Category: Education

When the mass shooting occurred at Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School, parents were lost as what to do and where to begin in efforts to support their grieving children. Many parents were just as traumatized as their children. Children can be silent sufferers and all have to have to learn how to deal with a roller coaster of emotions. As a licensed clinical social worker, I have a few helpful solutions to uncomfortable conversation easier.

Attempt to have an open discussion about the shootings with your child. Not talking about it can make the tragedy even more threatening in their mind. It is very likely that they’re having daily reminders of the tragedy from media, peers at school, and even by physically being at school. Initiating a conversation will allow the opportunity to voice their feelings and fears rather than hold them in. When communicating with them avoid clichés like, “I know how you feel” or, “Everything will be alright.” The goal is to ease the suffering by being compassionate and providing a sense of safety. Maintaining open communication is key. Persuade your children to ask questions, and try to answer those questions directly. In hard times, share one piece of good news a day and encourage them to do the same.   

Continue to remind your children that these are natural feelings, and they aren’t alone. Be a positive role model and consider sharing your feelings about the event, but at a level they can understand. Express sadness and empathy for the victims and their families. Suggest ways you and your children together can be helpful in the community by supporting local causes and advocating to make change. Role-model ways to be more in the moment. For example, enjoy a television show or game night together as a family, or even a fun outing. This will help alleviate anxiety and tension triggered by the tragedy. It also provides a sense of relief and family unity. Social media, cellphones, and gaming are just distractions. It takes our children away from facing the reality of the world around them, which suppresses the grief. If they hold in and suppress these painful feelings, it can come out in negative ways. Our jobs as parents are to provide them with a platform to grieve in order to help them heal and develop their own coping skills.  As the one year anniversary of the terrible tragedy at MSD approaches, it is essential that we reintroduce conversations. There is no right or wrong way or normal length of time for grieving. The family as a whole should understand that each person is going through a personal journey. Remind them that their deep-rooted feelings are normal reactions to an abnormal event. Be patient with your child as they may experience moodiness, anger, sadness, guilt, and/or irritable behaviors.  When attempting to bond with your child be mindful of their current feelings so that your tone of voice and demeanor can be more soothing. To support them in their sorrow and through the healing process, motivate them to attend local support groups and community outreach events. Encourage your child to attend memorials and vigils. These healing events offer the community a chance to come together and mourn as one and help them feel unified. If you or someone in your family is struggling with a painful loss, please call, First Call for Help of Broward(954) 537-0211 or dial 211 on your cellphone for community resources to assist your family.

Edgire Joseph credits Dr. Celso Agner with saving her 11-year-old daughter’s life from a condition many may not associate with children. Stroke.

Strokes are a lot more common – and potentially deadly – in children than people might realize. “It’s the 10th leading cause of mortality in children,” said Agner, who treated Joseph’s daughter, Coral Springs pre-teen Lynn-sah Joseph.

Lynn-say’s symptoms, on the day she suffered a stroke last November, suggested something wasn’t right. At school, she complained about feeling dizzy and had a headache. When Lynn-sah came home her symptoms worsened. EMS personnel rushed her to Broward Health Medical Center. The girl’s condition deteriorated – until she became paralyzed on her left side.

Following her diagnosis, Lynn-sah underwent emergency surgery to remove a blood clot in the middle of her brain. Six days after the operation, Lynn-sah’s neurological test returned normal. She did, however, suffer some residual weakness in her left arm. Lynn-sah returned to school six weeks later.

Her mother recalled feeling “scared” and “shocked” on that November day, when her daughter couldn’t feel her left side. “The second shock that day was when I found out they didn’t have any stroke treatments for children,” Edgire said. “Dr. Agner is the best and he saved my daughter’s life.” The physician is an interventional neurologist at Broward Health Medical Center.

“I didn’t want to believe that I had a stroke,” Lynn-sah said. “Not at my age. I thought it happened to people who are older.”

Agner said strokes are “not very common” in children and teenagers. “Most childhood strokes occur either because the youth has Sickle Cell Disease, or because the youngster had suffered a form of trauma. “Non-traumatic stroke is even more rare, because they are not recognized easily,” Agner said.

In Lynn-sah’s case, “the cause of stroke has not been identified yet,” he added. “We are working on it. The patient has been consulted by specialists in cardiology and hematology.”

Stroke is more likely in the teen years than in earlier childhood. Agner said it’s “hard to talk about numbers because strokes are often missed. It is getting more frequently diagnosed because the awareness on the condition is increasing, so we start seeing more cases.”

Agner said children and their caregivers should be on the lookout for the following symptoms: Difficulty moving limbs on one side, problems with vision, trouble speaking, unresponsiveness, or not being alert. “If any of these things occur without a prior history of occurring, there should be a concern for stroke,” he said. “Children should be taken to the ER immediately. Do not delay or wait. The main problem with pediatric stroke is early recognition.”

According to Broward Health officials, Lynn-sah’s early diagnosis “led to a positive outcome that highlights the importance of timely stroke intervention.”

While better technology exists to treat childhood stroke patients, “approved protocols are currently not approved for children, so it is treated on a case-by-case basis,” Agner said. In Lynn-sah’s case, treatment has resulted in a positive outcome.

“She started off with a complete left-side paralysis,” Agner said. “Now she has a slight left arm weakness but it is almost imperceptible now.”

According to a Broward Health press release, Lynn-sah is back to being a fun-loving, happy pre-teen. “I feel back the way I used to be – active, jumpy, I feel great,” Lynn-sah said.

Lynn-sah is looking toward her future. “When I grow up, I want to be a neurologist like Dr. Agner,” she said.

Walking into a store the other day I, and the woman next to me, stopped when we saw a fire truck, ambulance, and police car outside. We looked at each other and questioned whether it was safe to go inside. The conversation continued, and she told me that even though she works in a busy hospital, she never goes anywhere alone. She has her husband or grown son accompany her. The anxiety of the past year has taken its toll on her and she explained that getting her nails done by herself was a monumental step. If an adult woman struggles to go in the outside world, how do young children step inside of a school? How do we make them feel good about it?

The American Psychological Association urges parents to speak honestly with their children and to keep the level of detail age appropriate. Allow them to speak without interrupting and try to make home a haven where they can have a respite from the outside world. Following a crisis, children’s habits may change including sleep patterns, study patterns, and changes in appetite. Keeping news to a minimum and allowing children to express themselves through forms of art are some of the suggestions to help parents navigate this difficult time.

Christopher Gannon, a music teacher at Eagle Ridge Elementary and a band/color guard instructor at Marjory Stoneman Douglas, has been connecting with children at every age level during the recent crisis. “February 15th feels like it was yesterday,” Gannon said, referring to the day after the shooting. Because of his position as a music teacher, he sees children from pre-k to fifth grade and indicates that many of the children are discussing the tragedy at home.

Recently, the school had a day for children to wear orange for gun violence and Gannon remarked that an overwhelming number of children wore orange. “Maybe some parents just told their children they were wearing orange to school that day, but I think that most of the children were aware of the reason,” Gannon said. The fear, sadness, and awareness differ for each child he said, which may be due to the amount of discussion or exposure at home. “There is no right or wrong how parents handle it,” he said.

Gannon has not witnessed any major changes in his students. While it may be in the back of their minds, he feels that the children believe everyone is doing their best to protect them. One common denominator among children of all ages is their resilience, particularly among high school students. “They are driven by the right things, whatever they believe that is,” Gannon said.

The Marjory Stoneman Douglas band recently gave their last performance for the year and a tribute was played for the victims. The practices were highly emotional, and, at times, students would have to leave the room to collect themselves but would then return. During one of the practices an instrument was dropped and thinking that it was a gunshot there were some screams and a moment of fear, but that the students quickly regained their calm.

Gannon, who comes from a family of musicians, is a firm believer that music has provided a form of release for them. “Being involved in any form of art allows one to creatively express themselves,” he said. Gannon offers a reminder and some reassuring words: “These kids are positive and powerful.”