couldn’t know how the saccharine sympathy we received after the shooting only intensifies survivors’ guilt. Again, they mean no harm, and yet, harm is caused. To be honest, I don’t know that there is a right way to handle this. How can you do right in a situation so fundamentally wrong? I wrote them a letter in response, saying this:
“We need to cultivate conscious empathy. If you live in Parkland (or Coral Springs), you live in the aftermath of a school shooting, even if you personally did not go through it. Over 3,000 students were there. We live among you, and you live among us. No one gets the luxury of opting out of our past. It wasn’t just the 17 deaths the day of the shooting. Two survivors died by suicide after that. It is our responsibility to educate ourselves on how to support each other, or at least how not to cause harm. The stakes are higher than you can imagine.”
I can’t return to Your Parkland. Slowly, the victims and their families are moving away, and new families take their place. Like a hurricane, old branches fly off. New growth takes over. If you look close enough, you might notice a slight gap where a tree crushed the branches, but this is Parkland. Soon enough, landscapers will shave down the irregularities and plant something suitable to keep the real estate values high.
So what can we do to bridge this aching gap between us? Octavia Butler once said there was no single answer to the difficult questions she raises in her writing. “Instead,” she said, “there are thousands of answers — at least. You can be one of them if you choose to be.”
By LMF
Publisher’s Note: Celebrate as one.
July 4th is a celebration, and fireworks have always been a major part of it. As a community, we can find possible solutions for residents with PTSD, so they too can celebrate our nation’s birthday without stress. Send in your ideas to publisher@theparklander.com, so we can make 7/4/2021 a better experience for those of us still healing.
Alyssa’s Law comes home
In the wake of the Marjory Stoneman Douglas shooting, and in an attempt to make schools safer, Florida is now the second state in the country, after New Jersey, to adopt Alyssa’s Law, named after one of the shooting victims.
The state committed to allocate $8 million to implement the statewide mobile alert system for schools, despite a pandemic and budget cuts.
Thanks to Senator Lauren Book (D-Plantation) and State Representatives Michael Gottlieb and Dan Daley, Alyssa’s Law unanimously passed the Florida House of Representatives and was signed into law by Gov. Ron DeSantis on June 30.
“We’re so excited to get this bill passed,” says Book, a mother of two-year-old twins and an advocate for students and educational issues.
The bill is named in honor of Alyssa Alhadeff, an honor student, then 14, who was murdered on Valentine’s Day 2018 while in her classroom at the Marjory Stoneman Douglas shooting, along with 13 of her schoolmates, and 3 staff members. The bill mandates that all public schools in the state of Florida install silent alarms that will be directly connected to local law enforcement in a state of emergency.
According to her parents, Ilan and Lori Alhadeff, Alyssa was “bright, energetic, happy, athletic – a pure ray of sunshine who lit up every room with her warm smile. She was an honor student, a good friend who was known to stay up later than she should have in order to support others, a winning debater, and a star soccer player, the captain of her traveling team.”
Alyssa’s parents founded the non-profit Make Our Schools Safe, with a mission of empowering students and staff to create and maintain a culture of safety and vigilance in a secure school environment. Part of those efforts was lobbying for the passage of the Alyssa’s Law bill.
“In the massacre at MSD, milliseconds mattered – and the lack of real-time coordination between first responders likely cost precious lives,” Book said in a statement after the bill was signed.
The Parkland Commission, set up after the tragedy to determine what went wrong, found that chaos and delayed response time contributed to unnecessary loss of life.
Beginning with the 2021 school year, Alyssa’s Law will require all public elementary and secondary schools to install either silent panic alarms, a cellphone app, or alternative emergency mechanisms approved by The Department of Education from which to silently alert the police.
In an interview with local Tallahassee TV station WTXL, Lori Alhadeff, now a member of the Broward School Board said “We didn’t have panic buttons. If we had an Alyssa’s Alert, teachers would have seen it on their phones and would have known how to respond properly. They could have locked and barricaded their rooms and got[ten] out of the line of fire.”
Alhadeff’s goal is to get all 50 states to pass Alyssa’s Law.
Visit: makeourschoolssafe.org
To help bring Alyssa’s Law to the national level, visit: change.org/p/u-s-house-of-representatives-pass-the- alyssa-law-at-the-national-level?recruiter=985442548&utm_ source=share_petition&utm_medium=email&recruited_by_ id=c6ac5260-a9a9-11e9-aa54-e9ab6b748c2a
By Jan Engoren
August 2020 Magazine
Local author tackles timely social issues
Not one to shy away from tough social issues of the day, Boynton Beach author Robert Brink tackles racism, police brutality and issues of legal justice in his latest legal thriller, “Blood on their Hands,” set in South Florida.
Inspired by a true-life meeting with a black man who came to repair his computer and recounted a story of being roughed up by the police for sporting an Obama bumper-sticker, Brink uses the incident as the catalyst for his suspense-filled narrative that is at once compelling and surprisingly humorous.
“This is a tale replete with both pathos and humor, steeped in sex, suspense, intrigue, and violence all leavened by a tragic love affair,” says Brink. “Perhaps most important, it is a story of redemption.”
Brink took inspiration from two of his favorite films, the 2008 Clint Eastwood film, “Gran Torino” and the 1992 classic, “My Cousin Vinnie,” (“my favorite comedy of all time”) starring Joe Pesci and Marisa Tomei. He borrowed themes from both films and used them as inspiration for this novel.
Brink’s previous books include the coming-of-age novel “Breaking Out,” “The Way It Was: Short Stories and Tall Tales,” and “A Tale of Two Continents,” a ghost-written memoir.
“I’m fascinated by true crime stories,” says Brink, whose last book was “Murder in Palm Beach: The Homicide That Never Died,” about a Standard
Oil career executive, Richard Kreusler, who was gunned down at the front door of his Palm Beach home in 1976.
In “Blood on Their Hands,” a racist attorney (Hiram Garbuncle) eventually finds redemption when he defends his client, an immigrant from Trinidad, brutally beaten by police. While it goes against the defense attorney’s grain to defend a black man from a charge of violently resisting arrest, he discovers incriminating evidence on the two cops, and rises to the challenge to keep himself and his client alive pending a new trial.
With police shootings of unarmed black men making headlines on a regular basis, “Blood on Their Hands” is a timely exploration of how bigoted feelings and perceptions play a role in racial profiling.
“It personalizes the issue of racial discrimination, helping the reader to comprehend the makeup of a bigot,” Brink says. “The book also provides a glimpse into how the legal system may be stacked against minority members of our society.”
Brink exploits a quirk in criminal law and his character makes use of this controversial tactic, one in which the defense attorney serves as a witness for the defendant.
“It’s very rare, but can be done,” says Brink, who spent hours researching the issue and speaking to criminal attorneys about the issue.
A mid-westerner by birth and temperament, Brink is a former journalist and worked for the Palm Beach Post where he covered police and criminal trials. He’s also written for Palm Beach Illustrated magazine and The Associated Press in Chicago.
Brink received two offers from traditional publishers and chose Touchstone Press he says, because several of their authors have won awards.
What advice does he have for other would-be authors?
“Get the basics right first, and move on to such salient elements as showing versus telling, point of view (which still baffles me), and command of dialogue.”
By Jan Engoren
Engaged Couples: August 2020
Karina went to college with Ryan’s cousin, Suzie, who thought the two would be great together. Apparently, she was right. When Suzie learned Karina was going home to Boca in the summer of 2015 and that Ryan would be staying in school at FAU for the summer, she set the two up for coffee.
Their first date was a walk on the beach where they watched a mother turtle bury her eggs.
Four and a half years later, Ryan proposed to Karina. We don’t know what happened with the turtle eggs.
The proposal came at a New Year’s Eve Party. The ring Ryan ordered hadn’t arrived, but when the ball dropped in New York City, Ryan dropped to one knee, offered her a “promise ring” he bought that day and popped the question. Ryan had a friend standing by camera-ready to capture the event.
The actual ring was to arrive a week later and Ryan insisted Karina stay home all day to meet the UPS delivery man with the precious package. Turns out, when the doorbell finally rang, Ryan WAS the UPS guy, carrying flowers, the ring, and another proposal. So how sweet is that?
They SCUBA dive together, cook, and go on long walks, purposely leaving all technology behind. They plan to honeymoon in Hawaii, where they will dive, snorkel, and explore the underwater world.
Ryan is a test engineer for Sensormatic. Karina is a proofreader and operations assistant at the Parklander magazine.
Maybe you’ve heard of it.
Kristina Nunez, of Coconut Creek, and Javier Garcia, of Fort Lauderdale, will be wed this Nov. 21 at St. Anthony’s Catholic Church in Fort Lauderdale, followed by a reception at Deer Creek Country Club.
The couple met in September 2016 through a dating app and Javier proposed in New York’s Central Park 2 1⁄2 years later. He hired a photographer to capture the moment.
The couple enjoys dancing, going to the movies, exploring new restaurants, and traveling. They both enjoy just spending time together, regardless of the activity.
The couple hopes to honeymoon to Europe after the pandemic is over, exploring new places and cultures.
Both are teachers with Broward County Public Schools. Javier teaches high school and Kristina, elementary school.