by Glenn Swift Jr.

We all remember the embarrassment, and humiliation, we proud Floridians endured during the 2000 presidential election: butterfly ballots, and hanging chads. Those images are firmly planted in our memory banks. So, let’s be honest. We didn’t look all that great before the nation. Of course, we assured ourselves that all the insanity wasn’t indicative of our robust, cutting-edge state. Well, on closer look, maybe we do need to rethink a few things after all. You see, we have some, let’s say, rather bizarre laws still in effect in our glorious Sunshine State. Here are some examples of what I’m talking about. Just don’t tell your friends up North.
They’ll be convinced that we really are nuts!
In Florida…
It is illegal to block any well-traveled wagon road.
It is illegal to fart in a public place after 6pm on a Thursday.
It is illegal to skateboard without a license.
Failure to tell your neighbor his house is on fire is illegal.
It is illegal to fish while driving across a bridge.
Sexual relations with a porcupine are strictly prohibited.
It is illegal for an unmarried woman to skydive on Sunday.
When having sex only the missionary position is legal.
Women can be fined for falling asleep under a hair dryer. (the salon owner can also be fined for this horrible crime.)
It is illegal to break more than three dishes per day, or chip the edges of more than four cups and/or saucers.
Lap dances must be given at least six feet away from a patron.
You may not kiss your wife’s breasts.
Rats are forbidden to leave a ship docked in Tampa Bay.
Topless walking or running within a 150-foot zone between the beach and the street is prohibited.
In Key West…
It is illegal to spit on a church floor.
Chickens are considered a “protected species.”
In Miami…
It is illegal for a man to wear any kind of strapless gown.
It is illegal to imitate an animal.
The penalty for horse theft is death by hanging.
No person shall operate a bicycle unless it is equipped with a bell or device capable of giving a signal audible for a distance of at least 100 feet; however, No bicycle shall be equipped with, nor shall any person use upon a bicycle, any siren or whistle.
Oral sex is illegal.
In Miami Shores…
Any product manufactured in a Communist country that is sold within its city limits must be clearly marked so as not “to hide its Communist origins.”
In Pensacola…
Citizens may not be caught downtown without at least 10 dollars on their person.
It is illegal to roll a barrel on a street. (Fines go up according to the contents of the barrel.)
A woman can be fined (only after death) for being electrocuted in a bathtub while using self-beautification utensils.
In Sarasota…
It is illegal to sing in a public place while attired in a swimsuit.
If you hit a pedestrian, you are fined $78.
Catching crabs is illegal.
In Tampa…
It is illegal to eat cottage cheese on Sunday after 6pm.
Are these crazy enough for you? For more crazy laws, visit
stupidlaws.com/laws/united-states/florida.




Your spacious walk in closet, in addition to a home for clothing and outerwear, may house boxes, tennis rackets, brooms, or some item you just want to hide—it could be anything that doesn’t fit or look good inside a room.
Women’s closet needs differ from mens, but not by much. A women needs to store shoes, purses, dresses, pants, blouses, sweaters, lingerie, and even jewelry. Men lean more to suits, shoes, jeans, shirts, ties, and belts. “Knowing what your client wants, and what they are storing is very important to design the perfect closet space,” Annechiarico said.



Karina Benitez, 13, of Coral Springs, is a gold medal winner of a National Scholastic Art and Writing Award. Competing with others in the 7th to 12th grade category, she didn’t feel she was experienced enough as a poet to even enter the contest. But her teacher at Mary Help of Christians Catholic School and her mother, Yvette Benitez, strongly encouraged her to enter the contest.
The museum is dedicated to the preservation of the history of the Packard Motor Car Company. There are 39 Packard cars on display, the oldest a 1909 model and the latest, a 1958 model. Most of the cars can still be driven. One can learn about each car on display and its unique features. You can see advertisements for the cars, and gain a sense of how the automobile industry developed.

profession (which she does as research for every “Dead-End Job” novel) was an escapade itself. She even volunteered as an official greeter for the museum.
Like other 17-year-olds, Liddy Clark enjoys going to the movies or hanging out with friends at the beach. Unlike other teens, though, Liddy goes to a recording studio after school for two or three hours a day and takes frequent trips to Nashville, where she collaborates with other songwriters.
